Thursday, December 31, 2009

i am now all robotic. =.=

It's my last post of 2009...
I thought it might be good to say something.
Um, ok...
I'm going to little Tokyo tomorrow...
TiTi is coming and idk if Crystal can. Ugh.
Anyway, I guess... that's it?
Bye.
xxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunday, December 27, 2009

somehow, this is not motivating.

now why would that be?
Online Dating
see more deMotivational Posters
Happy Break!
lol
Ok....
I really shouldn't be happy, and I'm not.
Mark and his gf broke up and he has been texting me non stop all day....

Sunday, November 29, 2009

oh no

Oh no... I have orchestra in an hour or so. Or rather, I have to leave for orchestra in an hour or so, because I have to go early and set up, and not only that, I have to ride with Mr White Boy I-Hate-Everyone-Who-Isn't-Full-Blooded-American Anthony (who DARES to share a name with my homie who made retreat bearable!). And so I am not looking overmuch forward to this wonderful system of carpooling. It seems to be a blight on the fabric of my blighted life, a fly in the ointment of my buggy existence. It's not my first choice of how to spend a lovely Sunday afternoon.
Besides, it's the last day before I have to go to school.... and how perfect is that? Instead of frolicking happily in fields of wildflowers and drinking coffee and painting my nails and etcetera, I get to go sit inside a stuffy old room with eighty pretentious musicians who all dislike me, playing my violin which also dislikes me, and listening to a pair of old people drone on about how music is essential to life, particularly classical music as played by their perfectissimo orchestra. And they also dislike me. (On one point, however, I do agree, music IS essential to life, just maybe not The Light Cavalry Overture and Marche Millitaire Francaise. Ya get me?

Saturday, November 28, 2009

i love rain!

Oh no....
Vacation is now over.... That's really depressing. Actually, I really do have one more day, but as I have to go to bed early and do homework that may have previously slipped through my fingers, it really is not that much of a vacation day, is it?
Well... Christmas vacation is coming in a few weeks.... but before that we have finals, probably the school system's way of making sure you don't enjoy your break thoroughly. I'm actually frankly quite scared. Especially for bio.
So.... let us see.
I have, on the same days,
P.e and English
Geo and Spanish
Gay-o and Health
LOVELY who made up this perfect schedule anyway??!
Actually, you know, it's not bad. I have a hard test and an easy test on the same day, AND Gay-o is last so I can at least cram for it all week. And after that? VACATION, BABY!
Jade, Kitty, and I want to go to Victoria Gardens. I might invite Crystal too.
Also, Mom wants to take me and Kitty to Korea town, and we also want to go to Pasadena to go shop at the cheap outlet stores. Then, we also want to go shopping in Ontario Mills. (At least Kitty and I do.) Bonnie wants us (the lunch group) to go to her house and watch Star Trek. (For some reason, I couldn't convince them to see New Moon. Weird, huh? But at least Star Trek has that dude Luke Skywalker. He's probably pretty smokin'. And doesn't he fall in love with 7Up? Or whatever her name is. Or was that Laila? Or Jane Way? Hmm, I'm not really too sure. I better just keep quiet when I'm around the Trek Heads.)
Yesterday, or actually for Thanksgiving, Cousin David (as he is now colloquially known) and his gf Elizabeth came to visit. It was sooo fun! Elizabeth is very pretty. She also has a remarkably high voice. She's pretty shy, though, although she eventually warmed up. Kitty and I were debating whether or not the two of them had done it yet. She thinks from behind. I think just the traditional way, and with nothing fancy. Just in-and-out. (Thank goodness they had separate rooms while they were here, educational as it may have been otherwise!)
Oh yeah! It rained very heavily today! Soooo happy!
Wow, this entry sounds just like the old me. How scary. Almost makes me forget I am both a clumsy little goth girl and an emo slut. (Maybe Mira really is blond. How the eff could I be both?)
Anyway, Sungmin (who turned nine yesterday and is exceedingly proud of the fact) is being a total pestilential brat, so I better go. Also, I still have homework from a week ago. Bye!
xoxoxo~♥~

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

convict me, please, of cruelty to preps

Darn it, vacation is getting to me! But I don't want to go back to school.... No, I don't. I'm scared! I'm scared to go to school. Wow, I sound like a little kid. Oh well.
It's the truth.
I DON'T want to have to hang out with those awful preps anymore! They just make me feel ill. It's like they're trying to repulse people with their noxious odiousosity. (Or idiocy. Whichever you prefer.) I honestly think they're out to take over the whole school. Which would be like a zombie attack, if you ask me, because not only are they scary, cannibalistic, acrimonious clones of each other, they are out to take over the world and kill people. Messily. (Because social death is never a pretty thing.) Although, I think even a zombie attack would be preferable to this. With that, at least, we could hug each other, cry in corners, run away screaming, cancel school indefinitely, and eventually build a giant zombie-banishing missal that would blast off to outer space and take the vile flesh-eaters with it. It seems like a good plan to me! Unfortunately, the zombies in this situation are dressed in Abercrombie and Fitch and play soccer. If we blasted them out into outer space, not only would it be a violation of the sanctity of human rights, but several athletic coaches be out of a job, and many malls would lose their Hollister outlets due to lack of business. Which would be bad for the economy. So it is my noble and patriotic duty to let the evil preps reign supreme and occasionally let me overhear a sop of gossip about the emo sluts who deem it necessary to hang around the school and try to get an education ohmiGOSH isn't that awful and WEIRD!? And did you see her outfit? S-luttttyyy! She must think she's like the queen of all the sluts in the world or something! Oh my gosh, totally. And when I was at soccer practice yesterday, I saw the hottest guy and he was soooooo hot and ohmigosh he was like so tall and OHMIGOSH he said hi to me! Isn't that like the coolest! Hey, I need to copy your answers.
And that, dear friends, is what I am subject to every single day! Although generally it's not even that interesting. Most times, it centers around the soccer team roster, and who brought what water bottle to what game, and how the scores were tied with the other team during the scrimmage, and lovely SHIT how do they find so much conversation over so LITTLE????!!!! Sometimes, the guys get in on it, and when they're not calling the preppiest girl a blond (which I HATE to hear because it reminds me of Mark, and also I'M supposed to be the blond hear, and don't you forget it!), they're discussing the different ways that they should go enjoy their preppy little asses. One of them, this little man named, as far as I can tell, Rook, is SO NAUSEATINGLY ANNOYING that I can hardly stand to look at his ugly little face! He almost literally makes me ILL. I cannot lie. He is just so REPULSIVE. Also, this asshole named Daniel is SO irritating I can hardly stand it! Here are the main points of his irritating-ness.
1. He wears skinny jeans, and he wears them unabashedly! How irritating is that???
2. He frequently makes allusion to "blond moments" and "the dumb blonds I know". HeLLO, emo slut still trying to get over cause of emo sluttiness over here!
3. He has an annoying accent. Although, it's not really an accent as much as sounding like a wiseass all the time.
4. He always casually bumps into me and finds occasion to follow me everywhere and then make me uncomfortable merely by being his preppy, skinny-jean wearing self.
5. He has odd girlfriends. You know, you are what you eat...
6. He has odd friends in general! Which is creepy! It means he himself is odd. (Although one can tell that from his attire.)
7. He treats me like shit when he's with his charmingly preppy friends, and then when I go to tutoring and he's there (NATURALLY) he treats me like I'm his Favorite Buddy Of The Day.
8. He sometimes smiles at me in such a knowing, we're-in-this-together, I'm-not-about-to-let-you-get-eaten-by-the-ravenous-sharklike-zombies-who-happen-to-be-my-very-best-friends-in-all-the-world-so-you-can-relax manner that I feel like pissing my pants in annoyance! (Which is highly unladylike, so, as you can imagine, I do restrain myself from doing so. Although, to do so would be suitably emo in an I-don't-care-what-the-eff-this-joint-has-to-say-about-me-I'm-gone sort of way.)
9. He constantly talks-loudly- about the different girls he likes and what he wants to do to them later. (All right, to be fair, I have never heard him say that, but, as he is a guy, he must be at least thinking those things, if not uttering them aloud.) This would not annoy me, except he already has poor wittle blond Mira strung along on his playa string. (Which also does not bother me, because she is the preppiest of them all. And not only that, you haven't heard annoying accent until you've heard her talk. DANG it's annoying! She has a way of pronouncing the letter "a" so that it's the most grating sound in the world. And she just sounds so white... Ugh, I'm not even going to get into it. It'll take all night. And don't even get me started on her fashion sense! Girl, Uggs ain't hot ant they never will be, so you can march right on over to Urban Outfitters (or the poor homeless person on Citrus Avenue) and give 'em right back. And the same goes for those AWFUL pants! Don't you have a decent pair of jeans? No? Not even a pair that covers your ankles or stops at your knees where it is supposed to? Ah, my condolences. Well, good thing you have all those perfecto cargo pants then.) *Roll of eyes* Anyway.
10. He is SUCH a smartass! Can't stand it! The only one around here who is allowed to be a smartass is me, because I am the only one perhaps in the entire room who is capable of finishing every assignment, by myself, in under twenty minutes. So there. Not that the preps openly copy from me. To do that would be to admit that an emo slut is smarter than them, and dear me, you can believe it would be a cold day in the-you-know-what before that would happen! But still.
Anyway, I'm tired of trashing on the preps. It's just so lame when they can't fight back by showing their snotty little faces to me. (Looking at them makes my eyes wanna pull out that glove and declare a duel right then and there!)
So. What now.
Hmm.
I fpund New Moon on line and am watching it now. Jacob and Bella are shhooooooooo cyyyyuuuuuuuuuuute together! *sob*
And Taylor Lautner is the super hottiest chunk of love I've ever seen! MWAH!
Oh, supper time.
Bye.

