ugh, i SO don't want to go to spanish class.

Wow, Amy Lee has a good voice, But she's also very emo and depressing. Iunno.
Is someone talking to me? I can't hear, cause I'm listening to Wake Me Up Inside really loudly. Ok, it's done. Time for Paramoooooooore!
Decode! Yup!
Oh, crud, they're home. Had to turn it off. *punds everything in sight in rage and anger*
I had the yummiest snack! It was this cake I made yesterday for Dad's birthday, (he's 49, daaaaaaaang that's old) some ice cream also from his birthday, some cut up strawberries, canned cherries from the cake, and coo'hwip. Nyaaahahahhha Family guy....
Speaking of Family Guy, at Orchestra The Place Of Gayness last night, Michael had a family guy shirt. He's cute, but I don't really like him anymore. Unfortunately, he's one of the few people who will actually say high to me! Noooo! This is bad! I could get a bf, but I don't like him! And the guy I like is taken by Bitch Queen Numero Dos of the universe! (Bitch Queen Numero Uno being TiTi) What's a girl to do? Teardrops On My Guitar fits me perrrrrrfectly. I go around singing it all the time.
Anyway. Orchestra sucked fifty-five dicks. For one thing, Mrs. Samuel got it into her head to do a sectional. So she made all of the firsts play by themselves. This all sounds well and good, right? Well, it was in theory... (music theory, nyahaha) at any rate, I played like two measures, and then she said I was outta tune. So I played some more, but she said I wasn't with her conducting. So I tried again but before I had gotten to the second measure, she, in her special I-Hate-Jasmine voice, said sharply, "Ok, next person." (Yeah, I was first) Then, for them-oh, wait. Hers was perfect. So was the next girl. And then Ilene. Ugh, she played really well! I almost threw up right then and there! If she's concertmaster, I will almost certaintly die right in the middle of the concert (which could provide some interesting illastration for the funeral march we're playing!) (Honestly, we played a funeral march last year too. Also dance macabra. Really, couldn't we play the Wedding March sometime instead?) Uh, whatta? What was I saying? Oh yeah. Then the next guy played badly (but not quite as bad as me) and she gave him like a million chances and also she didn't conduct anymore after me. Then came the next guy. He was bad too, but she was patient. Then the last guy, who was cute! He played bad too, and also she was very nice. Then she started scribbling on her notepad. I can just see it now... Ilene: Maybe concertmaster. Jefferson: Ok, move him up a stand. Ashley: Really good! maybe concertmaster. Elene: concertmaster fo sheazy my beazy! Jasmine: FAIL!
Lovely.
At any rate.
I should really practice my music. I don't like orchestra, so I never practice anything.
And that, dear reader, is why I suck.
But I don't want to get moved up! I don't WANNA be high up in the section! I don't have enough friends, so I can't! And I want to skip the (ickypoo) retreat. Maybe if I play bad enough, she'll make me skip it! I thought this up during orchestra.
So then I started drooping as much as possible, so my violin was pointing at the floor, using about an inch of bow, and never looking up. I made sure Mrs. Samuel was watching. Then, at the end of rehearsal, I was hoping she would say, "Jasmine, may I speak to you in the office, please?" But she didn't.
Oh! Maybe i should "forget" to send in the emergency form and check for about a million dollars! Afterall, we are rather poor. So if I "forget" to do that, she'll kick me out for sure! Yay!
Oh, but what if even that doesn't work and all that happens is she gets pissed?
Oh dear.
Jasmine, darling, you've found yourself a world of trouble.
Screw world. Jasmine Darling has found herself a whole galaxy of trouble.
This is going to be the most miserable weekend of my whole entire life.

illegal, probably

Hello! I'm at the Apple store. Actually, the Campus store. I don't think I'm supposed to be doing this, but who cares. Also, Mom is looking at (of all things) computer mice, so there's nothing for me to do. I was gonna have Karina's lesson today, but she bailed at the last minute (AGAIN) so now I'm stuck on campus. Then Mom decided I should get some fresh air, so she made us walk over to the campus store. And so I'm doing this. Unfortuantely, across from me are two rather creepy guys. I don't wanna stay here too long, but screw that, who cares? With my advanced taekwondo skills, nothing can harm me. Hey, I wonder if I'll see Emmanuel! Anyways, I should go because a lady just came. Bye! Love ya!
xoxoxo~♥~

i'm bringin sexy back.... YEAH!

