I guess it's the time in my life for writing here again. It kind of makes me sad that I didn't have any entries for 2022, 2023, and 2024, but imperfection is beauty and all that. 

I don't know why I feel so acutely miserable all the time. I live my life in this sort of bleak fog and occasionally veer into panic or deeper dissociation, and when I go outside, I put on my people mask like some kind of fictional psychopath and go out to terrorize the public. and it's fantastic. who would not be utterly entranced by me I mean

I'm not like even that horrible though, in the grand scheme of things. I could be a murderer. Or a republican. i could drive a tesla. I'm literally a normal human being who is convinced to the very deepest core of myself that I'm somehow fundamentally dysfunctional and monstrous. Which is, to be fair, the human condition as I'm given to understand it. 

So, what does one do in this situation? Eat cereal with ice cream, smoke weed, and think about one piece. 

as the ancients did before me.