xoxo~&hearts~

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Papa...paparazzi....
I'm at da boba teahouse! <3
Cause of my lovely score on da geo test! Mwah!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

for once, not emo

I'm trying to look up cell reproduction and growth and simultaneously look at pictures of celebrities wearing hideous outfits so I can laugh, but Dad is hovering and skulking in the background, perhaps because he thinks Lindsay Lohan is hot, but more likely to piss me off. He does it well, I cannot fault him for that.
Oh well. Just one more week until Thanksgiving vacation! And then I get a whole week off! I'm so happy. No homework! Although, in the grand tradition of the honor's classes, there probably will be.
Yesterday, I went to the football game. It was sooooo fun! I went with Crystal, and then we met up with Jade and my entire lunch crew. (But I mostly stayed with Crystal.) We had to leave early, but who cares? We still got to see those lovely football players in their lusciously tight pants! Very delightful. *sigh* I ate way too much though. I'm still feeling bloated. Everything I eat tastes like fat! Oh well. Tis a small price to pay. I just won't eat much this week.
Everyone else is playing poker and they want me to as well. But I do not. So there.
YEEEEEEEEKKKKKKSSSSS Kitty just put this giant rubber bug on the table in front of me! Meanie!
Oh NO!! From the master bedroom... where our parents were taking a nap.... Kitty reports she heard emanating a loud and lusty "OWWWWWWW!!!!" and then MOANING! Aren't they too OLD for that? Dad is effing FORTY NINE! And Mom is forty FIVE! EVIL! It's EVIL! As well as disgusting! What could have possessed them to.... Hmmm, maybe it's some sort of thing that happens when you're married. Whenever you go near a bed, you feel a sudden and intense urge to do it IMMEDIATELY, and being adults and having had their brains completely saturated with alcohol and trippiness in college, they have no self control and happily succumb. That could explain the rising birthrate in the USA...
Scratch USA. Make that everywhere.
I don't think I ever want to get married. I want to be one of those ageless vixens who so captivate all the men, matrimonially linked or otherwise. It could be fun to toy with their hearts, don't you think? I intend to have many boyfriends though. Preferably simultaneously. Heck, why don't I start now? It could be easy. With my sex appeal, I could have them crawling on hands and knees, in preparation for a strange backwards doggie-style in no time! Time to make a plan.
Let's see... A lot of guys from orchestra seem like total nerds, so they might not have girlfriends. So I could confess. (All my friends in p.e and I were practicing that because it was raining so we didn't have to do anything. Now I'm pretty good at it.) And also, I think I might be able to hook Jason. Yesterday, when we had that speaker in the auditorium, he was all holding my hand and stuff. And he said he used to like me. Also, I may be able to get a very shy and awkward guy from Spanish. He goes to my church, and seemed uncommonly delighted when I made allusion to this fact. (His "nice-to-meet-you" bespoke more "I-should-love-to-meet-every-part-of-your-anatomy" then the typical courteous greeting.) Who else, who else? Someone at church, maybe? Although that could be harder, because of Mom's constant eye upon me. But still. I could go for KiKi's bro, but somehow I doubt their family approves of dating, and he's as silent as a courtroom after a death sentence. Also, it might be kind of awkward, KiKi being my buddy and all. And, the most important thing, I don't really want him to give me my first kiss. I mean, kissing that guy has gotta be like licking a frozen flagpole in February in Kansas. I want someone with a little more experience.... and if he's hot, I wouldn't complain. But Mark.... DAMMIT, BRAIN, SHUT UP! I wonder if he's kissed his newfound love yet. His newfound love who's a junior. SHIT! My brain is a closet masochist. It likes to abuse itself, and me, as much as humanly (or should I say "brainly") possible.
I want to get a boba today. I mean, I did get a perfect score on my math quiz yesterday! YEAH! I forgot to tell you! I GOT EM ALL RIGHT! ALL OF THEM BABY! WAY TO GET BACK ON THAT CATWALK! WOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!! NYAHA!!
*Ahem*. Anyway.
I think I really should get a boba. I mean, not only did I do that, I put up with those stinkin tall students for the CKC gig in Chapel (And they don't sound beautiful when singing! Believe me!) (And I hate how petite they make me look! Eeesh!) I also put up with the plastic preps whom I have to endure sitting behind EVERY DAY in English! And their fashion sense is so awful I would expire from it immediately (If their shitsucker preppiness didn't get me first), only then I wouldn't get to gaze at the hot guy across the room anymore. It's that bad. I MEAN IT.
So I think I deserve a boba.

xoxo~♥~

Saturday, November 7, 2009

life sucks. hopefully, then you die.

i saw... a 3some. they were on the ground in a big white sleeping bag. half unzipped. mommy said...... as she walked past.. oh my. turns head.
did you SEE A DICK!
4tunatly not.
u mean UNfortunately! was it three guys???
1 guy 2 galz
how does that WORK!
special equipment.
AH.


Hi...
Ugh, why is life like a disgusting ickypoo pile of poop? If I hadn't been born, I wouldn't be sad.
... But then again I wouldn't be happy either, so maybe one can argue both ways.
I really very much dislike my life and I would be happy to have no life. Wait, I already have no life. Bwahaha. That is so funny, I can't, uh....
Oh, forget it. Ya know what? I should like to die.
And I'm serious this time.
I don't care about anything.
Nothing.
And no one cares about me.
Sheesh, that was a pretty selfish and emo thing to say.
Oh, dammit, I have a lot of homework and a test to correct and Safari is spacing out and I HATE MY LIFE!
It's not because of school. I'd be even more depressed homeschooled.
Oh well.
Gotta go do ho-work.
See you later.

xoxo~♥~

Monday, November 2, 2009

I would say that I'm going crazy, only I can't actually feel anything at all. I'm completely numb. In fact, if someone told me I was fat, I would just nod solemnly and continue on with whatever I had been doing. If someone offered me to go see Evanescence in concert with Crystal and Jade, free, and with Taylor Lautner serving us free food afterwards, all I would do would be to say, "Yay, let's go." With no exclamation point.
Because? Mark has a girlfriend. (He said so) And it's not me. (No explanation needed)
When I first found out, it was like I was actually in pain. I thought I was going to die. And then I didn't feel anything at all, and I still don't. I wonder what's wrong with me.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

yong xue is my new name.

It means Eternal Snow. 永 雪。
This family is reeeeeeeeeeeeally starting to be pissing me off! Dang it, shut UP already! Dad has deemed it necessary to check my data notebook for gay-o, and now he is making comments derogatory to my intellect and general talent in the way of writing up labs. Plus, he is now considering asking the teacher why the hell his little girl isn't making straight A's in the class. I'm sure you can imagine why this might not be a lovelylicious idea. Can you not? Yes, I'm glad you have such good empathy.
But, now that you mention it, why the hell AREN'T I making straight A's in the class? It's not like it's a hard class. Ok, yes, it is. But does that matter? Most people can do it! Most people, however, are also smart. Or at least smarter than I am. But let us not delude ourselves that... uh....
Whatever.
I utterly hate my life right now. Utterly. It's like a meaningless black hole that I'm continuously sinking into. I might stop or slow down sometimes, but that's not enough, so I just keep on goin'. I hate to sound emo and selfish, but, dear me, what is this blog, if not a place to BE emo and selfish? It seems it would just be a page of meaningless pratings. And who would like to look at that? (Hopefully, no one would like to look at this either, but that is besides the point.)
Life is like an empty chocolate box- you think it's going to be full of diverting surprises and sweet things, but when you take a look, the only things it contains are dust, disappointment, and emptiness. (And maybe a few empty wrappers.) It's a funny thing, life. It's so short, and yet when you think about it, it's way too long. Why are we alive? Why are we here? What is our purpose on the earth? And how come some people's purpose appears to be to annoy the living daylights out of me? It is indeed a mystery. Maybe I should become a philosopher and figure these things out. It would at least be an easy A. Think of it! For your term paper, all you need to do is justify your opinion with whatever made-up crap you care to think of! Easy. Dad would probably be excellent at it.
Why am I still here when lots of more deserving people are dead or unhappy? So many good and kind people are six feet under, while I, the most selfish bitch on the planet, am enjoying anything life (or even my family) cares to throw my way. It's not right. It's not fair. I definitely should do something about it.
...Yeah, so I'm going to punish myself for being alive. Is that a problem? Does it make your little heart feel bad? Well, too bad. I'm not going to be anyone's little doll anymore. And I'm not going to get in anyone's way anymore.
Mark started talking to me on Sabbath like nothing was wrong. I was so astounded that all I could do was insult him vehemently with almost every sentence that came from between my lovely and glossy lips. He didn't appear to care either. Why should he? His girlfriend is a freaking JUNIOR! She's probably a tomboy too. AND has all A's on her report card. And doesn't eat like a caveman who just got done with whipping a horned wooly mammoth to death in his underwear. In 40 degree weather. Who hasn't eaten in five days. And who was previously watching America's Got Talent cooking division. (Is there such a thing?) But anyhow, she's probably completely perfect. Why me? Why is life so sucky? Why is it like a dark hole of blackness that just won't get any better?
And why am I not bleeding so much now? On Friday, I had to scrape that darn safety pin back and forth like 20 times before even a little blood started showing through my surprisingly thick epidermis! Grrr.....
Oh! Maybe that mysterious "Eppi" in my class is actually named "Epidermis"! I never thought of that before! Oh! Now I understand! I see why he didn't want to tell us his name! (Well, would you, if your name were Epidermis? His parents must be raving psychopaths.)
I went trick-or-treating yesterday, Now I'm gonna be fat.
Not that I'm not already.
Oh well. I need to go. Dad wants to have the computer so he can watch some screwball video, ner mind I was doing homework. Well, see you!
If I don't kill myself first.
Just kidding.
I think.

xoxo~♥~

Thursday, October 29, 2009

...

For some reason, I have no real close friends. I do not wish to sound self pitying, but it is the truth. All the people I used to be so close to and who I still eat lunch with every day are now kind of ignoring me. Not on purpose, of course, it's just that I'm so much an outsider into their little world that they would really rather not interact with me if they can help it. It's really not their fault. They're great people, and I love 'em to a state of vegetative consciousness, but it's just not really fun to be hanging around like a stupid idiot trying to fill gaps in a conversation that doesn't pertain to you in the least. Maybe I should read more. That certainly would help clue me in on at least half the topics covered. (The other half being movies) All I really wanna do is talk about normal girly things like guys and who said what about who, but noooooo, we have to have a half-hour long discourse on Harry Potter and how hot-or-not Hogwarts is! (What the heck is Hogwarts anyhow??? I sort of had the impression it was the wizard/witch academy, but now I'm not too sure.) The discussions would be longer, but we only get a half-hour for lunch. I dislike being left out. That is to say, I SEVERELY dislike being left out. Nowadays, Bonnie and I are the ones who talk the most, or else me and Allie, but she also likes to go wander around and talk to other people. I like to do that too, but it's dangerous, because while I do have people I can talk to over where she likes to go (and spy on her current crush!) I don't really know them well, so that I can never be sure wether I'll have fun or not. A lot of my other friends congregate there too, but I don't talk to them there. And I dislike being awkward soooo much that I'm scared to go over there now. DAMMIT! What's wrong with me?!?! What happened to the girl who didn't give a shit what happened to her? When did I turn into this awful person? And why? I think I'm even more messed up than when I didn't have a psychologist. (Or maybe not. I was pretty screwed up then too....) Ok, I admit it! I AM SCARED! Happy now?! I'm so scared! I'm terrified! I don't want to DIE! Not that it's really dying per say, but it's a social death. I don't want to be....
I don't even know what I don't want to be. I'm scared and I don't know what of! I can't calm down either! Everything seems so hopeless! It's like a dark tunnel. A reeeeeeaaaaaallly long dark tunnel. And then at the end? A funeral procession. Or a train. Or maybe even a drooling pervert with open arms and a massive erection. Whichever one you find most horrifying. But no matter what your doom is, it's still a doom! And I'M FUCKIN DOOMED WETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT!!! (And you sure as shit better believe I don't!)
I feel like such a loser no matter what I do. If I'm eating, I feel utterly disgusting. If I'm not eating, I feel slightly better, but also like a wannabe anorexic. When I'm doing anything fun, I feel like a failure, and when I'm doing anything useful, I feel like a nerd. So I can't fucking win! It's not fair. Why does life have to be like this? You just grow up expecting sunshine and rainbows (Ok maybe not the rainbows part, if you know what I mean) and instead you get heavy fog and acid rain with a pH of below zero. (That actually might be cool, though! The rain part, not the pH of below 0, that is) But you get my point! The only thing that's ever sure is that you'll die. And also that you'll have too many crappy days before that. So wouldn't it be better just to end it while you can instead of dragging out the unpleasantness longer? It's quicker. And more painless. And better for the world. Honestly, and let's not be deluded here and say that I'm wrong cause I KNOW I'm not, who wants an ugly fat girl? No one. And if that ugly fat girl has no talents and is bad at conceivably everything except maybe getting on people's nerves? Then REALLY just die already! I hate my life. I really do. Cutting isn't enough... I should end it.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

i feel like cruddddddddddddd.....