Oh, goodness, I haven't had a chance to write about anything in the past few weeks! Or days, maybe. Anyways.
We came back from Ching Ming on Sunday. It was soooooooo fun! I ate so much I thought I'd get really fat, but I didn't. Also, I finally got to meet my super-smart cousins, and they're all really sweet. I had a great time hanging out with everyone, and I can't wait to put up all the pictures on Facebook! The only problem was the car ride up. You try being crammed in the backseat with two, hyper, fighting children, both trying to read your notebooks and diary and listen to your iPod, all while asking inane questions like, "Hey, Jassy, what if you ate a pickle on a refrigerator?" and making inane statements such as, "Hey, did you know Ichigo is strong enough to be a captain? So is Rukia. In fact, the both of them are stronger then Zaraki!" It was pure torture. Of course, I was also finishing up my period, so I had to have a pad sticking out of my pants and looking like I had a dick. Or maybe not. But Iunno. But really! What genius invented pads anyway? I mean, sure they're good and all, but couldn't they have made something that doesn't make it look like you're part boy? Seriously. I ask you.
Fortunately, Halmoni made some food for in the car, like cookies, sandwiches, coleslaw and brownies. I probably ate waaaay too many of the sweets, and, of course, as you know, "when a girl gains weight she can't lose it again." Thanks, Zac. Really boost my self esteem...
At any rate, San Francisco was awesome, and I wanna go again next year. We went to this little 99¢ store, and I bought a ton of stationary. I even got some Monokuroboo things for Jade and Crystal! I'm so nice. (Er, wait, is it supposed to be stationery or stationary? I'm not quite sure...)
Also, last Thursday something soooooo scary and funny happened! It was ah-mazing! I almost die-ed! And the worst part was both the guys were effin' ugly! Ew. So, here's what happened.
I was walking up to Mom's office, just wearing a normal outfit, a hot pink miniskirt, a craizly paisley shirt, and silver flats, when all of a sudden a creepy guy in a 1709 model Toyota (Yes, I know they didn't have Toyotas in 1709, you cheezshit!) pulled up and honked his horn very loudly in my direction. Certain he wasn't aiming at me, I smiled, and continued walking. (I know, I really shouldn't smile at everyone, but that's just how I am) Then, he leaned out the open window, and belted out what sounded like, "Hey, mama!" Oh. Ew. Disgusting. I almost threw up right then and there, especially since the guy was about fifty years older than your grandma. He waited at the stop light for a really long time, probably waiting for me to cross the street so he could get some more ogling in, but smart me, I stayed standing on the sidewalk, unwilling to get hollad at. I made it up to Mom's office in one peice, only to discover that Karina had cancelled the lesson, so I now had to hang out at work for six hours. I was so bored, I made myself up with the sexiest lip look ever, and then I wandered off to explore campus. After that, I was hungry, so I decided to walk down to Cafe Society, which is really close to the church (which is on campus). I got into the parking lot, but as soon as I had crossed the street, (stupidly) smiling at the people in the car who had waited for me, the selfsame car pulled up next to me. It was red. And ugly. And very ugly. But who am I to judge? "Hey, gotta minute?" yelled the person from inside. "Um," said I, intelligently, unsure of what was going on. But, as I am a complete gullible idiot, I stood there on the sidewalk waiting, I thought he needed directions, actually. Just then, a guy hopped out of the backseat and approached towards me. "Um?" I said again, hoping we wouldn't have to "grapple". "Hey," he said, in what he probably thought was a cool and suave way. "Hi," I said. "How are you?" he questioned, approaching closer and closer. I backed up. "Do you remember me?" he asked, desperate for a conversation. I looked at him closely, wondering if he was drunk. "I guess not," he sighed dejectedly, then perked up again. "I'm Emmanuel," he said, looking me straight in the boobs. "Er, nice to meet you," I mumbled, extremely freaked out. "You too," he said, coming even closer. "Hey, I can see you're nervous," he observed, noting my expression and constant backing away. And what brings you to that conclusion, Albert Einstein? "What's your name?" he asked. "Maria," I said, inventing one on the spot. "And do you live here?" he asked, gesticulating at the parking lot behind us. Maybe he thought I was related to the dandelions inhabiting the cracks near the senior pastor's parking space. "No, I live in San Francisco," I said, managing to keep a straight face. "Ah, so you're going to school in S.F..." he noted, still watching my boobies. I nodded, still keeping ahold of my Poker Face. "So you're visiting here?" he asked, nosily. "Yes," I said, still thinking I would be force-fxcked any second. "Well, I can see you're nervous," he said again, apparently believing if he stated this observation it would make me more amenable to his cause. "I just wanted to tell you... you're beautiful." "Uh..." I said, wondering if he had a very good grasp of the English language. "So, I'll go now, but I just wanted to say that you're really beautiful, and..... yeah. Beautiful." he agreed, making his way back to the car. "Er, thank you," I said, walking off quickly. Then, when they drove away, I took of running. "Could it be I overdid the chic lip look?" I questioned to the world at large and recieving a puzzled look from a medical student walking by. "Could be," I gasped out, as another person in a car looked at me with delight. When I finnaly got to the door of the restaurant, I was really pooped, so I went inside and bought some coffee and potato salad. Then I went back, uneventfully. Whew!
But, beautiful?
Gee, I'm touched.
Goodness.
I feel like a model.
Oh, and it happened today, too. I was scootering outside, and a guy drove past in a car. A boy about my age was hanging out the window, and when he saw me, he stared, stared some more, and waved shyly. I'm not sure, but I think he may have been blushing as well. Yay, I now have a fan club. Ooh, maybe he was related to Emmanuel! Cha!
I need a shower, and, as dad still isn't back, I think I'll go lock up those deeeeeeaaar little lovebirds.
xoxoxo~♥~

