The world is basically on fire, metaphorically speaking, but probably also literally, given the global response to climate change. It's almost ridiculous how bad things are. Hell of a time for me to start making life-changing future plans, isn't it? Although, given the sociopolitical trajectory of my home country (and frankly, most other countries that I could conceivably move to), I'll probably be dead in about ten years, so I may as well make the most of the time I have. And yes, as a queer and mentally ill PoC, I'll probably die a horrible death, but in the meantime, I plan to enjoy myself and spread as much love and light as I damn well can.
Emily and I have decided to postpone the wedding by a few months. It seems safest, and honestly, I want lots of guests, and I want them to feel comfortable and not have to stand six feet apart and wear masks the whole time, so it works out. And this way, Emily can have her summer wedding, and when we renew our vows next December for the US crowd, I can have my winter wonderland celebration (which, being in California, simply means closed-toed shoes and light jackets for the cocktail hour). Planning has really been put on hold because of everything, but now that we're moving in together (just us, I mean) and planning our future more seriously, it seems like it's time for me to pick it up again. And I adore planning! I love creating the perfect party with the perfect guest list, making everything happen, ensuring that everyone has a good time. Granted, I've never planned anything for myself before, but surely I can do that, too. After all, what is a wedding but a big party? It doesn't have to be super fancy or anything; all that matters is that everyone comes away with good memories, and hopefully a raging hangover the next day. Also, this way, Emily and I can save up more, both for the reception, and for our honeymoon! We didn't think we would get to have one, but I think we can manage it if we plan very carefully. Our apartment is cheaper than we budgeted for, so provided we can get that nailed down (fingers crossed), we can put aside a fund to go travel! I want to go to Japan or Korea, but that would be very expensive, so we may have to wait on that. But Emily wants to go to Greece, and that would be cheaper, since it's in Europe, and it would be so beautiful, and the food, and think of the Instagram pictures I could take! We could also go to France. I have a friend in Paris, and since Emily and I both speak French, it would be a bit easier to get around. And then we might have a mini honeymoon in Vegas after our California wedding, just because that's cheap and easy to pull together, and Emily, being European, is fascinated by it. We were thinking of going for a few days by ourselves, and then having some friends join us for a party weekend. It doesn't seem fair for us to be there together and married and not invite our friends' SOs, though, so I suppose we could bring them along as well! Besides, I like the guys, and it would give them a chance to bond, especially if my brothers wanted to come along (which, it seems like I should at least ask, right, since Talia is coming, and Anselm came with us last time). And the more people there are, the cheaper things are (to a point)! Also, I love big groups. But whatever happens, I know it will be perfect.
I didn't mention the apartment! Emily and I (mostly her) found a beautiful cheap place right in town that's next to one of our favorite bars, the bookstore, the Japanese teahouse, and best of all, McDonalds. It's been a real hassle trying to get the lease, and we've had at least three frustrating phone calls where nothing has gotten done, but we seem to be on the right track now. I don't want to celebrate too early, but I really want this place. It's pretty much perfect, aside from being further away from the grocery store. It has a bookshelf for all of Emily's books, and a big wardrobe for (most of) my clothes, and these gorgeous floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room. The kitchen is small, but we won't be sharing it with five other people, so it probably will work out just right. Part of me wants to go nuts and use the remainder of the security deposit on this place to buy us a bunch of nice pots and pans and cooking equipment, but I know that's not prudent, especially because we can put some of those things on our wedding registry. But I am going to get a new non-stick skillet. That's totally non-negotiable.
Another change that's come to my life-- I'm blonde now! We've all been doing different things with our hair, and I bleached my ends one night, and it looked nice, so I decided to go all the way and do my whole head. And I absolutely love it. I've wanted to be blonde for years, and even though I love my natural color too, I feel so fresh and cool now. I feel like a K-Pop star! Now that I've lost my depression/alcohol weight and gotten my figure back, I really do look like Barbie. I'm considering growing out my bangs, but I'm not sure about that yet. One change at a time. Still, it's pretty awesome, and I feel even more confident now.
The one happening that may not be so exciting is that I'm likely going to have to take another quarter at my university in order to get my MA done. I talked to my advisor, who is an amazing and wonderful man, and he said he would help me try and deal with the bureaucracy involved there. Honestly, if I didn't have the administration and faculty on my side, I don't know what I would do. People are kinder and more helpful to me than I deserve, and I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but it also makes me wonder if it's all some elaborate prank or something. Still, I'm actually somewhat grateful for this, because I was in over my head trying to do my degree in one year, especially during a global pandemic. This gives me a chance to take some time for myself and re-evaluate how I want to go about things. I'm disappointed, because it puts off doing my doctorate for another year, but at the same time, I don't know if I was truly ready for a PhD program. And if I play my cards right, I can get the work experience I need for the fully-funded program at UCL at the same time. Then, we could save up and move to London once Emily is done with her MA, and things would be a lot less hectic and stressful. So it's good, and I'm trying to talk back to the negative thoughts that I'm getting too old, but it's not always easy.
I'm doing a lot better than I was before, though. It's hard to believe how bad I was doing in my teens and early twenties. I don't think I could see it because I was so deep in it, kind of like how you can't see anything in a dark room because everything is dark. But as soon as you turn on a light, you can work from there, and realize that damn, there are at least 1000 ways to die in here. It's weird. I never ever saw myself living this long. But, in the words of that old Christina Aguilera song, Things Keep Getting Better. Or is that the Queer Eye theme song? Either way, I'm glad I didn't die in Georgia, or LA, or Loma Linda, or Ohio, or Loma Linda again, or anywhere. Kitty's tarot reading was right after all; things are going to be okay.