I'm sick. Really. It was not just a (successful!) attempt to stay home from Chinese school, I really am sick. I think it's swine flu. Honestly, I feel so effin' bad it's not even hilariouso! I dunno.... No one's here.... I think I'mma eat a piece of bread and strawberry jam. I'm STARVING, which I dk why I should be cause I had fuggin' SUPPER yesterday, but whatever. Maybe it's a groth spurt.
It's so annoying that every single person in the world thinks I should eat all the time. Don't they understand that it feels GOOD to be hungry?? It's like what monks do, and see how wise and illustrious monks are? I met a monk or two in Korea. I should know!
Gah. I really do not feel very good. I feel all tired and draggy. Do I really have to go to dorkestra today? Although I have not yet seen evidence of any really gay people. That may be because we've only been there three weeks. I was concertmaster last time. So it'll be embarassing to be in the back! But actually not really cause I really don't care about orchestra. Not one whitle bit.
Ugggghhhhh what the biscuit I just sat around on the other computer reading Twilight Fan Fiction for awhile! I'm so mean. Fan Fiction cracks me up no matter how serious it is. Nyu.
UGHHHHHH STUPID F'N BUTT-FACE NOW I CAN'T THINK ABOUT INSTANT NOODLES ANYMORE WITHOUT WANTING TO THROW UP STUPID BUTT-FACE! SHIT! I wouldn't say I dislike him, but....
....I do not like him.
Not at all.
And the same goes for his lying, cheating, stupid, ugly, perverted, obnoxious, loudmouthed, awkward, insulting, clingy bff who is PROBABLY also his bf, as they call each other "love" and "darling" and end every phone call with "love you". Plus, they just look gay! But I will tell you who is SO NOT like that! It's Le Korean Hottie! Ever since I saw him, I knew..... He's the hottest guy everrrrrrr! I'm sure he has a HUGE one! And he has at least ten badass friends who hang around him and shower everyone with their utter and complete HOTNESSS! KYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I am sooooooo in loovvvvvvvvvveeeeeee! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ I intend to write him a LOVE LETTER! What should I say? Should I go for the sweet and innocent "Ever since I saw you, I thought you were perfect" or something like that? Or be all dramatic and say "I cannot live without you, my darling! My love!" Or whateverrrrrrr.......
Man, I'm acting like a deranged fangirl, all because I'm sick and don't even know my own mind! I bet that if I read this in two weeks I won't remember writing a single thing! It's good that it's the weekend. If I were in school, this would be le problemo.
Hey, where the eff are they? Chinese school ended at 12! What the heck is going ONNNNNNN???????
Oh. They;re back.
Bye.

xoxoxo~♥~

Thursday, October 15, 2009

frug is a mix between fug and freaking

Hello, my loves....
Today, we had earthquake drill. Stinkin' teacher put me in charge cause he was off doing the Search And Rescue Team (Gosh, that sounds wrong!). (And who'd wanna be rescued by HIM I wanna know! But that's the way things are. Maybe he got bribed into it. Or maybe he's involved in a scandal! I've often thought he and Mr. Ass were together. Since the school policies include no dating teachers if you're a teacher (presumably students can't date teachers either, but that has never been an issue as far as I know), it would be STRICTLY FORBIDDEN! So of course someone must know about it and is holding it over their head. But! They refuse to relinquish their undying love! How inspiring. Sort of.) Anyways, where was I? Oh yes. So then SOMEONE started making snide remarks about how if this were a real earthquake, it would be nothing short of a level fifty million emergency to have the ditziest student in charge, and how we'd probably be all dead by now if it were up to me. And I'd thought we were all over that by now. *Sigh*
Oh yeah! The Asshole (As Allie has taken to calling JK) came over to where we were eating lunch today! We looked at him, gasped in horror, and than turned away and would have nothing more to do with him. (Except Allie, who asked why he broke up with me. Apparently, it was "awkward". Well, I should think it was! Other than the fact that I had to completely hide his existence from anyone who could possibly know my parents, there was the little matter that he happened to be cheating on me with two other girls? Hmmm? Is that not just the smidgiest teeniest bit awkward? Yes, I quite think so as well.)
I have a geometry quiz tomorrow. BLEH. I f'n HATE quizzes! (And tests, but those fall into the same category) I always do really badly! Oh yeah. I have a Spanish quiz too. But that is SO DROP DEAD easy I could ace it without ever have been setting foot into the classroom. (Hmm, that sentence seems off somehow...) Seriously, it's that easy. I should have taken Spanish II.
GAH I have to go. They are due home any minute and if they find me un-studyful, I shall soon be un-happyfull. I shall see you anon.
xoxoxo~♥~

Sunday, October 11, 2009

My travels of the world (or at least Redlands)

Hola! It's been a durn long time since I wrote (AGAIN)
Since my last update, I have...
• Been dumped
• Started cutting (for serious now, instead of the little minor things I did after SOMEone *coughMarkcough* broke my heart)
• Failed a class
• Raised my grade in the selfsame class
• Been asked out by the ICKIEST jerk in the world
• Started orchestra
• Started Chinese school
• Gotten an "eating disorder" (which is not really an eating disorder at all)
• Started seeing a psychologist
• Had my music deleted off my iPod and iTunes by Le Evil Destroyer Of Anything Good, i.e my dad (he didn't ask, either! Sheesh!)
• Been SO ANNOYED by my parents and SO DEPRESSED that I seriously considered suicide
• Had my best friend move somewhere where I don't know where and if it's too far away I'll DIE
• Umm.... I canna think of more now. Let us bear with grace and dignity all that is.
SO YEAH THE STINKIN JERK DUMPED ME FOR NO REASON!!!!
Or, actually, no, he had a very good reason. It just is not a socially acceptable reason, or even yet acceptable by unsociable people. Ah, I see your look of confusion. Let me elaborate. Well, it turns out sweet, sensitive, kind, gentlemanly JK was cheating on me with not one, but two girls who may or may not have known about me. Soooooo..... I'm better off alone. I know it. And may I be frank? Yes, I may. He was kind of a pain. In le butt, ya know. Totally. He SO was. And he didn't know about Evanescence. So there.
La la. I couldn't care less. Cause I still am SO in love with Mark that's in NOT EVEN FUNNY. And he doesn't like me, which is also not even funny, but for entirely different reasons.
Such as that it's HIS fault I cut myself every darn day!!! And it's HIS fault that I'm sooo fat! Cause I used ta overeat from sadness, like. And it's his fault that every time I see a curly haired guy I flip out, freak out, pig out, and cut. HIS FAULT! IT'S ALL HIS FAULT! That mothertruckin bear-huggin dickpad who is more hateable than Michael Savage, yet is also more loveable than Taylor Lautner. (Ok, not Taylor Lautner. Maybe Zac Efron) It's ALL his fault cause I frickin DESPISE him! I also adore him. What the eff is wrong wit me? EH? I got no sense. And if he ever discovered this blog, he would quickly become alarmed at the stalkerishness of which it is formed. Such as that it is. (Did that even make sense)
I went to Andrea's party yesterday. It was sooooo fun! Our whole lunch group was there. (Ivy, Allie, me, Bonnie, and Ella and NOT Kay!!!) (Ok, his is offtopic and possibly quite cruel, but WHY THE HECK IS HE NAMED KAY???????? That's a GIRL'S name and unless he WANTS to sound more unmasculine that he already DOES he should consider changing it to something less effeminate!!!) (Now I'm all wound up! GRRR! Not only is it a girl's name, it's a frickin OLD FASHIONED girl's name! It's redolent of crocheted lace, parasoles, and granny squares! He should change it to KAI!!!! I love that name. It sounds so awesome.) (Although, I really, really hate to say this, but Kay is a little, um, weird sometimes. Only a little. And only sometimes at that. But still.... Allie said so too)
Anyway, I need to go cause I gotta leave for Le Horrid Orchestra in an hour and I have gay-o vocab words to write. So bye!


Postscript: No offense is made to gay people. It is merely a lovely and clever substitute for bio. For bio is bi. And bi is gay. So um... where was I going with this? Well, no offense, anyway.
xoxoxo~♥~

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

FML

Gah.
I have been dumped.
No, really.
In six short words... my life was changed forever....
"Let's just be friends for now."
I will always remember this day.
It has been one of the worst days of my life.
Unhelped by the fact that Jason has apparently found a girlfriend. Why the eff am I so jealous? I don't like him, truly I don't. And I know that's what I have said about all my crushes, but in this case, it's actually true. He's butt-ugly for one thing. And... well, I don't know. It is nice to have a guy as my talking buddy for once. Like, we can both sit there and make sex jokes all the time. It warms my heart. And though he is a bit of a perv, it's hilarious. I also like the fact that he's a commited Christian and proud of it, yet still likes dirty talk and Metallica. (The fact that he likes Metallica, though? Bourgeiose.) Anyhow....
I can't see why JK broke up with me! He was acting perfectly normal yesterday when we were hanging out and walking all over town together. And he said before that he'd "never break up with me". Truly. I quote. And now! ARGH! I hope that SOMEONE kicks his butt! Halfway across the globe! ><
Now, though, I can pursue Mark...
Nooooo.... don't think of Mark.... GONNA CRY!
Speaking of which, when I came home from my (crappy) violin lesson, I changed into black all over, applied bright red lipstick, went into an almost pitch black room, and started cutting. Then, when I came out, I lay down on the sofa, hugging a giant teddy bear, and started bawling my eyes out. That's how terrible life is.
Then, I lifted 40 bucks from my dad and went shopping by myself. I got cake, cupcakes, ice cream, whipped cream, a sandwich, and boba. So it was a little expensive. But who cares? Let's remember my heart is broken now! Oh yeah, I get to stay home from CKC-Muzak cause I have my psychologists appointment later tonight, and I have to get my homework done. Actually, I have kind of a lot. But who cares?
Oh yeah! Allie put most of the videos we took at lunch on Youtube. I look fine in one, and HORRIBLE in the other ones. She also made one entitled "Jasmine's Scream" which is me screaming when someone popped a lunchbag (which they do every day, just to scare me) Any how...
I should go do homework. I don't want to, though.
But first, let me think of all the FML's I can.
We're playing football in P.E. FML
One of my friends (sort of friend) had some sort of nervous breakdown or something and I don't know what happened or what I can do for her. FML
My violin teacher wants to fire me but is too polite to do so. FML
My boyfriend dumped me for no reason. FML
Mark hates me. FML
Crystal can't go to homecoming with me. FML
I can't go to homecoming with me. FML
I look awful on camera. FML
I'm failing biology, and I have a C+ in Geometry. FML
Ok, I think that's it. Bye! Love you!
FML
xoxoxo~♥~