zac decided it would be fun to bash his sister

My life= nonnayerdamnbusiness!
Zac took it into his pretty little head to write about me in his diary. How do I know this, you may ask? Well... let's just call it "investigative research". After all, how am I supposed to know anything if I don't find it out myself?
Ok, I admit it. I snooped. But he deserved it, the badmouthing dwimp! Guess what he said about me (In a journal entry apparently named "Anime Is Dumb") (yes, he names his journal entries. Then he puts them into a table of contents in the back.)
"Jasmine and Kitty have become obsessed with Anime. They talk non-stop about some dweeb named Ichigo and appear to be in love with him, which is very silly. Jasmine used to read Shakespeare, and Kitty used to be interested in Greek myths, but that's all out the window now. Jasmine has this fake mature attitude about her, except it's not fake. She could be like Mommy, and be interested in (something scribbled out and then something I can't read) hard work. She seems to be worried about being fat and her stomach (two whole lines scribbled out) She doesn't exersice much and eats a lot of sweets. This seems rqather silly, but (illegible) and when a girl gains weight she can't lose it again.
Her songs really are very good, and her rap track was excellent. She still listens to the grossest music, 102.7 and 105.9 seeming to be her favorite stations, but she looks to them for inspiration and maybe (illegible). Kitty is a lot more emo, liking black, and is usually more depressed."
What the heck? When a girl gains weight she can't lose it again? In the name of peace and love....!
(eheheh sorry about the malplaced exclamation point)
I'm gonna stop eating.
And maybe actually exercise more.
It couldn't hurt.
Actually it could.
But no pain no gain is what they always say!
Right?
Oh, and Zac! In the first place, I was the one who was hyper-obsessed with Greek things! Not Kitty! Ok? And how do you know I'm obsessed and in love with some dweeb named Ichigo? I mean, he's cute, and I want a boyfriend like that, but that's all! It's not like I go to sleep with his picture clutched in my arms (as I'm sure some girls (and guys) do of Edward-El-Disgusto-Cullen)! And how do you know I don't read Shakespeare anymore? (Well, I don't, but that's besides the point) I would if I could, but I couldn't cause I wouldn't, ok? *looks around for proof of someone understanding rather odd explanation* *gets thrown out of college later in life for neglect in use of pronouns*
Annnnnd... HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW I'M NOT INTO HARD WORK MR. SLACKER-UNTIL-I-GET-AN-A?!!!!!! YOU JERKWAD WAIT UNTIL I KICK YOUR ASS INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT MONTH!!!!!! *Ehem*. As I was saying. I do like learning, even though everyone seems to think I don't (why IS that?) and I'm not as much of an idiot as you seem to think I am. And I'm not as fat as you seem to think I am either. So there. (What should I do, wear granny vests and dolly tops until I lose 20 pounds?) I could do well in school, I think... I'm at the top of my class in Chinese and I never study, so there! Zac is at the top of the class and he studies 24/7, but in different things. Also, I'm able to master skills from week to week in violin, and I never practice that either. I mean I do, every day, but not for more than half an hour (I'm pretty sure). So I could probably do well, if I tried my best, but trying your best is too much effort, unless it's something you really care about, and usually I get overshadowed anyway so it doesn't matter what I do. Well, if I were really learning to be a singer, I would put my all into dance lessons and singing and writing songs and etc, cause that's what I wanna do, but not for violin. Ew. Kay? Although, I do like playing violin, but since I'm not great at it, and I'm not as good as Zac and Kitty, and I only ever want to play for fun, I think it might be good for me not to do it. I may be dragging Kitty down too. But then what would I have? I'm behind in schoolwork, I'm not smart, and I'm too fat to be a model. So violin is all I can do.
Or I could switch to viola. Or cello. Or piano, since I like it so much. Or even guitar. I play a lot of instruments, but I suck at all of them, so I'm not sure that helps. (Ok, techs, I don't even play guitar, viola, cello, or piano, since I don't take lessons, but I've performed on everything except guitar, so it might count.) (And yes, I did say "techs" for "techinally". I didn't want to sound like Jade.)
Man, that was depressing.
And show-offy.
And verrrrrry Gifted.
Wow.
But still, that's what friends are for, right, old friend?
Yay. I'm talking to a computer. (Well, not out loud, lest Kitty and the babyshitters hear and think I'm crazy, but you know what I mean) Tres tres triste.
Indeed.
I think romance isn't everything to life.
I mean, I do want a boyfriend as much as you want a triple decker fudge quadruple coffee mocha strawberry chocolate whipped cream-on-top-with-a-cherry-and-chocolate-sprinkles and a mochetta boba tea and whipped cream, but it's not everything. I mean, the most important thing is still.... Iunno. (You thought I was gonna say "love", didn't you?) Love is important, and I think it's one of the most important things, but there has to be something else. Maybe un-romantical love? I don't know. But still. There has to be more to life than making out.
Or doing it.
But I don't want to do that when I get a bf.
Just make out with him.
So there.
(How dumb did that sound? Yeesh.)
Really. Boyfriends aren't the most important thing and I would never change myself to get one, so you don't have to worry. I haven't become an idiot yet.
But still.
When a girl gains weight she can't lose it again.
Banana.
I'm gonna turn into Nicki Blonski.