It’s been a long time! I think I need to journal more. Then again, there’s not much to journal about. Life has been pretty flat since we’re still in lockdown, and I haven’t been getting much done. I’m shamefully behind on schoolwork, and I still haven’t found a job. Oh, but we did find a place to live for when our current lease expires in June! Or rather, Emily found it. I didn’t do much. It’s a really good deal, though, and is right in town! How exciting— we’re going to be living together, just us two. I hope it’ll be okay. What if we flounder without the padding of roommates? But no, I don’t think we will. I just need to make sure to keep up to date on cleaning. I think that’s my worst fault as a roommate. So if I do that, and I do the cooking and all that, it should be fine. I’m so excited to decorate! Our current house is pretty drab, so it’ll be absolutely wonderful to make our new place look like home 💖 I just wish I had all my cute decorations. They’re all in California. But maybe they were too cutesy and childish? I’m going to be a professional adult 😤 Maybe I will decorate in gray! Actually, I like gray a lot, so I would be fine with that. Brown, not so much. Like, it’s so boring. It has its place in the spectrum, though.

I just realized My Chemical Romance must have had to postpone their tour this year because of the pandemic. If so, does that mean I could get tickets for next year? Oh gosh! It would be such a dream! I don’t know what I would do! Cry, probably. I would think they would come to London, at least. I know it would be horrendously expensive, but I would hopefully have a job by then. And I would save! I would give up whiskey and fancy cheese! And I wouldn’t even buy a new outfit, even though I would really want to! It would truly be a dream come true. You know, I think I owe it to young baby me. It’s therapy, right? Re-parenting or whatever. Hell yeah.

I wonder what I should make for dinner tonight. We’re a bit tight on money since we have to pay two sets of rent this month (for the house, and the new place).

Okay I’m back! It’s 2:47 AM! I was reading a YA fiction book. It was fantasy, too. Goodness, what has become of me? But I was gripped! Except one of the characters is a really racist white man and his whole “redemption” arc is that he’s horny for the girl he’s racist against, and somehow that makes everything okay 🙄 also, let’s not forget that he didn’t shoot the leader of their gang when he had a chance to even though it would have sabotaged their entire heist and gotten everyone killed! What a man! Fortunately, he dies later, so I have that to look forward to. But it’s a good series on the whole, and I’m looking forward to finishing the second book tomorrow.

It’s gotten very hot all of a sudden. I don’t like it. It’s totally inscrutable to me that some people (like Emily) prefer the heat to the cold. Since I’m always too warm anyway and I barely feel the cold unless I’m sick, I really don’t like it when the temperature is above ~80. One would think that I would have it made coming to England, but sadly, global warming has made fools of us all :( Why don’t European people have air conditioning yet? Like, come on. Embrace hedonism. Keep me from melting. You know?