Monday, September 28, 2009

it's a love story

Health is now un-fun because my cruel teacher changed the seating chart so I'm not sitting next to Billy, Nick, Jason, or Ella anymore! To be fair, I'm also not sitting in front of the el disgusto snorting, lip-smacking, mouthy, constantly-cold-having senior anymore either, but still! That pales in comparison to my misery now! Ostensibly, she changed us because she "wanted a change", but I know the truth- it's actually a government experiment conducted by The Fed to see how miserable kids can be and still be considered Healthy. Or maybe it's because we were "disturbing the class". I honestly don't see how. We only played Truth Or Dare like five times. But heark! (is that how you spell it?) I have found, lo and behold, that if I sit up straight and look out the window, I can see

SMOKIN HOT SEXY GUYS WITH NO SHIRTS ON!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

KYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh. Butternuts. That was supposed to be hot pink. Oh well. Maybe someday, my love...
Anyhow, yaaaaaaaahhhhh bananaaaaaaaaaa! (guess WHO'S banana!?!?) (Ok, sorry, that was immature and childish. It is in poor taste and extremely unladylike to make dick jokes. I am sorry. But it is also funny. So there.)
What was I sayin'? Oh yeah! Smokin hot sexy guys with no shirts on! KYAH! They were absolutely gorgelicious! I almost passed out from the yummy factor right there in Health! Fwaaaaaaahhh.....
What elsssse happened today, my fair feathered friends? Welll.... let's see, I finally learned JK's childhood friend's name! (The one he is SO gonna hook up with after we break up, or at least he better) I felt sooooo bad cause we were introduced, and then she remembered my name, and I couldn't remember hers! I felt like a tonna CRUD! So I asked JK. Easy peasy! And her name, btw, is Taylor. Like Taylor Swift. Therefore furthering my conviction that they MUST get together after I, le wicked girlfriend, have Moved On To Other Things. Oh, speaking of which! I saw this GORGEOUSO guy today! He was absolutely TO DRINK BOBA for! So naturally, I gave him my best Alluring Sexcat Smile, garunteed to melt the hearts of anyone, and flipped my lovely shiny hair. But, for some reason, he didn't respond. I wonder why? Was it that I wasn't his type? Or that he was probably a sophomore and didn't take flirts from insignificant little freshman? Or that I happened to be holding hands with JK? Or maybe he just was having a bad day. That could be it. I'm sure it really wasn't me.
Nyu! I had a brainwave while I was walking to geometry. I thought I saw either Jannelle or TiTi walking around, but I didn't know which one it was. So, I decided that I would just ask em! I felt like a genius en le extremente! La, child! Thou hasest Le Brainne Bigge! (Guess what ELSE is big??) So tomorrow, that I shall do.
In English, I started a new manga. It's a wonderful storyline, really. It centers around an emo and depressed girl who's anorexic, cuts, hates herself, uses drugs, and dies at the end. It's gonna be sooooo great! I totally can't wait! Does that say something about me? Well, no, honey, it doesn't! Random people seem to think that just because I happen to cut my wrists and dislike eating that I have depression. I wonder why? And honestly? Being depressed is soooo bourgeoise. I'd rather be, like, ya know, double personalitied or something. Something more interesting anyhow.
Oh yeah! Yuka, one of our guinea pigs had babies! They're so CUTE! And one of them looks EXACTLY like Panda, my piggy who died recently! I can't belieeeeeeve it! KYAH! I wanna go play with them now, and I also have to study, and I really need a nap, a shower, and a pedicure, so I g2g.
VOICE LESSON TODAYYYYYYYYYY!
xoxoxo~♥~

Saturday, September 26, 2009

i just woke up. poor me. =.=

Darling, I feel has been too long since we last spoke! Twas been yeas and years! Or at least it doth seem like that to mine heart.
Anyway.
La la la.
I feel the pressure. Tis getting closer now.
Hmm... the problem with pressure is that it is sabbath. This may not seem like a problem, but it actually is. It is a conundrum of the most pressing kind. It is this: If it is sabbath, I do not have to do homework. But if it is sabbath, I also do not get to engage in any pursuits that are lovely to me. Such as singing. And drinking boba. And.... walking around tagging the neighborhood with my Super Special Secret Tag. Although it being sabbath does not usually restrain me from the last one.
Le bf seemed rather impressed at my mucho wonderfulissiomo tagging skills. I think this was because I didn't tell him that my tag stands for FuckUEffingReTardedpEnis. Which, if you put spaces in, reads, Fuck U Effing ReTarded pEnis. Or FUERTE. Whichever suits your fancy.
Wherever! Whenever! We're meant to be together, I'll be there and you'll be near! And that's the deal my dear!
Man.
I miss the summer.
I miss the summer.... a world of fragile things... Look for me at the boba teahouse, hiding in a, uh, hollow... uh... tree... or something.... The last part is un poco hard to orchestrate.
Anyways...... I shall now expound upon the moral depravity of myself.
I am obviously the slut in my group of friends. I also am known as "the blond Asian", by Mark, and by everyone else. Tis not my fault. Tis the fault of the architecture. IF THEY DIDN"T PUT THE FRICKIN POLES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SIDEWALK I WOULDN"T CRASH INTO THEM PRACTICALLY EVERYDAY! AND I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU PEOPLE WHO MADE THE STAIRS TO THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT SO DURNED STEEP! YEAH, YOU! I'M TALKIN TO YA! FIX IT NOW OR I'LL SUE YA!! OOH! WHAT NOW!
Anyway. After having given my keyboard a cough drop from all that yelling, may we get back to the issue at hand? It is not my fault that I have been so kindly labeled a slut. It is the fault of Mark. He is indeed a heartbreaker.
Heartbreaker! Love taker! Dream maker! Dontcha mess around wit meeeee!
Dude, that was so EASY! Kitty walked over, messily and disgustingly chewing something. "Please leave," said I. So, with no further ado, and no words, she turned around and left. I was mucho relieved. And surprised. Does that often happen in yo world? Not once in a blue balls! I mean blue moon! Sorry, Freudian slip. *Eheh.*
Wait, does that imply that I myself have blue balls? I hope it does not. For I am not a man. And if I were a man, I would be gay. And that would be shameful to my dad and to half the world at large. Because we seem to have a sad lack of acceptance in this world. (Or at least half of it)
Oh! Did I tell you I'm going to have a psychology appointment next Wendsday? (Maybe I should discuss with said psychologist how it seems to be outside my parade of talents to be able to spell Wednesday.) (Oh, there we go. Woo. Karma.) Anyhow, what was I sayin? Oh yeah. Gotta psychology appointment. I wonder if I'll show up in the book she's writing! Got no choice. Must be interesting enough to be able to show up in it. Muwahaha. At this sphere, I am queen.
Hey, it's sunset! I'm gonna go bug my mom for money. So I can get a boba. (And I don't wanna use my own money.)
Bye!

xoxoxo~♥~

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

of mice, men, and boyfriends

Gosh, it's been sooooo long since I updated! I've wanted to, of course, but I'm always super busy! And now I sound like a moron. Not only a mororn, but a blond moron. Which is probably worse.
Anyhow, I left off at.... let's see, I had just started school. Or I was about to. Whatever. I started it, and I've been going for a month, and it's AWESOMEEEEEEE! I know, I really set myself up for horrible failiure, disappointment, anger, emoliciousness, and possible dismemberment, but it's really not all that bad. Except for biology. Which is the plague upon humankind. But that's another story for another day....
Let us instead dish the more juicy details, such as....
I STARTED SINGING LESSONSSSSSSSSSS! And now I g2g. Actually....
Let's see, a whole bunch of people are spreading nasty rumors about me? I don't care though. I really don't. Call me weird, but I'm happy just to be talked about. It could be the low self-esteem my health teacher talks about 24/7, or maybe it's just that I'm actually a fame-whore at heart. One never knows. But let us begin to review the wonderful rumors that have been centered around our lovely heroine.
I am apparently...
1. a slut
2. a bitch
3. a prep
4. a lesbian
5. a mantrap (how these two work in relationship to each other, I'm not entirely sure, but they must have some kind of correllation...)
6. a cow
7. a pint-sized flirty little cow
8. a little skank
(why do they have to keep picking on my SIZE for goodness sakes!??)
9. a ho
annnnd, 10, a whore.
Isn't that lovely? Isn't that uplifting? Doesn't it make you want to just go over to the lovely people and give them a big hearty hug?
And fyi, I'm not gay. I have a boyfriend! And I'm the biggest flirt in the entire class! SHEESH!
Oh, that's right! I forgot to tell you didn't I.... (sheesh now I'm talking like you're a person...) I HAVE A BOYFRIENDDDDDDDD!!! <3 <3 <3 (I'm at the library so html doesn't work) Yup, me! I gotta boyfriend.... (sung to the tune of I Gotta Feeling) (Actually, that would be quite a dirty song! My word!) Ok, I know I'm acting like a geek, but I honestly can't believe it. I caaaaan't belieeeeeve itttttttt..... Oooh, I can't believe it! Ooh he's all on me... Ooh ooh I think he wants me.... la la la.... Tee hee hee! Look who has the last laugh NOW, Mark, my dear! I have da man, and you're still single! Although, I guess in his case, it would be the girl. For he seems to be straight. Or at least I think he is. He has enough girls fawning over him, at least.
Ok, I have a terrible confession. I might have a boyfriend, but I'm still in love with Mark, and neither of these two facts do anything to stop me from flirting with any male specimen that comes across my path. I am indeed "terrible" as Melody says. But can I help it???!!!!! I am just a playa in the game of life! I am just a hustler in the cattle ranch of love! I am just a.... um.... well, something! And ya betta believe it! HOWCHAAAAAAA!
Anyhow, back to my bf. It's a bit of a dilemma, because he's the one guy my mom told me explicitly NOT to date. Cause, see, there's the little matter of his junior gang? Or else, if not that, the fact that schizophrenia runs in his family? Orrrrrr that he used to be homeless? All of these little issues may not seem very large to you, but some moms have a way of exaggerating things that otherwise would not be a problem. Besides, I like him. So there.
Oh yeah! He's JK from CKC-Muzak! Tee hee. I always thought he was cute. I guess it is sort of weird to be dating a student, but come on, he wasn't my student. And... well.... it just sort of happened.... our friends helped very much to get us together. Now I have to go do homework, or rather fix it, because apparently I made another dumbass error. And also my session will end in ten minutes. Because I'm under eighteen and I can't use the real computers with unlimited time limits and grrrrrrrrrrrrr this is so f'n annoying! Oh well. I shall talk to you later. It has been too long! *airkiss*

xoxoxo~<3~

Sunday, September 6, 2009

GASP!

Purple CRUDDDDDDDD! I'm at the TV studioooooo! On NBC LIVEEEEEEEEE! On Sunday LA! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Friday, August 7, 2009

i have been disoriented.