xoxoxo~♥~

Today, Kitty decided she doesn't want to go to dance. Then she shot me with an arrow. FML.
No, that didn't sound very good, did it> Ok, here's another one.
Today, I realized that I have to skip going to- oh wait, I already said that one. Kay, I'll just say...
Today, I'm fourteen years old and have never been called pretty by a boy. My eleven year old man-hating sister has. FML.
Lovely. Unfortuantely, it's also true. I mean, she hates men so much it's almost ridiculous! (Unless, of course, they're anime. Then she likes them.) And I? I, you say? Well, I wouldn't say I'm boy crazy, but....
COME ON! I WANT A BOYFRIEND ALREADY!!!!!!
Even if he's a dickhead.
If he's a dickhead, I can beat him up.
Or send him to court.
Or something.
Buuuuuuut, a nice guy would be better. Unfortunately, they don't seem to exist in real life. Only in books (except not Twilight).
Oh, speaking of Twilight, don't you think Bi-Night sounds much better? I made up a whole list of characters yesterday.
Emily: Bella's friend. (sorry, I don't remember their names) But she wants to be more...
Bob: (actually Jennifer) a girl, who may or may not be a guy, dressed as a girl, dressed as a guy. No one is actually sure, least of all his/herself.
Jenny: a drag queen
Mike: a drag king
Alice: a sweet, innocent, pretty, delicate, and polite girl who also happens to have a dick.
Rosalie: Alice's er, "friend". Her special friend.
Emmet: Dr. Cullen's cousin, and also his husband. (Because they got married a long time ago before Prop 8, y'know.)
Dr. Cullen: The town's doctor. He would be highly hot, only he's very gay. With his cousin.
Edward: the hero (ish), who is very macho, controlling, abusive, ugly, crude, rude, mean, thinks you should be masochistic, has anger issues, and is really named Elizabeth, because he's actually a girl.
Bella: the heroine, who is masochistic, allowing, annoying, stupid, dis-loyal to any friends who happen to be human, and, apparently, gay.
Isn't it PERFECT!
g2g