Tomorrow, I need to do some schoolwork. Like, desperately. I’m behind in the worst way. The problem is that I get panic sweats every time I so much as think about checking my university email. Still, I think I can do it. I have to at some point, so I might as well do it now. Gotta rip that bandaid off and get right back to it. Even though I have not a single clue what I’m doing. My final paper for my prosody class was some grade-A bullshit. I cited Native Tongues again, I mean like come on! I also used a lot of examples from American dialects hoping that my professor won’t fact-check. The perks of being an international student! Still, I probably can’t hope for more than 50% and likely it will be lower than that. Here, that’s passing, though. C’s get degrees, vive l’académie anglaise! 

f

I have an essay due tomorrow that's worth half my grade, and I've only written half of it and have no idea what I'm going to do for the rest. And yet, I can't seem to process the fact that time is limited and that I need to get work done. It's a really boring essay. It's basically a critique of a pre-existing article, and I don't necessarily mind those in some cases, but it's so much more interesting to do my own thing. Like, my assignment for my reading group in Topics in Psycholinguistics. That was fun! I enjoyed that. And I got the equivalent of an A, so it must have worked out. I know I'll be able to finish this thing-- I always do. But I'm not going to enjoy it.
Emily and I (well, I) provisionally booked a wedding venue yesterday. It's lovely! It's small and cozy, but it has a pretty dome and these absolutely beautiful gardens that will be good for pictures. It's not like we're having a massive wedding, so it should be fine. I think we may only have about fifty to seventy-five day guests. I don't know many people in Europe, so most of the guests will be on Emily's end. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've only invited four people separate from our friend group (and then Kaite and Talia, of course). Ren said they may be able to come (with their husband in tow), but they're a busy grad student, and I don't want to assume. But it would be wonderful if they could come! And of course several people have said they'd like to come, but it's hard to get to Europe just for a few days, so I'm not expecting too much. I'm more excited for the US celebration, honestly, and it makes me sound a bit selfish, but all my loved ones are going to be there. And my darlings are going to be there with me as bridesmaids! Or... some of them. Religion got in the way a bit for others. But Buttercup and Jocelynn and Ren and Talia are going to be with me, and Andrea, Natalie, and Kaite will be with Emily! I was on the fence about asking Lily. We're not as close, so it might have been presumptuous, but she's Kaite's best friend, and we're all in a friend group together, so I don't want her to feel left out. But I'll definitely include her in some things! I'm so excited to celebrate with my best girls. I'm going to get them all matching robes to wear while getting ready, and matching necklaces to wear at the ceremony/reception. And I'll probably get them some chocolate or prosecco or something as well, just to round things out.
I'm trying to work on my dissertation now. I finished the essay I need to turn in, but it's stressful, because I think it's really bad :( Somehow, I've just lost my talent for writing! I don't know how it happened, but nowadays, everything I write is pure shit (except for the psycholinguistics one). It's very disheartening. But you know, I just need to work harder. I haven't been writing much lately, so it's only natural that my skills have deteriorated. It will be okay! Maybe I should write something fictional to warm up. It's easier to write when I've been writing for a little while already.
I'm trying to get through some papers on the interaction between relative clauses and prosody because I have a meeting tomorrow with the author of these very papers, but it's making my brain spin like WOOSH! I can't focus on shit lately. I've suspected that I have ADHD for more than ten years now, but no one tends to believe me except Talia. I mean, no. That's not true. Emily believes me, and so do the few friends I've told about it. But doctors tend not to, and I haven't been able to get a diagnosis, or any of that sweet dope to make my brain work like it's supposed to. It's so annoying! I've always coasted by on my intelligence, and I know that makes me sound like a cocky asshole, and maybe I am (but why is it so egregious for female-presenting people to admit to a certain amount of prowess?), but it's functionally true. I've managed everything, not through effort, but through a combination of good luck, charm, and basic braininess. I'm smart and sweet and pretty, and I always get what I want. Maybe that's my superpower-- being the spoiled valley girl. Still, it's a problem now, because I can't even pay my bills on time. I can't focus, and I can't seem to do anything up to my own standards, and it makes me not want to do anything at all. According to my phone, I averaged nine hours of screen time in a single day. That's pretty bad. I just lie around and text people and write fan fiction and go on Instagram because I can't handle the thought of failing at anything, and social interaction and fiction writing are some things that I can't fail at, because I've worked at them enough to be decent. And besides, I'm an extrovert, and social interaction is basically my life blood. I've realized this! I'm an ENFP (the Golden Retriever of the MBTI). I took like five tests, and they all said the same thing. I'm extroverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving. It's quite different from what I used to be (or thought I was). I think I skewed that test, though. I put what I valued, not what I actually was. Or maybe I've just changed. They do say that one's personality doesn't really solidify until adulthood. Be that as it may, though, I'm a bit lonely. I chat with people virtually, but it's not quite the same as hanging out in person. Yesterday, I went to do an errand for Emily at her work, and while I was there, I had a nice chat with the girlfriend of one of her coworkers. It was so nice, and I felt so good afterwards. And then in the evening, I skyped with Kaite! We talked for over two hours without a single pause (as we're wont to do) and it was so lovely. I miss her so much! But thank goodness for technology, allowing us to still be connected.