Hola. I'm finally writing, even though I set up this page like on Friday. I'm too lazy. Oh well....
So I went to orientation on Friday. It was awful. First, I got dropped off, completely by myself, to find the orientation. Naturally, I got lost. So, when I'd finally found the gym, after several minutes of wandering around, I was late and had to go in practically by myself. Little did I know that I'd have to run through a gauntlet of practically all the seniors and most of the juniors, high fiving them, in front of practically the entire school. "Gosh, this could be really bad," I thought. Ok, maybe I said it. And added a few choice expletives. But that really was no excuse for the icy glare I got from the senior standing by the exit, or the shove they gave me to send me inside! I have my rights, freedom of speech, being near the top of the list!
So after I'd run in, almost tripping on everyone's feet, I looked over at the packed bleachers, hoping for a cue. Then I saw him-Peaceful Cheese, waving, and grinning broadly. I almost ran over to give him a big sloppy kiss right then and there. Seeing someone I knew... *blissful expression* I thought, "Ok! I can do this!"
I'm not usually wrong (actually, yes, I am), but in this case, I sadly was. I sat down next to an alt girl, complete with ripped leggings and a ring on almost every finger, and smiled confidently, still on a Cheese-induced high. She smiled back. "Ok! Go girl!" I thought. She was really nice, and even though we hardly talked, she was my first friend of sorts. Then, unfortunately, the obnoxiously perky leader made us all go down to the floor and engage in embarrassing ice breaker excersises. I almost died right then and there, only it would be very unhygienic. So I just kept doing Simon Says, and Who's The Shortest and all that other crud. (Fine, since you were wondering so much, out of almost 500 kids, I'm the sixth shortest. Ok? Sheesh! ><)
Then, we split up into even smaller groups, and went to our Link Leaders. Mine were nice, even if they were old. (A senior and a junior. Very scary.) There were six other kids in my group, two plastics, one wannabe gangsta, one short dude, one homeschool-hater, and one shy person. Actually, everyone was fairly nice, except that the plastics didn't talk to me at all, or at least hardly any, and the wannabe gangsta was disturbingly like Jack, which kind of freaked me out. Except for that, though.... The homeschool hater knows Kitty's friend from church, and apparently they were talking about me over the phone. Oh my. I am indeed One To Watch. The shy girl was really nice, and talked to me the most. She's also very scared of high school, and professed the idea that she'd like to run away. I also, would love to run away, only it could result in my placement in a foster home if I got caught. Although, I might not get caught. But I also might. There is no telling what could happen to me.
After that, we had a campus tour, and looked around. Then we went back to the gym. The teachers told us nothing about the actual workings of the school, but I am now very well informed on 5 things.
One. Time is actually money. Also, if you rip up a one dollar bill, everyone will automatically pat attention to you.
Two. One should strive to refrain from tripping over microphone wires, as the microphone will then go all weird and no one will be able to understand what the heck the teacher is talking about for the next two hours.
Three. You should bring your schedule everywhere.
Four. Pep rallies are the very worst places to be. They are a normal person's nightmare.
And, lastly, five. The teachers will steal your stuff if you leave it in the gym. Why they should do this is a complete mystrey to me, since I thought teachers were very noble and just. However, I guess even teachers need to earn money somehow! I wonder how much pawning pays?
They were playing I Gotta Feeling as I went in, which I thought was a nice touch, (It fit the moment very well for some reason) but then they switched to See You Again by Miley Cyrus. Honestly, I wonder if the sound person was having an aneurysm or something. Stranger things have happened. (Such as Him Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned)
Oh well. It sucked, but what can you say? They gave us candy...
Oh yeah! I never did get to meet Miss-I-Hate-Teen-Mentors-Of-Any-Kind (from CKC)'s friend! Oh well! Be that as it may. She was probably American.
Phone call!
It was Ms. Mary. She wanted us to go get bananas from her house. Seriously, we just got rid of the last batch... but I guess I can't complain. She has to do something with them after all.
Mom said we could go shopping for school supplies and clothes today. Should be fun! Now she's taking a nap though.
Oh, another phone call.
It was Mr Josh, our violin teacher. He also wants mom to call him back. Seriously, if anyone else calls.... nyah, Mom sure is popular!
Oh well. I should probably go finish my English. That's why I'm on here, after all. But I don't really want to.... actually, all I need to do is format it. That's easy peasy lemon squeezy chick-peasey. No problemo señor.


xoxoxo~♥~

Sunday, August 2, 2009

mark, you jerk. i hate you. i really do. actually, no, i love you.

Oh purple crud. I totallllllly hate this! Why should Facebook be blocked? All I wanna do is.... talk to Mark... Phooey on that. He still hates me and he probably always will. And the worst thing is, I don't even know what the ---- I did! (I'm at the library again, and I don't want them to block this site too, due to bad words) I'm terribly hurt. *makes hurt face*
But seriously, all jokings aside, it's a terrible experience. Even almost worse than Roman and C.C! I used to think I was so lucky to be in love with my best friend... (best guy friend anyways!) Honestly, sometimes it even makes me cry. And keeps me up half the night. And makes it so I can't concentrate on anything. Why do people have to fall in love anyway.... Jack has completely and totally ruined my life! I won't forgive him.... wait, I already did. Seriously, if you decapitated all my limbs with a blunt rusty chainsaw, all the while singing Celine Dion songs at the top of your lungs, I would probably forgive you and then invite you over to have milk and cookies with me. I suck! I can't bear a grudge against anyone and I'd rather die than hurt someone myself! I STINKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! Why can't I be more of a strong person? It's not for lack of trying.... Basically all I can do is be rude to people. It's all I can manage. (But, lemme tell ya, babycakes, I do it well!)
Yesterday, actually, ever since Mark-the-meanie dumped me, I've been sooooooooo sarcastic and mean that everyone is quite in awe of me. Especially my own parents, who are so astounded that sweet little Jasmine developed a backbone that all they can do is stand about with their mouths open and occasionally laugh at my pearls of wisdomliciousness. Very good, very good.
I let Kitty think it was because I'm preparing for high school.
BUT IT"S ACTUALLY BECAUSE THE BOY I LOVE HATES ME SO BAD HE CAN'T EVEN LOOK STRAIGHT AT ME FOR MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES!!!!!! > <
Crud, I may be about to cry. I must think about more pertinent and felicitous subjects.
Mom just walked by. I hope she didn't see all that about Mark. I'm pretty sure she and everyone else knows I like him, but it still wouldn't be good for her to see how upset I am about it.
No one will know. I will keep a face of iron and a heart of steel, hiding my suffering under such a beautiful and strong smile that no one will ever guess how broken my heart is underneath my mongo boobs and my Jassy-licious clothes. And, when finally I find Mr. Perfect, he will gently heal my broken and damaged heart as only the Mr. Perfect's of the world know how to do. (Mr. Perfect's are hard to find, but they are worth the looking!)
This screen is driving me crazy! It's so flickery I can't even look at it without going half blind. Probably all the crazy mean librarians are wondering why I'm lkooking arounbd the library while I'm typing. But if they got a problem with it, they should fix the stinkin moniter! Do they want their patrons to be able to see the books they offer or what? It's very bad for business.
I think I'll go check my email. Or rather, all four of my emails.
It would not do to get behind.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Ophelia LIVES!

I think I have successfully cured Kitty of her anorexia. Not to say it won't start up again, because it might, but for the time being, I have cured it. She's gotten much fatter. Not fat, per se, but more like healthy looking. And it's good. (Not bad. Shut up, you dick biscuit, you try being anorexic and see how you easy it is being "feminine".)
It's because I cook so much. Unfortunately, it's made me fat. How kind of me, how self sacrificing.... I'm throwing away my own beauty for someone else's.... I suppose I could just not eat what I cook, but please, what do I look like, a preppy barbie doll?
I'm also very proud of myself. I treated everyone to the rough side of my tongue. Screw treated, I'm still treating them!
And it's all Mark's fault.
Ok, not all his fault, but he did contribute quite a bit, the dear little boy.

Jasmine's Newsfeed:



Remove
Jasmine DISGUSTINGGGGGGGGG *throws up*



Jasmine found their crushes using Crush-Bot.

Crush-Bot predicted that these people had a crush on Jasmine:

#1. Mark - CrushBot's Best Prediction
#2. Jack - Highly likely to have a crush on you
#3. Zac - Good chance to have a crush on you

Yesterday at 7:53pm · Comment · Like

Mark what!!!!!!!
Yesterday at 8:02pm · Delete

Kitty oh.... ew.
Yesterday at 8:08pm · Delete

Mark i so do not have a cruch on your sis
Yesterday at 8:09pm · Delete

Kitty a cruch???
but its the zac part thats gross
Yesterday at 8:10pm · Delete

Mark lol thats what really really funnny\
Yesterday at 8:14pm · Delete

Kitty no its not funny!... more sort of twisted if you ask me
Yesterday at 8:18pm · Delete

Mark lol i know that was so funny about it XD
Yesterday at 8:19pm · Delete

Kitty ok... no offense, but thats kind of weird.
Yesterday at 8:21pm · Delete

Jack how the hell does that work?
Yesterday at 8:28pm · Delete

Mark lol thats what i said
Yesterday at 8:31pm · Delete

Jack isnt the last guy uhh.. related to you? lmao
Yesterday at 8:31pm · Delete

Mark it'her bro is the last 1
Yesterday at 8:32pm · Delete

Jack i really am laughin my ass off
Yesterday at 8:33pm · Delete

Jack im #2 lol
Yesterday at 8:33pm · Delete

Mark lol i was 2 when i saw who it said
Yesterday at 8:34pm · Delete

Jack hey, i used the crushbot and it said that jasmine was #1
Yesterday at 8:36pm · Delete

Jack i doubt it though lol
Yesterday at 8:36pm · Delete

Mark lol werid ya i'm thinking the same
Yesterday at 8:39pm · Delete

Justin lol....this crush-bot is G.E.N.I.U.S.
Yesterday at 11:44pm · Delete

Justin nvm......its retarded.... :/
Yesterday at 11:46pm · Delete

Mark lol
5 hours ago · Delete

So you see. He doesn't like me. And he thinks that... well, Iunno. I'm still hung up over the fact that he doesn't like me.
OK FINE I LOVE HIM WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT YOU FRIGGIN ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously.
Making that confession was sooooooooo embarassing. I only made it cause I was all steamed up and I STILL AM!!!!! SCREW YOU, MARK YOU JERK!!!! JERK! JERK! JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmmmph.
And I SO don't like Jack.
Dare I say I dislike him.
Dare I say I hate him.
No, I don't dare.
I don't hate anyone.
Although Mark's creepy friend comes pretty close.
MALDITAS DROGAS!!!!! WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH ME I ONLY ATTRACT PERVS!!!!! AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!! >< >< >< BOO!
Anyway.
What was I saying?
OH YEAH! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
And now to top it off, we have a friggin Misery Ensemble rehearsal at the Academy tonight! Iced crud crap! I am SO not going! Wait! If I alone stay home, I can do whatever I friggin want to! yeaaaaa dawggg thats fuckin hella greatt. get me some scene points cuntt! >:(
And I think I'll change my username to xXxUnending_Misery_And_PainxXx or maybe xxTHExTEARSxIxCRYxx or maybe even seexxmyxxscarsxx. Then TiTi, who is definitely scene, will read this and weep tears of pure and abject joy. "Another one come to us!" she will cry. "My love runs deep! I am weeping tears of pure and abject joy!" Then... well, of course I'll have to get a boyfriend from somewhere so that I can have an excuse not to go out with her. And he must be hot.
Why, oh why did I have to fall for stupid, ugly, cocky, annoying, know-it-all, wiseass, insulting Mark?! He hates me! This I know! And he never was jealous.
So, if we're just friends again, with no possibility of anything else, why am I so pissed off? That was what I wanted, wasn't it?
Although he's still not talking to me. Maybe I should get Jade to intervene, although I'm quite worried about what she might say. (And Kitty too.)
Oh well. Why the eff am I going on about this. I shalt keep mine pain hidden inside mine heart until it comes time to open up. Which will be saturday, because I can't wait to spill to Jade and Crystal when we go to the hospital!
And now...
A sample of my wittilicious tongue.
*sticks out tonuge*
Sorry, I can't remember anything particularly wittilicious that I've said recently. I did say it, however. I just merely forget.
Also, today, someone gave us a whole bunch of patio furniture. I'm not quite clear as to why they did this, but I gather it was because I gave them a cake a while ago. My my. They still remember?
I'm touched.
And now I think I'm going to go be touched somewhere else, because I'm very bored and I don't want to stay on the computer for five hours. Ja ne!