i hate twilight

Hiyaa what's up dearie?
Right now I'm listening to Forever And For Always, which is quite possibly the most sappiest song ever written. But I like it. I mean! Sometimes you like soft sappy music, don't you? I like Say...
I didn't get to go to Jade's party, or maybe I should say I didn't have to go. Which is good. But what did I have to do instead? I have to go to orchestra, otherwise known as the I-Hate-Jasmine club. It sucks very much. Dare I say, it sucks dick. Nah, not dick. Dick is too good for it. It sucks.... hmmm.... it sucks Chris Brown's dirty dick. Yeah. That's what it does. It does! i'm not even kidding! Everyone hates me! They undoubtedly think I would be better off dead or something! they probably all plot to bring machetes to the retreat and do away with me in the Craft Lodge! (They could use beading cord to tie me up first) Oh, and speaking of the retreat! You know how we were all planning to go to Vista to visit Mom's uncle and then go to the beach and restaurants and stuff and just generally have a fabulous time? Well, guess when the retreat is? That's right. Smack-dab in the middle of our vacation. Darn it! Remind me to punch the Samuel's next time I see them! I SO want to skip the retreat, because not only do I have to miss the beach (which we never even go to) I have to skip it to go to this horrible place where I will probably wake up in the morning to find myself dead! This sucks more than Chris Brown's dirty dick.... What would happen if I told Mom the retreat was cancelled and I told Mrs. Samuel that I had to have a liver transplant that day? What would happen? Would it work? I can lie very well, because I always seem very sweet and innocent, so everyone always believes me. It's handy. Kitty should learn that looking sweet works better than looking emo in the end. Oooh! I wanna listen to Pressure! Kay, I will.
I'm back.
Daaahhhh! I can feel the pressure! I wanna do something, but I can't! Also, I don't want to go to school, but I'll have to next year. I wanna be my own person, but I can't, unless I become the "popular" kid in our family. I do wanna be popular, but why can't anyone see that I'm not right for it? No one even frickin likes me, so how can I become lead cheerleader? Oh, YEAH banana! I LOVE Wake Me Up Inside by Evanescense! I thought it was g'nuh be Decode by Paramore, but it turned out to be Wake Me Up Inside! I love this song sooooo much!
What I hate: Twilight.
Seriously! Edward pisses me off so much! I just hate how smug and superiour he is! And he can't control his temper neither. And Bella is too into him. Also, she's a little masochistic, isn't she? Like Leona Lewis. "Oh, Edward, my dear! I will be all that you want! You are wonderful!" "Bella." he says, looking straight at her with his wonderful golden eyes. "Yes, my darling?" she whispers, feeling her insides turning into jelly. "That makes me very happy," he says, leaning in forward to make out with her (and possibly do it right then and there) but then what does he see? No! It is not! But it is! It is one of Bella's human friends, a cute boy named Mike! NO! This cannot BE! Edwrd, eager to defend his Bella, leaps forward to grab Mike by the throat. "You!" he hisses furiously, his eyes turning black with rage and wrath. "Huh?" gasps out Mike, trying desperately to breathe, and failing. "You were looking at my Bella, weren't you!" he screams, squeezing poor Mike even harder. "N-n-n" whispers poor Mike, trying to get free.
OH CRUD THEY"RE HOME! OK< GOTTA GO! BYE!
I'll finish my Twilight Hate rant later.
byebye!
xoxoxo~♥~

crud, i'm fat and pissed at chewing. think ill go see what kitty's doing.