Get to Know Me!!

Hello hello!! I just realized that I'm 25, and it's time for me to update this post, which was echoed again here, here, and here ! Goodness, I really am getting old, aren't I? All right, here we go.
--
Favorites~
Season: Fall for its excitement, winter for its beauty, summer for its joy, and spring for its hope!
Singer: Maybe Halsey or Ariana Grande? But I've recently been falling back in love with My Chemical Romance.
Song: Sun is Shining by Axwell /\ Ingrosso
Color: Pink
Cosmetic: Aside from chapstick (which is non-negotiable), I would have to say eyeliner!
Animal: Lepidoptera, penguins, and cats!
Food: Sushi, dim sum, or fresh fruit.
Outfit: Now that I've lost so much depression weight, I can feel good in my clothes again! I like to wear a dress and cardigan with heels, but my real favorite outfit is black skinny jeans, black heeled boots, black tank top (that makes my tits look AMAZING), and a black leather jacket, because it gets Emily going LOL.
Perfume: I'm too poor to afford a signature scent, but I've always loved Marc Jacobs Daisy (original).
Drink: Red Bull.
Possession: My phone, laptop, vape, and engagement ring. Some others too, but possessions don't mean nearly as much to me as people do.
Car: My car is in California, an ocean away :'( it's a black manual-transmission Honda, and her name is Raquel and I love her.
Subject: All of them, my goodness. However, my incline is towards linguistics, psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, etc. I also love a good bit of computer programming! I just wouldn't be tempted to read articles in it LOL. 
Book: I've been in a bit of a book slump recently, but Les Mis is always my favorite. I also have an ongoing love affair with Proust and Nabokov. 
Type of person: Honestly, anyone? I didn't think I would say that, but in my experience, everyone is a little better than you think they are. One of my main hoes in the Georgia hospital was a Republican! But it's not that I approve of bigots-- I would much rather spend my time with loving, genuine, caring people who have my best interests at heart.
Type of boy: i.e. person I'm attracted to: Kind, loving, smart, funny, patient, and a bit of a dork.
Game: Scrabble? I don't know, actually! I like drinking games and strip games LOL.
Song on the top ten: Blinding Lights by the Weeknd, or anything by Megan Thee Stallion.
Now my least favorites!
Season: Fall for its anxiety, winter for its despair, spring for its cloying blindness, summer for its emptiness.
Singer: I really couldn't say! I think everyone has merit, even if their style isn't for me.
Song: LOL okay so there was this song in the Sacred Harp hymnal that was basically outlining the reasons a woman should submit to a man, and it wasn't even melodically good. 
Color: All colors have their place in the spectrum, but I don't look good in brown.
Car: I don't think I have one! Though there are some that are products of problematic businesses for sure.
Animal: Animals are innocent creatures! Though I do have a problem with the brand of white people who will treat dogs better than people of color...
Food: Anything flavorless. I also don't like peanut butter, walnuts, bananas, catfish, or anything too sweet.
Cosmetic: Unethical ones. But, just so you know, Kat Von D has been removed from her makeup line, so it's okay to buy that SPANKIN eyeliner again!
Outfit: Everything in my wardrobe is something that I like, and it would be horribly rude to comment on other people's fashion choices!
Possession: Student debt :(
Perfume: I don't like anything too sweet. I prefer more "masculine" scents (love most cologne), or anything citrus or bitter. Vanilla smells nice on other people, but I don't personally like to wear anything that makes me smell edible (it gets to be too much). 
Drink: I don't like piña coladas or getting caught in the rain. 
Book: Hmm, literary tastes vary so much. Personally, I don't like clumsy spec fiction, preachy sci-fi, high fantasy, or pretentious white man books, but that's a personal taste preference.
Subject: I really do believe that every academic subject has its importance. However, I never really clicked with biology. It was cool; I liked it, but it wasn't my thing. However, I would absolutely love to take an entomology class, so maybe it was just a one-off thing.
Tyoe of person: I find it hard to get along with people who don't take me seriously, and with people who actively think I'm A) causing the Coronavirus B) leading impressionable children to their doom C) going to hell.
Type of boy: White Cishet Men, Am I Right?
Game: Boring games that don't have much to do with people. Poker is fun because it has to deal with psychology. Never Have I Ever is fun! Truth or Dare is fun! Spin the Bottle is fun! But things without that human element? Not fun :(