xoxoxo~♥~

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Sousei No Aquarion is such a cute song! ♥
La. I'm waiting for someone to pick me up to go to the CKC-Muzak field trippy. Ugh. I SO don't want to go! Bleh! But apparently, the girl who's about my age and who wears her hair in ponytails all the time now too, asked if I was going, and my kind mom told her yes. Actually, it's probably that her mom, who sometimes sells me Avon, wants to make another sale. But.... who cares. I'm flattered. And, yes, I'm rather simple. Bleh.
Oh my. SOmeone's trying to get into the house. Who can it be? I hope it's mom. Cause if it's the lady who was supposed to pick me up, that would be rather scary. I wonder... Now thay're not trying to get in any-

Saturday, July 25, 2009

bleh.

Ok, ok, I get it I get it, I know I'm updating waaaaaay too much, but what am I supposed to do when I'm so frickin bored? Bit my nails? Count crows? Cast Crowns? Bwahaha. I crack me up.
Anyway...
"someone" wants the computer. byeas!

Friday, July 24, 2009

poor me

Jai ho! >< I love that songgie!
Oh crud. I just realized. I have to start school in two weeks. I am going to die! (said in a Buffy-ish voice) (And yes, I only know what Buffy's voice sounds like because I was watching Buffy Summers Meets Edward Cullen on youtube. Pretty funny! Poor Edward. It's not easy being a 150 year old teenager.
Oh wellllll.... I'm just tryingto distract myself from the fact that now I have to go to school. I think I really am going to die. Or at least my heart will.... Somehow I have the feeling that as soon as I walk in the doors, I'll change in a completely weird way. Who knows what I will become, be it a prep, an emo, a jock, or a nerd, or maybe even The School Bitch, but whatever it is, that is what I will become. I know it full well. I willna even be able to help it. Twill happen to me against my will.
So now I have to take care of everything I need to do. For all general purposes, I'm about to die. I'm not even being dramatic, because from now on, I'm never going to be happy again. I know it. Because... for the rest of my mind, I'm going to be overworked, and underprivileged. I'm never going to meet any guys, I won't find any friends, I'll have to watch my weight and not eat any food at all. I'm going to turn into a commercial plastic sell out. I won't care about important things. Everybody's Fool will turn into my theme song, only I'm the one who has everyone fooled.It's all ending now... So from now on, I'm dead to the world. This isn't like the retreat or orchestra, where it can just end and be all done for the year. This is forever. (Ok, four years, but that's pretty much forever) What a great time for Mark to bail on me. Wish I could complain to him and be a bitch. Maybe that's why he ditched... or I could use Jack. Or how bout C.C and Roman! Aaahhhh! they'd be perfect!
I think I should get counselling. I should call.
I just want someone to spill to... and as long as I'm paying them to do it, they might as well give me advice too! Although, in all fairness, their advice would probably suck. They'd be an adult, after all, so they'd be terminally out of it. Not only are adults selfish and mean, they are actually really stupid as well. No, I don't mean stupid stupid, I just mean stupid stupid. If you know what I mean. Right? ANd they have no morals. And also... let's see... everything, or at least most things are their fault. When you see all these young criminals, it's because of their parents and everything. And also adults are evil. they have only everyone's worst interests at heart.
Oh crap, they're home.
Bye.
xoxo~♥~

Thursday, July 23, 2009

yayyyy! 100th post! ♫ ♥★

The Tragic Elegy
Today I'm going to write about
Jason's little son
He was special, so I'm picking
Him to be the one
It's very rare that little kids
Ever have these traits
But, as mentioned, he was good
He was really great
He was smart and he was strong
He was very brave
But unfortunately
His life he couldn't save
He looked up to his angry mom
He saw death in her eyes
So he tried to get away
Her betrayal was no surprise
Although she did this awful deed
Her mind she elevated
Sent her children both away
And the task she relegated
And so I end my tragic tale
Of his father's joy and pride
He could have been so much much more
But alas, he died

xoxo~♥~

Jasmine's Little List Of Attributes For The Perfect Man

❤ Hot
❤ Tall (taller than me at least)
❤ Wisecracker
❤ Not a dumbass (yet he should have just a bit of stupidity about him...)
❤ Popular ★ (yet not a ladies' man)
❤ Somewhat athletic
❤ Somewhat musical
❤ SDA
❤ Nice (he shouldn't be all mushy, just not a total meanie either)
❤ Not be afraid to show his soft side (Not that he ever should! Not a girly man!)
❤ Loyal to his homies (and of course me!)
❤ Not a horrible dresser
❤ Likes me the way I are
❤ Confident (not cocky though...)
❤ Not completely unromantic (but not the sort of guy who would keep you up all night caterwauling at your window)
❤ Doesn't give me a bad feeling (He doesn't make me want to get away!)
❤ Not interested in doing it
❤ Actually reads stuff (he doesn't have to pore over heavy tomes of War And Peace or The Day Mikhail Piolwska Tragically Died, but he should at least know the alphabet!)
❤ Not selfish
❤ Kind of like me
❤ Kind of unlike me
❤ Likes music (very important!)
❤ Doesn't cuss me out
❤ Likes to talk a lot
❤ Doesn't text or call every five minutes (read: not possessive)
❤ A badass! (but he should be totally nice in his heart! *sigh*)
❤ Doesn't have horrible skin
❤ Smart
❤ Independent
❤ Not interested in mean whacked out conspiracy theories (but he should think all the rest are funny)
❤ Interesting
❤ Someone I can spill my guts to (i.e a true friend. Swoon!)
❤ Not fat
❤ Polite/respectful (but I ain't takin' no dick on a stick either! Ya hear?)
❤ Doesn't have a name like Ethelbert or Lars
❤ Doesn't have glasses
❤ Mixed race (like meeeeeee!)
❤ Likes animals
KYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

the fiddler fiddles on

Ooooooohhhhh I had sooooo much fun on Tuesday!!!! ><
Crystal, me, and Crystal's mom all went to Hollywood to see Topol's last performance. (Fiddler On The Roof) It was really really good! Except I cried so much that everyone in my vicinity started inching away. But still! You would have cried too! It was the saddest thing!
We also got boba and fried dim sum and popcorn chicken on the way there to eat in the car. It was yummmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyy! ♥ I love boba! I got strawberry. Oh yeah, we got strawberry pocky too! The only thing making it better would be a hot guy feeding it to us. But oh well, you can't have everything...
We took sooooo many silly pictures in the car! Totally fun! We intend to put them up on Facebook, along with some of the ones we took of random people. (muahahahaha!)
When we were buying Snickers, the guy winked at us, and another guy informed me I had the most beautiful smile, (he was really old though) and yet another guy called Crystal a "cute little girl". And, of course, lots of people kept staring at us and smiling and crud. You know, of course, we're the two most beautiful women in the world! (inside joke)
We took to calling every cute boy we saw a "chair" for privacy. Then, when we got inside the theater, and there were nothing but chairs for miles around, we started calling them "gold plated ceiling tiles". Soooo funny!
One lady asked Crystal if she were a model, and asked me if I was a singer or an actress. Then, when I said no, she said "Oh, but I thought you would have something to do with your voice!" I'm so flattered! My dream will definitely come true now! Of course, then she proceeded to ask the next lady if she knew she looked like Barbara Britton, but what can you expect....
For some reason, during the musical, this old lady sitting next to me deemed it necessary to smack her lips loudly every five seconds or so. I'm not quite sure why she was doing this, and I'm also not quite sure why she had to lean my way while she was doing it, but that is the way of the world... There was also this guy with a really tall head parked directly in front of me. I could hardly see anything in the center of the stage! Why do tall people always have to sit in front of me anyway? Eesh.
But I still had a faaaaaaaabulous time, and I wanna go back to Hollywood soon! ^^

Mark got a girlfriend. I think. Although I am not quite sure. His relationship status still says single, but he seems to be talking an awful lot to her, and he doesn't ignore her even when she's being a bitch. Sooooo.... although he does talk quite a bit to a lot of other girls too.
NOT that this bothers me any at all! Seriously! I just wish he didn't hate me...
Who else do I complain to without making out like a total bitch??? Seriously, a girl needs to complain SOMEtime! And I can't because I'm still trying to be "kind".....
It doesn't hurt my heart though. Really.
Really.
I'm serious.
It doesn't.
No way.
Uh-uh.
After all, I still have darling Jack to keep me company....
Oh! I forgot! I think I'm completely over Roman now! I saw some pics C.C put up of them on a cruise together, and it hardly bothered me at all! I am indeed a strong and brave warrior of the heart.
I need to find a new crush, though... what else are you supposed to think about every time you feel like a guy? (Don't you ever get that? Sometimes you're just hanging around, minding your own business, and suddenly, BAM! You start feeling like the tough old dude down the street! There are few remedies for this. One is to strip down to your bra and panties and do a Pussycat Doll-ish dance around your bedroom. Another is to put on as much makeup as will fit on your face without falling off and then giggling at everything anyone says. The last is to go up to the said tough dude and cuss him out, but I will not reccomend this option. It might have deleterious side effects.)
Soooooooo, who do you suggest? It has to be someone you'd never expect... like, mmmm, maybe Austin, Roman's hot(ish) friend? Or Terrance, his other hot(ish) friend? (Who knew I'd run into two guys named Terrance? It's not exactly the most popular name!) Or even Justin, but I somehow don't think so, as we practically grew up together, and that 'twould be a bit ickypoo. He sure is cute, though. Hey, maybe I can date Tomo-chan! Oooh!
Just kidding.
But still... but still... he does have quite a bit of money....
Or maaaaaaybe, I can date Andrew! If we got married, NiNi, Alicia, and I would be related! That would be fun! We could do each other's nails... go shopping... listen to music... talk about cute boys... wait, I would be married. Would that be a problem? Ehhhhh, no. Whoever I marry better be cool with me flirting with anything that comes across my path bearing an x and y chromosome. Or else... BAM! POW! SMACK! You're on the floor, son! HIYAAAAAAAHHHHHHH POW!
Poor guy. He just got beaten up by his dainty, pink-wearing, purse-bearing wife. Don't you pity him deeply?
Oh my.
Oh well.... I WILL find someone someday! Someone who loves me deeply and who has a big-er, paycheck. Someone who will cheer me up when I'm down, and buy me stuff if that doesn't work. Someone who will love me unconditionally and yet not be a stalker. Someone who is hotter than the summer sun, yet has eyes only for me. (For everyone else, he just looks weird, as he has no eyes.) Someone who listens to music all the time, yet is not obsessed with it. Someone who gets turned on by me, yet doesn't want to do it. (EW!) Someone who is much taller than me (not that that would be hard to find) yet who isn't gay with all the members of his basketball team. Someone who has musical talent, yet isn't a Tomo-chan. Someone who isn't afraid to show off his "sensitive" side, he just never does. (i.e a truly MANLY man!) Someone who is a badass, yet is not a dumbass. (He does need to have an ass I can stare at, though...) Someone who.... KYAAAAAHHHHH I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!!! EEEEEEEEEE!!! ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡ ♥ ♡
SQUEEEEEEEEEAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!! Someday I will find the perfect man!

xoxoxo~♥~

Monday, July 20, 2009

it was a very odd dream too.