Ugh, I haven't posted in forever and two weeks! So annoying! I never get to!
Yesterday we went to Sungmin's friends's house. (The mom and dad are co-workers with mom, I think) It was horrible!!!
For one thing, they had this aunt visiting. Not much of an aunt, more like-
Ah, shiznit, fergit. I said that.
Anyways. She was REALLY annoying! At one point in the meal, I swear, she was sitting there smacking her lips, loudly, for no earthly reason whatsoever that I could see! Unless it was the fact that she had a very loud an obnoxious eight month old baby, and was therefore paying more attention to it than anything else, even though all she needed to do was let it sit there placidly on her lap. But no, what does she do? She riles up the kid, so it starts howling like an ambulance. Then, we have no choice but to watch her spoon disgusting orange goop into its wide open and waiting mouth. Very gross. Very gross indeed. Then, when I tried to introduce myself, she looked at me, did a half smile, and turned back to Baby Ickypoo. What a rude woman, no?
Of course, the dad is also highly irritating. He may also be a perv. I'm not yet sure.
The mom is pretty nice, though, although after I thanked her for the meal, she repeated my sentence to the other adults in an amused tone. Seriously. Woulda thought they'd be more polite, it being Sabbath and all.
Oh yeah! I found this gorgeouso eyeshadow at Clarks (the health food store)!! It's called Opal Irridecsence (or something like that) and looks like powder foundation until you put it on, and then it turns this gorgeous iridescent lavenderish white with sparkles that look really pretty in your eyelashes. It's so gorgeous! I really want some, but, knowing Clarks, it's probably 10.99 for a bottle big enough for two applications. (Yeah, I know, that's more than twice my weekly salary, so shut up! I'm still a kid, so I can't expect to get paid a lot!) (Or wait, can't you work when you're fourteen? NOOOO! I don't WANNA!!!! Boo!)
Now where was I?
Get the heck offa me, Banana!
I hate those lovebirds.
(that sounds funny, does it not?)
During church today, I went up to find a seat with Zac and Kitty. Alas, everywhere we looked, it was full. We wandered around for awhile, until we spotted a mysteriously empty pew, sitting all by itself in the middle of the balcony. So, naturally, we sat down. Unfortunately, after we had been sitting there for awhile, I realized why it had been empty. Next to us, on one end, were two gay ladies who kept hugging each other and holding hands (they were rather old, too, at least forty, which is SUPREMELY disgusting, if you ask me) and behind us was an impossibly loud and disgusting family, who included
1. a grandma who was chewing gum so loudly you could hear her from five pews away
2. a little boy with a cold who seemed to find it nessecary to smack his lips loudly and in random places, and who also wouldn't stop blowing his nose
3. a mom, who seemed to think it was polite to make sure everyone was aware she was eating candy the whole time (I'm not sure, but I think she may have even drooled some into my hair), and
4. a creepy dad/grandpa with the most DISGUSTING fingernails I've ever seen! At least he wasn't smacking his lips too.
Really, I should be more tolerant of the gross eaters among us, but for some reason, I really can't. It's my pet peeve. So in yo face. Unfortunately, I'm constantly plagued with it, because all members of my family are of the Gross Eating variety, which makes mealtimes painful for me. I mean, Kitty even slurps her milk with every drink she takes! Sungmin wips his hands on his clothes, hair, plate, brother, and anything else he can get them on. Mom smacks her lips so loud it sounds like an airplane is flying overhead, and everyone else is just as bad. Really, what's a girl to do? I've considered making a little box, putting earplugs in it, and sticking it to a wall with a sign that says "get your earplugs for dinner here", and I think I really may do that sometime if they don't improve. Also, I thought of xeroxing that old Mrs. Pigglewiggle story about the bad table manners cure and putting them on everyone's plates, or maybe writing an adress to a manners school on the blackboard where everyone is sure to see it, but I'm not sure this would work. However, I'mma do it anyway, because you can't know until you try!
I will use little ways to improve them.... because it sure as f*ck ain't working to try to get them to emulate me!
Jade is pissed that we're gonna have to miss her birthday party. I can't say I am, though. Cause, if you had a choice, would you rather get dissed by His Majesty The Queen and The Wicked Bitch Of The West or... wait, I have to miss it to go to orchestra. Crud. No, crud isn't strong enough. Darn. Nah, still too weak. Shit. No, shit isn't strong enough either.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, that does it. (actually, it doesn't, but let's leave it at that, before i get expelled from the blogosphere) Why do I have to continually hang out with people who would be happier if I met my own timely demise? (timely for them not me) I mean, I'd rather jump headfirst into a pit of cock-odiles and ali-gay-tors than hang out with Ilene and TiTi! (And Mr. Sister) I'd rather chew up five dicks than go to school with all of them! I'd rather sit bare-assed on a pile of dog poo than have to spend all day with anybody like that! I'd rather- well, I better stop, as this is getting muy muy disgusting. But you get my drift. I hate spending time with people like that, just as much as they hate spending time with me! You see?
Darn it, I'm hungry.
Unforch, I can't eat anything, cause, since I'm fat, I decided an extreme diet would be best. (extreme for me. For other people, it would be very light indeed) Ugh, how did I get so fat? Everyone else in the family is stick-skinny! Except me. The perfect princess of plumpness. And I used to be so thin! Also, I used to have tiny hips and a very boyish figure! So, all in all, I guess I'm better off like this. I'm just an hourglass that holds more sand, ok? I'm not short OR fat! I'm just... er... economical. Yeah. Really, though, I'd like to stay short. Short and thin, but with big boobs and a nice round butt. That would be perfecto. Buuuuuuuut, I have to be fat. Perfectly fat. Delight. That must be why Roman found his darling Crystal Clay. Jade said she met her, and she was, in quotes, "really nice and pretty". My opposite, huh? Great. I thought fo shizzle I could get someone, but I'm probably wrong. Who likes a whale? (Other than marine biologists, that is, who are impractical since they're presumably quite a few years older than me.) Now I'm jealous of Rukia and Ichigo, because they're together (probably). Nice. I'm jealous of an anime couple. But, seriously! I wish I weren't so friggin fat! If I were thinner or prettier, Roman might have taken notice of me! Although, that is a bit superficial. But still. We're living in the age of materialism. (Isn't it a bad thing to think of yourself as material?) I'm not that fat, am I? I mean, I don't look like Nicki Blonski or anything, but I'm still a bit chubby. Zac tried to say something about this, so I kicked him off the swing (we were at the park). He didn't like it much, I'm afraid, but that's what you get when you let your heart win. Oh, wait, I mean when you insult a girl about her weight. Seriously, I typed that by accident. Paramore is da bomb!
And Hayley Williams isn't fat.
Ugh.
Fat.
So fat I'll probably get an arrythmia and die.
And then everyone will read my blog.
And laugh.
(when it's not appropriate)
And groan.
(when they're supposed to be laughing)
Seriously, kids, don't grow up to look like me. You'll regret it all your living days.
Darn it, I SO want a boyfriend! He can't be a dickhead, though. Eh, fine. He can be a dickhead. I already have such a big inferiority complex (minus the anger issues) that he couldn't inferiorate me any more than I already am. But, hmm. I would like my first kiss to be from a nice guy, because otherwise it seems too tragic. Unforch, there probably aren't any nice guys to be had, because CRYSTAL CLAY TOOK THE LAST ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DARN it! Seriously! Darn it! Darndarndarndarndarnddarndarndarn IT! CHA!
Now I do have anger issues.
Against perfect people.
And against imperfect me.
Perfect.