Emily and the others are off at a writer's retreat, so I'm taking the opportunity to have a self-centered night. I ordered some food, and I have some gin and the last of my weed, and I'm vibing. The only problem is deciding what I want to do, because I have too many options, and this is a very limited occurrence. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade cohabitation for anything, but there are some things that one can only do alone.

#sunily is canon!

So, that's the story. I'm getting married! I can't believe it. Like, I truly can barely believe it. The ring was three sizes too big, and we're trying to have it resized right now, so I don't have it as proof. I keep looking at the pictures I took on my phone. (Anselm voice) I can't believe it! Here's a list of questions about us as a couple to see if we're ready to get married LOL okay:

From this lovely list of fiction OTP prompts!

1. On vacation, who likes to do/see everything and who doesn’t mind just relaxing?

I want to do everything; Emily wants to relax

2. Who wants to travel the world and who is a home-body?

We both want to travel!

3. Who likes to dance when they think no one is looking and who grabs them to dance together?

Emily dances by herself; I try to make us dance together (and have!)

4. Who has a giant stack of unread books beside the bed?

Emily LOL this question was made for her

5. Who hoards things? (Not like, Hoarders-style)

Me

6. Who builds garden boxes and who actually gardens?

I won't even go near dirt. Emily likes gardening.

7. Who has to teach the other how to fold a fitted sheet?

Emily should definitely teach me at some point.

8. Who despises the other’s favorite food (Bonus: what is it?)

LOL Emily doesn't like sweet and savory mixed together, or things that are too spicy, and those are my favorite things!

9. Who offers massages when the other comes home from work dead on their feet?

I think both of us.

10. Who’s afraid of thunderstorms?

Emily

11. Who wants to try weed?

I smoke all the time 🍁

12. Who enjoys rainy days and who doesn’t?

We both don't mind them, but I'm the one who prefers sun more

13. Who begs for a pet and who finally gives in? (Bonus: what kind of pet?)

Emily wants the pet!

14. Who makes a chore schedule?

Emily suggests it and implements it; I create it and draw it up on pretty bullet-journal paper with washi tape and stickers.

15. Who has tons of stuffed animals and who swears Mr. Brown Bear stares at them?

We both have stuffed animals! But I have more.

16. Who cooks most often?

It's about equal, but maybe I cook a bit more.

17. Who is too shy to order food and so who actually calls to make takeout orders?

I take care of making the orders, unless I'm feeling anxious, and then Emily does it!

18. Who starts dabbling in witchcraft?

It really could be either of us.

19. Who always turns off the lights as they leave a room?

I do more often, but sometimes I forget!

20. Who plans out romantic nights and who does it spur of the moment?

Emily plans things; I take it as it comes.

21. Who gets up first and makes the coffee?

Me, almost 100% of the time

22. Who’s the vegetarian and who most certainly isn’t?

We both tried being veggie before!

23. Who just started watching gay porn for the first time and becomes obsessed?

We've both been watching gay porn for a long time 🌚

24. Who lays on the other’s chest and who strokes the other’s hair?

Usually Emily lies on me, and I do like to play with her hair! I only tend to lie on her when I'm anxious.

25. Who has more friends then the other?

I have more friends!

26. Who has a higher threshold for pain?

Emily probably does, because it happens to her more often. 

27. Who can’t sleep at night when the other is away?

Emily has trouble sleeping in general, whereas I usually knock out within about ten minutes regardless of where I am, so I'm going to say her.

28. Who does the dishes and who does the laundry?

We take turns with both.

29. Who would rather have Oreos while watching Netflix and who would rather have pizza? (Bonus: preferred pizza toppings for both?)

Emily would rather have Oreos (her favorite pizza topping is corn); I would rather have pizza (favorite topping is pineapple).