Ughhhhhhhhhh..... my fifth consecutive dream about Mark.
I really gotta get a new best guy friend.
Or something....
But anyway. Why does he hate me so effing much? Why? WHHYYYYYYYYYYY??!!!!! URGH! I curse him to trip in front of his crush! Cha! Take that! *waves hands around in a vague attempt to direct bad luck his way*
But anyways.... I guess I'm never prolly g'nuh talk to him anymore... WHICH IS JACK'S FAULT!!!! AAAARRRGHHH! EFF YOU, JACK! It's all his fault. Everything is.
Actually, no I'm wrong. Everything is my fault. If I hadn't been so durned stupid as to talk to Jack in the first place, then Mark wouldn't be mad at me now. SO THERE!
But... I'm not as stupid as to bust my butt trying to apologize to either of them (not that Jack even wants an apology) because I'm so forgiving or anything. (Crud, that's really not the right word, but I can't think of the right one!) Weak, maybe. Or accepting. Or allowing? Nooooooooo, none of those! Crud! ><
Woah, Lacrymosa is really a good song!
Anyway. What was I saying? Oh yeah. I was complaining about Mr. Jack-Off and his influence on Mark. Did I say in my last post that he was sort of distant? Well, that was the understatement of the century. Now, not only is he somewhat distant, he's somewhat treating me as if I don't exist at all. I walk into sabbath school, see him, wave and smile. He sees me, of course, but he just stares, then looks away and starts talking quite obviously to the girl next to him, who I just happen to know. (She's really nice. Pretty, too. And blond. And much taller than me. As are most of the girls he now is ignoring me in favor of, except not all of them are blond.) Well, really! I went off and sat down. Then, Jade appeared and got me and Kitty to sit over where she was, which just happened to be next to Mark and his buddies. Then, afterwards, when I didn't make any contact with him at all, she got this knowing look on her face and asked, loud enough for people clear out in Rome to hear, "WHAT HAPPENED, JAS? WHAT DID YOU DO? DID YOU HAVE A FIGHT?" In vain did I try to put her off. She wouldn't be quiet until I told her all about Jack-Off-Jack (as opposed to Jack-Off-Jill) Then, she resumed the knowing look and said, still quite loudly, "HE'S JEALOUS!" "DEFINITELY!" agreed Kitty. Then they nodded together, like a pair of bobbleheads. "W-what are you all'uns talking 'bout?" I gasped, so shocked that I affected a Southren accent. "What she said!" said Kitty. "He's jealous!" reiterated Jade. "No way," I said, still in shock. "That's the way a guy is!" she continued. "He's sulking and trying to rebound by talking to all his female friends because he can't get the girl he wants!" "Which is you," Kitty put in quickly, just to clarify things to the maximum. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking ab-ouffff!" I cut myself off, as Kitty shoved a lemon and poppy seed muffin into my mouth. "Shut up and listen, baka!" she hissed, sounding so entirely evil that I did. "For some reason or another, that numbskull likes you! So when he thought that you were going out with Him Who's Name Shall Not Be Mentioned (as she has dubbed Jack) he decided that he'd make you jealous, or maybe just forget about you, so now he's flirting with all the girls he knows!" "Exactly!" agreed Jade. "See, she's three years younger than you, and she already knows this stuff?" "Om nom nom," said I, still chewing on my muffin. "You look like a pasty chipmunk," said Kitty. I air-slapped her. "Sisterly love..." giggled Jade. "But anyway," she continued in a business like tone. "What we need to do is hook you two up. Right, Kitty?" Kitty nodded, with the most enthusiasm I'd seen for a week. "You can't do that! Can you?" I asked, finally free of my muffin. "Oh yes, we can!" they chorused, with seriously frightening expressions. "What are you going to do?" I asked. "You'll just have to see..." they giggled. Eventually, they did give me a hint, they said that they'd ask him why he's ignoring me. I asked them not to, but they said they wanted to, and just trust them. Very difficult to do...
Oh well. Why am I babbling like this? He's just a guy. So there.
Oh well.... I guess I probably shouldn't have told them that I feel a little jealous after all. Now both of them are perfectly convinced that we're the best future couple ever. Ugh. Well, it's true! I can't help it! Hmmph! ><
Well... I guess there's nothing I can do.
I JUST WISH I COULD FREAKING STOP DREAMING ABOUT HIM!!!!

xoxoxo~&hearts~

Friday, July 17, 2009

an unwanted suitor

Oh my. I seem to be fairly popular with the boys as of late.
Not that this is nessecarily a good thing.
For one thing, both the guys who are salivating after my booty are ugly. And they're really weird. And one is at least sis years my senior. So one can imagine why I'm not exactly overjoyed by this.
To start at the begginning...
So, at chamber camp, I had my homies, of course. There was Emily (Really smart and a few inches taller than me, with curly blond hair besides), Amber (really pretty and nice, with a great wardrobe and to-die-for hair), Terrance (who is soooooo innocent and naive, which is actually really cute), Rob (my childhood friend), and....Jack. He.... was the weird one. The very weird one. The one who was so weird you expected him to grow wings out of his weiner and flap off to Never-Never Land.
At first, I thought he was just a nice, normal, wannabe gangsta, but as time went on, he proved himself to be extremely perverted and odd. He called all the girls, especially me, Sexy, Cutie, Baby, and whatever else sprang to his lecherous mind at the moment. He sometimes walked around with a Smile On His Face And A Hand On His *hup!* And, lemme tell you, it didn't exactly make me want to start a Lovegame with him!
Eventually Rob, who's known me since I was five years old and is obligated by law to tell me this stuff, informed me that Young Master Jack-Off was in like with me. That's right, the most ickypoo person in the whole camp is in like with me. Terrance agreed wholeheartedly (and, if Terrance is agreeing, it must be true. Forgive me for saying this, but he's not the brightest biscuit in the hole....) I didn't believe them of course. My bad.
Jack proceeded to make excuses to hang out with me, the fewer people around, the better. He started doing things like "accidently" knocking into my boobs or butt and then not apologizing, or licking his lips whenever he looked at me. I still didn't think he liked me though, cause Amber is extremely pretty, and Emily is blond. (And they're both very thin and taller than me) Soooooo... I just treated him normally, and then, one fine day, (or night, actually) he confessed. No, I'm serious. He actually did. Over instant message. How dare he! He stole my first confession, who was suppoes to be my prince on a white horse! That jerkwad! ><
Well, it could be worse. He could have stolen my first kiss.
BUT STILLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
Actually, I saved the conversation! Here it is! *makes stalker face*

Jasmine's Newsfeed:

Jasmine:

ANGELA?!

lol jk
10:56pm
Jack:

who did i list in that names thing

no
10:56pm
Jasmine

umm... mary...
10:56pm
Jack

on get to know me

nope
10:57pm
Jasmine:

hang on a minute

it's amber! lol
10:57pm
Jack:

noo
10:57pm
Jasmine:

and jane, mary, marie, jasmine, demeris, and karen

you flirt! lol

jk
10:58pm
Jack:

yeah which one
10:58pm
Jasmine:

...idk...
10:58pm
Jack:

flirting you say
10:58pm
Jasmine:

?
10:58pm
Jack

remember i only flirt wth people i like
10:58pm
Jasmine:

me?
10:59pm
Jack

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

my heart skipped a beat
10:59pm
Jasmine:

y?

i guessed right>

?
10:59pm
Jack:

uhhh yeah

lol
10:59pm
Jasmine:

oh



it's been great talking 2 u, but i g2g 2 bed

ttyl?
11:00pm
Jack:

hahha
e yah
11:01pm
Jasmine:

cya 2morrow
11:01pm
Jack:

do work son
11:01pm
Jasmine:

do good work son!

mcteabag!
11:01pm
Jack:

how you feelin right now

lololol
11:01pm
Jasmine:

happy ^^
11:01pm
Jack:

how much
11:01pm
Jasmine:

very much

^^
11:01pm
Jack:

why
11:01pm
Jasmine:

cuz

of

you
11:01pm
Jack:

waht
11:01pm
Jasmine:

^^

lol
11:01pm
Jack:

why thank you

what did i say
11:02pm
Jasmine:

lol XD
11:02pm
Jack:

lol
11:02pm
Jasmine:

do work son haha jk
11:02pm
Jack:

cliffhanger
11:02pm
Jasmine:

haha

cya 2morrow
11:02pm
Jack:

well il see yah
11:02pm
Jasmine:

yup
11:02pm
Jack:

stay sexy

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11:03pm
Jasmine:

lol u too
11:03pm
Jack:

pull the plug

in 5 sec
11:03pm
Jasmine:

DROP IT LIKE IT HOT!

wait, what?
11:03pm
Jack:

do work
11:03pm
Jasmine:

ok lol
11:03pm
Jack:

byee
11:03pm
Jasmine:

cyas
11:03pm
You are not online

Did you see my wonderful flirting? I was feeling bad about shooting him down, (even though I don't think he was serious) because I absolutely don't like him. So I put all that in. Feeling happy and all that bit. Actually, I was so flustered, I couldn't sleep or anything until about 3 AM. Thanks a lot, Jack-Off-Man.
Whateeeeeeever...... Mark got really distant after he saw our purported "relationship" soooo.... I'm a bit worried.... Oh well. Not like I like Mark. It's his own fault if he goes off in a huff. Hmph!
I wonder why, though.... you'd almost think he's jealous! Bwahahahahaha! Poor boy! Laugh loudly with me, children!
Anyways.... I better go do something productive before they come home. Ugh. ><
Oh well...
Oh yeah! I need to start a fight with lovely Miss Bakka! Muwahahaha!
See yas!
xoxoxo~♥~