xoxoxo~♥~

boba tea, baby!

YEAH BANANA! I'm actually drinking a milk tea! it's strawberry, not jasmine, though. I'm using the computer at the boba tea house. Kitty is watching. She got vanilla. (boringggg!) Cha, this is fun! Funner if it werent playing Let It Rock at the top of it's lungs (the stereo system). C['mon, play Pocketfull! Puh-leaze?
I should have gotten jasmine.
Oh well.
YES!
Tomorrow I dont have orcghestra! I dont have to see the I-Hate-Jasmine club until.... oh. Monday. Crud, i have to miss hip hop. Lovely. hiiii! <3 that was Kitty. She obviously thinks it's a good idea to be forever enscribed on this scroll of the ibnternet. i looove boba. That was her again.
There aren['t any hot guys here. I meean, there are guys, but they aint hot. Especially the one next too me, whi appears to be some sort of computer nerdy Pathfinder. With glasses.
Mom['s here! g2g!

crystal clay is a california cow.

Ugh. I hate Chris Brown so bad I hope he gets stuck in the Disturbia prison with red hot chili peppers crammed up his ass and a bucket of green slimy spiders on his head for fifty years. I do. I truly and truthfully do.
And seriously, how could Rihanna still like him after that? Ew. May I never be like that.
Zpeaking of which, do you think I should friend Crystal Clay on F.B? I mean, she shows up as People You May Know. Should I be all self-sacrificingly sweet and be her very best friend? Ick. I bet she knows TiTi. They're probably besties for life, since I bet they have the same personality. Or maybe not! Maybe Crystal Cow-oops I mean Clay is really a great person! Maybe she's the most fun to hang out with of anybody ever! Maybe she's so great that everyone in her school loves just being around her!
... but I doubt it.
Chaaa. I'm being such a bitch. But seriossly. She is too.
So there.
We went to the Chinese Church today. It was fun, but now I'm hungry. I didn't get a lot to eat at the potluck! I was gonna get more, but I felt Mom's dissaproving glare of death upon me. I'm not even fat! I'm just the normal weight and rotundity for a girl of my age! (I read somewhere that I'm two inches shorter, though, which is good. I want to stay short, because it's cute. True, it means I can't be a model, but I don't want to be, cause I love food. And anyway, it helps one's confidence to feel cute, plus it goes well with my ponytails. So there.)
Oooh! I'm wearing a hawt outfit, so I'mma go put on knee high boots and walk around the block. So that people can lurrrve me.
Yay!
Bye!
xoxoxoxo~♥~

50 posts right here, YEAH!