30. Who throws the water bottles in the trash bin and who keeps reminding them that THEY GO IN THE RECYCLE BIN?

I think we're both guilty of throwing things in the wrong bin, so we don't really say anything.

31. Who’s always on time and who is always late?

Emily is devastatingly punctual; I have trouble remembering that time exists.

32. (Having just moved in with each other) Who has to get used to the other wearing nothing to bed?

Emily did have to get used to me wearing hardly anything because I overheat.

33. Who replies in an argument, “bite me” and who actually bites them?

I feel like I would say the "bite me," but we don't really argue like that.

34. Who is the more outdoorsy type and who would rather stay in and read?

If it's outdoors like hiking, then Emily, but if it's outdoors like "going out in a place with civilization" then me.

35. Who is ticklish and who takes advantage of it?

I'm not ticklish, so it must be her, but I wouldn't take advantage of it.

36. Who initiates a prank war and who ignores it, hoping that the other will stop?

I think I would be the one to initiate the prank war.

37. Who is deathly afraid of insects and who has to kill them every time because the other is too scared to go anywhere near them?

Emily is only scared of a few insects, so I take care of those, but I don't kill them! >:O

38. Who has placed mistletoe in every room of the house to get in as many kisses as possible and who is exasperatedly questioning ‘this is the 5th time today WHERE IS ALL THIS MISTLETOE COMING FROM?’ before sighing and leaning in

I'm the one who puts the mistletoe!

39. Who bugs the other while they’re trying to get work done?

Me, because I can't focus and it's hard to keep my mouth shut.

40. Who was the first to initiate contact (physical or otherwise)?

I'm more flirty, but Emily is more brave, so she usually initiates.

41. Who is more open about their sex lives? (You decide how to interpret “open”)

Both of us, really.

42. Who constantly steals food off the plate of the other? 

I feel like I would be the one to steal food, but only if she's okay with it or offers.

43. Who knows Bohemian Rhapsody by heart?

I definitely do. I think she does too.

44. Who is more likely to win a sing off?

Me.

45. When confronted by idiots, who stands their ground?

Probably me, to my own detriment.

46. When playing hide and seek, who can’t stop giggling?

Emily, because I play to WIN.

47. Who is most likely to cry while in the theater?

Emily. 

48. What ridiculous task would your otp perform for a Klondike bar? (Both of them)

I would flirt my way into getting an easy task. Emily wouldn't care that much, but would perform any task that she was given with ease.

49. What their nicknames are for each other?

We don't really do nicknames, because we're both too shy, I think LOL

50. What is the most trivial thing they fight over?

Food opinions, probably.

51. Who leaves their stuff around?

Emily, but I do as well to some extent.

52. Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them only for the other to remind them that they’re married

I probably make fun of her.

53. Who becomes a human baby when they get sick?

Emily probably, because I don't admit that there's anything wrong with me when I'm sick until I pass out (but after that, I do become a bit of a baby).

54. If they were to go to the beach, who would lounge under the sun, and who would actually swim?

I would swim more, but we would both play in the water.

55. Who tells the other to quit bouncing their leg/fidgeting?

Emily has to tell me to stop fidgeting !

56. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

We both know each other's orders.

57. Who gets the window seat?

Me, because I get motion sick easily, and also because I feel like she would give it to me if I asked.

58. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it say?)

I leave the notes, and they're sappy and covered in cute doodles and stickers.

59. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

I do, because Emily loses things.

60. Who checks the prices while grocery shopping?

We both do.

61. Who sneaks in cookies in the shopping cart?

Probably me, but only if I'm the one paying.

62. Who would discreetly pinch the other one’s butt in public?

Probably me.

63. Who’s prone to road rage? 

I used to have bad road rage. Emily doesn't drive, so I'm not sure what she would do.

64. Who talks to questionable strangers?

Me, definitely me.

65. Who wears nothing but their underwear around the house for a whole day?

I once spent the whole day naked.

66. Who is more amenable to cross-dressing?

Me. I'd love to pass as a guy sometimes!

67. Who shrinks clothes in the wash?

Me, but I think it could happen to either of us.

68. Are birthday cakes homemade? If so, who makes them?

They are, and Emily makes them.

69. Who deals with the door-to-door Mormons? How do they handle it?

I deal with it, because Emily can't say no to people. I would probably be polite, yet firm, and just tell them we're not interested. 