Monday, July 13, 2009

dwama chicky

Crud! they won't let me get on Facebook here! For some reason, they decided that if you're under eighteen, you have to use the children's computers, and of course if you're a child, you can't go to Facebook because it has, gasp, Dating/Social stuff! Aaaaahhh! How terrible! This "Face Book" is a menace upon our innocent children and our not-so-innocent society! The internet must be purged of it immediately!
Hmm..... maybe it's my settings. Maybe I could ask the librarian if I could change them... but wait, I think you're supposed to mostly use these computers for work. They might not like it if I go online and chat with everyone. Oh and btw, I can't chat with Mark now because of stupid Jack! He is always online now and Mark is weird out-ed enough because of the stinking changed relationship status!
Oh yeah. I didn't write about that...
Ok, so at chamber camp, which was reeeeeeeeeeeaally awesome, I met this guy named Jack. (I know, totally awkward name...) He seemed perfectly normal for awhile, until SOMONE let it slip that he LIKES me. As in, likes me. Of course I didn't believe him, because who would like me? And besides one of the girls in our group looked practically like a supermodel, (and she's really nice too) and the other girl is like a genius and has curly blond hair besides. So I just acted normal and didn't reeally notice that he was hanging around me an awful lot. Then, he added me as his fiancee on Facebook (or actually, he said "It's Complicated" first, then he said we were engaged)and I didn't think anything of it. Whatever, right? But then my cousin was like "What the!" so I just posted a status saying "i'm not dating this dude... lol" and everyone believed it except for.... well, everyone. Which is to say NO ONE believed me. Mark was like, "if you're not dating, then why does it say you're going out with him, hmmmm?" and then NiNi said "ooh, looks like SOMEONE'S a little jealous!" then Mark stopped doing anything on Facebook at all. Of course, I don't think he was actually jealous, because that would mean he likes me, and I'm sure he doesn't, but still! So I just acted normal with him, (which means not spamming his wall or anything) even though I felt bad because he had gotten rid of J.R for me (saved mah LIFE yo!) AND found Kitty's ring. But I didn't see why I should feel bad, because that would mean I like him or he likes me, and there's nothing like that between us. So then yesterday at Alex's piano recital, we were just hanging out and talking like normal, but then stupid Jack asked over Facebook to add me as his girlfriend, and I don't want to because Mark might get all distant again, and I am sorry, but I care more about Mark then Jack and it's fine because that would mean Mark likes me and he doesn't but WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!
I have no idea what to do. If Jade were online I could ask her, and she might be but I CAN"T GET ON FACEBOOK!!!! AAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Crud, my session ends in ten minutes. I better go. And then I'll ask if I can change my settings so I can go on Facebook. Yuppp! Byeas!

xoxoxo<3xoxoxo

Thursday, July 2, 2009

waaahh my onigiri didn't upload

Phhoeeee, I tried to upload this cute onigiri from Photobucket, but it didn't work. So I have to keep an un-cute profile picture, booo! Oh well.
Grr! That stupid Unflushed John is soooooooo pissing me off! Whenever I think about him, I get mad! So I try not to.
Actually, I don't. That was a lie.
But I'm Reviving Ophelia, so I'm wearing black and no hair accessories with a chain around my neck. (Actually, it's a pretty cute necklace! It's a chain, with a bell hanging from it, and a bow on top of that. I made it myself!) I want some fishnets too, but mine are really ripped up, and they're skin-colored anyway. I want some thigh high black fishnet socks... That would be sooooo cute! Maybe I can make some. Wait, no, I can't. They would break. Maybe I can make some thigh high regular socks before I go to chamber camp! Since I'm going to be away from the corrupting influence of my dear hometown, with no parents there to stop me, I can wear whatever i want. Crud, I could dress like a hooker and no one would be the wiser! I think I will. It will put some amusement into my daily life.
Sooo.... I'm off to make some thigh highs with garters! See ya!

xoxoxo~♥~

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

pissed at a certain toilet-wad

But... I wanted to be called an effing whore...
Seriously! You can't trust people! ><

Jasmine's Newsfeed:

Thomas just arrived. He is definately going to audition for pre-college at Juilliard next year in May. Miss NY already...

Yesterday at 7:34pm · Comment · Like
3 people like this.

Grace 翁馨怡 at 7:52pm June 30
haha...

Alia at 8:07pm June 30
GOOD LUCK! hopefully you'll get in! but then your leaving CA???

Thomas at 8:10pm June 30
What justin? Why don't u audition?
Yep, gonna move to NY, seriously.

Alia at 8:11pm June 30
awww....what if you dont get in??? then you wont move hahah lol

Kate at 8:13pm June 30
I hope you go!!

James at 8:15pm June 30
Good luck. I'm not a fan of NY, but Juilliard is major. I'm sure you'll do fine - typical Asian-American prodigy!

Roseann at 8:20pm June 30
good luck.

Chelsea at 8:24pm June 30
pshhhhh curtis is wayyy better lol tell me about julliard when u get bak!!

Thomas at 9:16pm June 30
I would audition the year after again. What Chelsea?? Curtis is not better than Juilliard...

Justin at 9:18pm June 30
Plz move 2 NY

Thomas at 9:20pm June 30
oh I'll be glad to, cuz I won't see your face again... Dude save ur words. Don't click me.

Thomas at 9:23pm June 30
@ Kate - I hope so too! But there will be no more CYMO :(

Kate at 9:30pm June 30
Awww that's okay if you go to Juilliard I'll visit

Thomas at 9:43pm June 30
really? where are you going for college?

John at 10:07pm June 30
Justin, do you have anything better than "wow thomas......" to say to any of Thomas' statuses, or are you just that f***ing stupid???

(FYI Justin, just in case you don't understand what "f***ing" means, replace "***" with "uck")

Justin at 10:16pm June 30
wel john......nobody ever uses fyi's anymore...

Jasmine at 10:28pm June 30
@thomas i hope you get in! ^D^ but we'll miss you...
@john that's not very nice...

Millie at 7:46am July 1
does that mean you're gonna move to NY?? AWESOMENESS lol.. BEST OF LUCK! =]

Alia at 10:29am July 1
hahaah awww......john is sticking up for thomas how cute!

Thomas at 10:42am July 1
@ Justin - people STILL use FYI's. and.. FYI, are you f***ing stupid?
@ Jasmine - ... -_- i don't think you know how friendship works... "real" friends stick up for their friends. So.. be my guest and find a friend. xD

John at 6:17pm July 1
Interesting. Justin removed all of his comments... For such an egotistic, arrogant, and antagonistic little kid that he is, I (along with others) would believe that he could take a little criticism like this. I guess that I (along with those others) assumed incorrectly...

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JOHN YOU EGOTISTIC ARROGANT AND ANTAGONISTIC BUTTHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE YOU THE BOSS OF THOMAS' SOCIAL SCHEDULE????!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU F***ING STUPID? GO SUCK ONE, YOU CHAUVINISTIC PEA BRAINED DICKHEADED CRAPHOLED ANTISOCIAL PRICK!

Oh man. I just wanna slap that guy...
How DARE he talk to Justin like that? And is he gay or something? EEEEESH! What the eff is his BEFF?
...His beef is gonna be dead meat if he says anything like that to Justin ever again... I warn you, I have a killer sucker punch and I know how to use it too! Don't make me mad, John you plugger-of-the-john...


Pretty
Sometimes I like to go outside and watch the sun. I run down the sidewalk until I'm too out of breath to run any more. Sometimes then a group of men pulls up in a truck and stare. I don't like them staring, so I run away.They drive after me and yell things. The first one says Hey pretty girl how are you, but I ignore him and keep running until the second one says "Stop and say hi to us and be friendly. I look at them, stupid and scared, and then the third one throws some money at me and yells something, and then I turn around and run home.
A vignette I had to write for English. I'mma change it though, cause Mom is probably gonna read it. Eesh. What can I write about? It's supposed to be about my neighborhood and in the style of El Casa Sobre El Calle Del Mango. Ugh, why the eff do I have to do this? I hate making creative writing. I like writing stories, and making things up, but then people have to read it and tell you your plot is defective or whatever. It's so effing annoying! I'll just right something mundane and stupid. Ick.
Ok, here's what I came up with.

Responsible
No, I say, I don't want to go visit them after the funeral. I don't, I don't, I don't. And they think it's just because I'm shy, because I don't know the family well. But I'm the only one who knows the truth. Why he died. Why his family is so sad now. It's all my fault and that's why I can't go visit them and try to make them happier.
He was sick and old, and he always smelled like cough drops. But he wasn't mean. He always let us come over and pick his fruit for him and then take it home with us in paper bags. But I still avoided him, because I thought I might get sick too. And then one day he waves to me when I'm walking by myself and he says come over and pick some oranges if you want and I shake my head and say no, no, I don't want to, I need to go home. He turns away sadly and I think that's the end, but the next day I hear that he died. I can't believe it, because I know it's all my fault, so I don't go over to talk to the family anymore. My parents say too bad, and it's good he got to be at home at the end, but I don't say anything, because I'm the only one who knows what happened and I don't want them to be hurt the way his family is hurt. So I just seal the words inside my mouth and don't say anything at all.

Family Resemblance
Aren't you that little girl's sister? they ask. You look just like her. Then they nod and laugh as if they'd just found out something really clever. Like they'd just invented gravity or something. I nod and smile and keep talking but I know they're lying. I'm not that pretty and I don't look like anyone in my family. But they smile and nod. Yes, you look just like her. Just like her.

Pretty good, ey? Except the first one actually did happen and I felt horrible for a while. I still feel bad, actually, if you want the truth. Now his brother is living in that same house and I want to make amends but I don't know how. I say hi and stuff, but he's really creepy, so I try to avoid him and I know that one day I'm going to regret this, but I can't make myself go talk to him friendly like. Cause he's a creepy geezer! >< Well... I did leave a plate of cookies on his doorstep once, but I didn't tell him it was me, so it doesn't count.
UGH! I am such a LOSER! I disgust myself! Why can't I be more kind to everyone? Why do I have to be such a bitch?
AND BE SO EFFING FAT?????!!!! I gained 1.99 pounds this week. And my stomach sticks out like a water balloon. I can hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror unless I'm wearing something to disguise it, and even then it shows. I look like shit, and I can't do anything about it. I tried running today, but, if you read my first vignette, you can tell what happened. And, of course, I'd been reading that stupid psychology book on Understaning Ophelia or whatever, so I was all paranoid of potential stalkers and rapists. URGH!
But now I'm making it my ambition to Revive Ophelia in ten simple steps!
1. Be very officious to young children.
2. Be very insubordinate to adults (Mom and Dad in particular)
3. Be very paranoid of all guys (this one I might have trouble with...).
4. Work very hard at school.
6. Make as many friends as possible, prefferably ones that Mom and Dad disapprove of.
7. Do it. (I don't want to, though, so this may only be Ophelia's Nine Simple Steps)
8. Be very loud and obnoxious.
9. Don't listen to Prince, but listen to various other angry artists. (Evanescence will do)
10. And, last of all, with my special skill, break all the rules possible! Wear indecent clothes, lots of makeup, and heels! (Ouch!) Chew gum! Listen to emo heavy metal! Go outside to wander the neighborhood at night! Get a boyfriend! Keep secrets! Be a bitch! And DON'T EVER EAT A SINGLE THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eeesh, now I have to frickin go do math. What the eff. How annoying.
And, on top of it all, THIS CREEPY CREEP WHO IS NOW MY FRIEND ON FB CAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS SAFE AND MARK KNOWS HIM KEEPS SAYING I'M CUTE! ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!

✖ ✖ ✖ ☠ ✖ ✖ ✖