YEAH! 50'th post, baybay!! WOOOO!! ♥ ♦ ♥ &diams

Um.

Eh, orchestra last night was okaaaaaay, it's not like I'm dead or anything, but....
Since it's now March, I am soon going to have to go to Jade's birthday party, along with Fag Bag and Hag The Drag. n
Darn it! Now I have to go to Claremont for dance class! DARN! I SO don't want to! Oh well.
I'll complain about TiTi and Mr. Sister later.
Seeya!
Love you!
Airkiss!
Mwah!
xoxoxo~♥~

i dread orchestra

Ugh, it's so hot! And it's only March.
I went to the park with Kitty and Sungmin, only to find that it was packed with people for (of all things) a soccer game. Not to be daunted by this trivial setback, we made our way up to the swings. I had my back turned to the benches, so I proclaimed loudly, "Sweet! No one's here! Let's go!" suddenly I thought I should turn around. There, sitting happily amused, were two of the meanest girls from church, holding the sweetest guitar I'd ever seen. Great, I thought. Jasmine, you genius. What the heck are you gonna do now? I was interested to find out the answer. What I ended up doing, was looking at them coldly, then walking away with my sexy model walk, making some snide remark about guitars to Kitty. I'm turning into SUCH a bitch. I can't beleive me. Last week, at (disgusto) orchestra, Kelsey was staring at me, then she ventured a shy-ish smile. I thought she was looking at Ilene, so I just stared at her, then turned away. Then, I realized she'd been looking at me. I felt like a total crapball, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. So now, this week, I again get to face the wonderfullness of Lesbian Love. I mean, there's nothing wrong with love, but.... seriously.
I HATE ORCHESTRA!!!
It friggin sucks.
Like a Kirby-ed rug.
And why that is....
Is because it does.
Lovely poem, eh? well, I've got LOTS more up my sleeve! (except I'm not wearing any sleeves, thanks to the heat)
Like...
Orchestra sucks
It's stupid, it's gay
I don't practice the music
So it's quite hard to play.
Orchestra sucks
It's ugly, it's bi
Talking is futile
So I don't even try
Orchestra sucks
It's fuckfaced, it's queer
They've got no more talent
Than anyone here
Orchestra sucks
It's lesbian too
It's dumbassed and pointless
And this is all true.
Great poem, no? I call it Orchestra Sucks. I think it's a masterpiece!
Maybe I should publish it on the CYMO website.
Nyahhh, that would get me demoted faster than you can say fuck!
Which would be good.
Although I can't really get any lower.
Ok, maybe by one stand.
But not really.
I'm on the inside too.
Ha.
I FRIGGIN HATE ORCHESTRA!!!!!!!!!!!
Another reason I'm pissed is because Roman got a girlfriend. It said so on Facebook. Also, he has a picture with her for his profile. Her name is apparently Crystal Clay. She;s probably friends with TiTi. Ew. (Well, I should be grateful it's not a boyfriend, but....) I am SOOO darn PISSED! I can't believe it! And I thought.... welll.... I didn't really expect anything, but....
I think it's because I'm fat.
It must be.
And I'm not gifted neither.
Yes, we went to the Gifted Gathering yesterday.
Thank you, everyone, I feel very inferior now.
Thanks to Mom's your-so-fat
Thanks to Roman and his wonderful Crystal
Thanks to all the gifted bitches and bastards
And last, big thanks to Zac and family, whi helped make me what I am today!
i.e someone with a big inferiority complex.
And a big butt.
And a big stomach.
And a big ugly face.
Well, how do you say it in America?
"Bigger is better?"
No, not that one.
"Nobody's perfect?"
Almost, but not quite.
"Don't worry, everyone, she's one of a kind."
That's the one.
Yup.


xoxoxo~♥~