70. Can they put together something from Ikea together, successfully?

Yes! Emily is good at reading instructions.

71. Who is more forgiving?

Both of us are pretty forgiving. I feel like I do more that needs to be forgiven, though.

72. What would they do if one was bitten by a zombie?

Cry.

73. What do they watch on TV when they are bored?

Emily usually shows me things that I missed out on in my deprived childhood.

74. Who thinks “what a dork I love them so much” more often?

Probably Emily, because I do more dorky things.

75. If they were dogs, what kind would they be?

I would be Emily's dog Kasper, who's smart, but also a dumbass. We've discussed this.

76. What are their favorite emojis? (Both of them!)

Mine is 💖 or 🌚 and hers is 🌹

77. Who pushes the door when it says pull?

Both of us, but I think I would be more likely to.

78. Who doesn’t take sugar in their coffee and who puts in far too much?

Neither of us takes sugar. She likes sweets more than I do, though.

79. Who wears the ugly-ass shoes and who screams “WHAT ARE THOOOOSE?!??”

Her fashion sense is questionable; I love fashion.

80. Who thinks lying is ok to save feelings (just little white lies), and who thinks complete honesty is always morally necessary?

I think she's more okay with white lies than I am, but we both do it.

81. Who tries to convince the other to let them adopt a dragon from the shelter?

Emily would want to adopt it.

82. Who makes the bed?

Both of us.

83. Who makes the other person marathon lord of the rings with them?

Emily, because I never make anyone watch anything (except Les Mis).

84. Who dunks themself into the sea straight away and who inches their way in painfully slowly and takes forever to get their torso in the water

I think Emily would get in, because that's the sensible thing to do, but I would do the inching.

85. Who sent the, “Do you like me? [ ] yes [ ] no” letter?

I was the one who confessed my feelings first.

86. Who is the one who jumps on the suspension bridge and who gets super freaked out and clings to the rails in terror

Neither of us would jump, that's mean.

87. Who would totally and unexpectedly destroy the other in a karaoke battle?

Me, because Emily doesn't really sing.

88. Who fell down the stairs, and who warned you about the stairs

I have fallen down the stairs before, and I will do it again. However, Emily is also clumsy, so it's a bit of a toss-up.

89. Who finds it pointless to hate little, insignificant things and who has a million and one pet peeves that are pretty worthless but they never stop ranting about it? (Bonus: name some of these pet peeves)

Emily is the one with the pet peeves, many of which include works of fiction.

90. Who has to catch the mouse, and who demands it be released outside, unharmed?

We would work together to catch it, and mutually agree to let it outside.

91. Who deadpans their puns and who can’t keep a straight face? (Bonus: include a Banna pun)

I make more puns, but Emily has better execution.

92. Is there a song they both know all the lyrics to? What song?

We both know a lot of musicals songs. 

93. In a heist, who is sneaking around corners and doing barrel rolls while the other one strolls along eating Doritos chocolate biscuits?

I feel like Emily would be all into it, and I wouldn't be taking it seriously at all.

94. Who buys matching ugly sweaters for Christmas?

Probably me.

95. Who knits? (Or is craftier, in general)

Emily for sure.

96. Who makes the best baked goods and who brings the treats everywhere to brag?

Emily makes the food; I bring it and brag and tell everyone the recipe.

97. Who would third wheel the fuck out of your otp

Somehow, I feel like it would be Natalie LOL

98. Who gets stuck in the cat tree and who is too busy laughing to call 911 help the other one out (911 seems excessive for “stuck in the cat tree”)?

I would probably get stuck, but Emily wouldn't laugh, and would call 911 immediately. 

99. Do they have a favorite mutual Disney movie? Do they know all the lyrics to the songs?

Probably Mulan. And of course we do!

100. Who unknowingly says very suggestive things?

Emily says them; I point them out.

101. Looking on their nightstand right now, what reading material would you find for both of them?

Emily likes fantasy and YA novels; I like nonfiction and scientific articles.

102. Do either of them play a musical instrument? If so, which one(s)?

I play violin and viola!

103. Who cracks really bad jokes and who doesn’t have the heart to tell them?

I'm definitely the one making the jokes-- and I DO

104. Who initiates the paint war? Who one wins?

I initiate it; she wins it.

105. Who has the more complicated Starbucks order (Bonus: what is it?)

Neither of us have a complicated order, because we feel bad.