I'm kind of afraid that I'm asexual because I don't want to do it. Like, it seems gross to me. Making out, kissing, hugging, etc, sure, but if you have to go all the way, why do you want a boyfriend in the first place? It seems like once you get laid, you're relationship goes down the drain. I mean, just see all those people on Datingish who finally do it with their SO's, and then the relationship is completely f*cked up (pun intended). I want to stay a virgin until I get married. Maybe it's cause I've been going to church since I was born, or maybe it's because I have an old school family, but I don't want to do it before we exchange our rings. (am I repeating myself?)
So, does that mean I'm asexual or bi?
PLEASE, NO!!!!!!!!!
I just realized, if my mom ever finds this blog, like she found my other one, she's gonna be verrrrrry shocked at the PG 13 content! What the hey. I'm almost fourteen. I can write whatever I want. Plus, this is my blog, not hers, so I'm the one who gets to decide what I put in it and what I leave out.
I don't want to go to the library today! It sucks! Plus, last time, some creepy guy pulled out of his car and began to holla at me, so we had to wait at Coldstone for a while, and then I had to treat everyone to ice cream. Ok, I don't know if he was hollaing at me, he may have just felt burdened by the confines of his hideous 1986 or so Oudi, and had to come out and yell for awhile, or maybe he was simply expressing his joy upon being human on such a nice night. (It was a nice night). So, I don't want a repeat of this.
Another thing, is that one of the librarians seems slightly creepy to me. I mean, he's large, awkward, ugly, frumpie, and seems like the kind of childish adult that would maybe be a psychopath. Ok, I'm being unfair. Not a psychopath. Maybe just a path. But still, you know how I have this talent to absorb people's feelings and awkwardness'es? So, when I even see a awkward person, I feel awkward too. (It can be handy too, like knowing how people feel, but mostly it's annoying. Like, I even get the awkward feeling when I read Twilight! And, fyi, Twilight, especially Edward, pisses me off to the extreme). Therefore, I want to stay home. If I stayed home, then I could do some more recording, and also make some food for the ungrateful in this household (i.e everybody). So, maybe I can play sick or something, although it didn't really work last time, mostly because I didn't play sick, I just begged not to go. Mom, unfortunately for me, is of the opinion that teenage girls should have lots of excersize. Which sucks. But at least now I get to take hip hop.
Oh man, Ilene is driving me crazy! The way she sits there in rehearsal with that smug/innocent little smirk, silently dissing me. And, the way her bestie Kelsey is staring at me practically the whole rehearsal, except when she's playing. Really, it's very confusing! One minute, she's lip reading over my head to Ilene, the next she's staring at me, with a little smile, like we're best friends. Or, she's just staring at me like I have mascara dripping halfway down my cheeks. It's almost driving me wild, sitting there without a mirror to make sure my makeup isn't completely screwed, and having practically everyone in the whole room (girls and boys alike) looking at me like I'm the Best/Worst Dressed page. It's enough to make me want to quit!
Plus, yesterday, I was in the store befroe rehearsal, and then mostly girls were staring at me too. If it were boys, I wouldn't notice so much, because I've gotten used to it, since I have such enormous boobs, but if chicks were staring at me? I thought I might unconsiously have a hooker symbol on. But, I changed before orchestra. It must be because of my right eye. See, I have the typical white person eyes, but also sort of Asian, with a small crease, but sometimes when I'm asleep, the crease gets a little bigger, so my eyes don't match. It happened yesterday, and I didn't think it was very obvious, especially since I disguised it with gold eye pencil, but it must have been. Unless... do you think it's an epidemic of gay-ness? There's nothing wrong with that... except that it's hilarious!! Do you think it's TiTi's fault???? It must be!!! She said she walks around holding hands with her best friend! EW! That's just wrong! She said she's not bi, but I bet she is!!! That's hilarious! SHE"S BI!!!!! NYAAAAHHHH!!!!
At any rate.
I didn't think Kelsey would be bi. Besides, even if she were, I don't think she'd hit on me, even though I did look pretty dang adorable last night. I mean, I'm stupider than the whole orchestra, and mostly everyone's prettier (or handsomer, in the guy's cases) than me, so what's with the bi contact? (eye contact)
Annoying....
On the bright side, I did get two friend requests on FB yesterday! One was a boy in my orchestra who I met last year, and one is Crystal's brother. (Crystal got one too, a FB I mean)
I'm up to 65. Quite the socialite, am I not?
Cut me some slack! It's hard to meet people when you're under house arrest!
I have the vague feeling someone might be calling me, but I don't know, as I'm listening to Chasing Cars as loud as I can to cut the jumpieness. (When you feel like you can't sit still, or else you'll blow up, listen to loud music.) (Although, Snow Patrol is not really the best choice. Paramore is better.) G2g! I think they'll be home soon! Byeas!
xoxoxo~♥~
No comments:
Post a Comment