I just had a (pretty short) therapy appointment, and it was pretty good, but now I feel more anxious and sad than I did before, so maybe it wasn't actually that good. Or maybe it was a sign that it worked? You know you have to get sad before you can get happy. (What's happy again?)

One problem with having appointments back-to-back with Mom is that she always wants to know what I talked about. And sometimes I talked about her. What does one really say to that? Even worse, though, she usually comes out in tears, and then I have to be a comforter. Which shouldn't be bad, so I sound like a terrible person right now. But I don't particularly like comforting! I'm bad at it! So I feel like I make everything worse. Well, that's my job, isn't it?

Let me tell you about the New and Exciting events that have happened. Xander got a car! It's a lovely little four-door manual hatchback, black, and it has a decent stereo system. We haven't decided on a name for it yet, but I hope it's something sophisticated. Xander wants me to learn to drive stick with it, and actually, I do know how to drive a stick shift, but I'm not very good at it, so it will be an exciting opportunity to learn. We have our permits now (Xander and I do), and we're getting ready to schedule appointments to get our licenses. Isn't that exciting? I don't have a car, but if I get good at driving a manual, I can use Xander's (before he leaves, or if I see him in LA, since we'll both be there next year), and that's something. I take the train a lot anyway. 

Hmm, what else? Oh- I went mini-golfing with Natalie! It probably would have been more fun if I hadn't been thinking about death (my death, obvi) the whole time, but it was still lovely. I always love to see her <3 then, that night was the Perseid meteor shower, so I stayed up until 4 so I could see it. And it worked! I wandered around on the streets like a Romantic person, and there's a lot of light pollution in my neighborhood, but I still saw two meteors, and it was everything I'd hoped for and more. I adore the stars; once upon a time I wanted to be an astronomer, and I still am so fascinated by all the things in the sky. Looking up there makes me feel so alive, which sounds silly, I know, but it's wonderful. I think this is going to be an experience that I'll remember for a long time.

Okay! Mom and I just went to eat at this cute little Ethiopian place, and it was really yummy! We got a veggie thing, so the gravies didn't really soak into the injera that much, but it was still great! We didn't even save any to bring home for the others. Now we're at Mom's work, and she's doing some stuff and I'm taking advantage of the wifi and air conditioning. I'm so easily placated, it's funny. I just go along with everything. That's good, I guess. Although it just means that I'm always vaguely miserable, sort of like the base rate of firing in a neuron. And then I sometimes get more sad, and that's like when the neuron's firing increasing. Very unfortunate. But you know, you do what you can. I never claimed to be perfect.

Why won't my tummy stop making noise? I don't want it to be so loud :( this is such an embarrassing predicament. What if someday I'm accepting my award for my wonderful performance as Cosette on Broadway (or in Hollywood, tbh, I'm not picky), and just as I go to give my heartfelt speech, my tummy busts out with its own rendition of Do You Hear the People Sing? That would be terrible! I suppose I could pretend it was my costar, but that would be so terribly dishonest. Oh my, what a problem I face! 

Here's another problem: my legs are so dry, and no amount of lotion seems to salve them. Instead of being silky and smooth and supple, they're crackly and careworn, and not at all attractive. Maybe I should try coconut oil? Oh yeah, speaking of which, apparently some people use coconut oil instead of shampoo. That seems so gross to me! I don't get it, I mean, I understand putting it on your hair after you wash it, to make it shiny or soft or whatever, but using it instead seems icky. Okay, time to go. Bye now!