first post of 2010~

It's the last day before my birthday, so I thought I should probably say something.
So....
It's been kind of a long break. Also, kind of a pain. I'm so bored... I don't see how I managed to be home schooled for so long and not die of unnatural and completely avoidable causes. (The causes being lack of social contact, and abject and total boredom)
So now, I just realized that I sound and act like a typical public school girl. (Hey, if you take the L out of "public" you'll get...?) (Listen, I'm still 14. I have only one day to finish up making immature sex jokes!) But.. where was I? Oh yeah. Ok. So I sound and act like a typical high school girl, when just a few months ago I was as individualistic as Lady Gaga's red carpet wardrobe. (Or was I...?) But the point is that I have completely been changed and that's PROBABLY not a good thing. Why shouldn't it be, though? Cause I'm just me... and people really do evolve out of change! (And that's NOT what I meant, to all of you conservative, stick-up-your-ass people like my dad. I meant that people become who they are through a period of change and development and that if no one developed it would be rather a problem. Not that we all came from fish, monkeys, worms, George Bush, and whatever other prehistoric animals you can think of.) (No disrespect meant to George Bush, of course. I'm sure he was quite popular back in his day. He could cook up quite a primordial soup, or so I've heard.) So there.)
So why is it a problem that I've changed? And I'm still and individual, too. If you think I'm going to turn into someone like Mira, you are greatly mistaken. For one thing, I don't think I would look very good blond. For another thing, her fashion sense is HORRIBLE and I wouldn't be caught dead wearing 99/100's of the things she wears. Also, she doesn't really wear makeup, and she NEVER experiments with her hair, and I'm still too klutzy to play soccer or volleyball or whatever completely plastic sport she chooses to pass her time with. (I think it's soccer. Yes, I'm pretty sure it's soccer. She keeps talking about it. Loudly. And no, it's not that I want to listen, it's because she imposes all of her white soccer gal-ness into the atmosphere so that one can't help but listen. Also, that her voice is as loud as hell. But that's another story.) AND her personality is to die for. (And by this, I mean that if anyone else had it, they would die of embarrassment.) So all in all, I'm pretty lucky that I am not her. Oh! And if I were her, I'd have to hang out with Preppy, Preppier, Preppiest, and Annoying Jerk! Which would suck your boyfriend's dick. So I am VERY thankful, right as of now.
But back to the original question... why is it bad that I've changed? Sure, I'm a little scarier now then I used to be... I never wear pink (Although I'm wearing it now, which is VERY embarrassing and I hope no one outside of my immediate family sees me) and I pile on the makeup every day, but I'm not that different. I still draw non stop and love music (although both styles are kind of different now) and I still play violin (Although I really hate it), and I'm still friends with everyone who I was friends with when I was home schooled. So I'm really not that different. And I sure as shit ain't no fuckin emo!!!!!!!!! Kitty thinks I am. She says things like, "Think about it! You cut yourself, you wear black, you only listen to heavy metal and screamo, you're depressed, you sit in the rain depressedly, you're mean to lots of people, you cuss a lot, and you're short! And you have greasy hair!" To which I must say, Kitty dear, you are wrong on many counts. First, you wear black too. Second, I don't just listen to heavy metal and screamo, I also listen to hard rock or gothic stuff, and sometimes even pop, like All Good Things Come To An End or Simple Plan. Third, I also walk around in the rain, and this doesn't make me emo because it's extremely fun to do. Fourth, there is nothing wrong with cussing or being mean/ caricaturing to people, as long as they deserve it. And the objects of my affectations definitely do. Fifth, my hair is NOT greasy, and I wash it all the time to make sure it does not become that way. And last but not least, WHY THE EFF DOES BEING SHORT MAKE ME EMO??!!! Also, being short does not make me stupid, ugly, annoying, bratty, rude, selfish, unsuccessful, bawdy, or anything else. Kitty must have banged her head against the wall one too many times when she was little.
So there.
I have fully dissected my personality, and no emo! It just ain't there!
Oh yeah! I finally got rid of my psychologist yesterday. Really, they are SOOOO easy to fool! I threw in corny little lines like, "And what is most important is that one accepts oneself the way one must be accepted" and "I know lots of people have never seen a girl who is pretty AND smart, so they don't really know what to do with me, but I must work on breaking down their stereotypes to help lead us into a better community." and she was nodding and smiling, and practically sobbing with pride and joy, and I mean, SEXY SHIT!!!! How gullible is she ANYWAY???? Who would actually say something like "one accept oneself" or "breaking stereotypes to lead us into a better community" outside of a Sweetie University welcome speech by the Healthy Hearts, Healthy Minds committee? And does she actually think that I fully believe myself to be smart and pretty and am well enough aware of it to proclaim it to any capable minded person who happens to bring the subject of conversation near enough to garner a response of the type? IT'S DOWNRIGHT HILARIOUS!!!! I was using my best plastic voice the whole time too. It was so funny I could hardly stand it.
Well, that gets HER off my back! Now to get Kitty to do the same.
Yesterday I went over to Eleanor's house. (It's so amazing that she lives right on my street!) DANG her brother is FINE! Too bad he's taken. His girlfriend was there. I tried hard to contain my disappointment.
All was going well, until Mom called me, like five times to make me come home. (She didn't know that I was just up the sidewalk, practically a condom's throw away) She made me go to CKC Muzak, which was the first one of the winter semester (Also of the year). I disliked it. I had to teach three little girls who seemed to think that I was their personal entertainment system and refused to learn what I wanted them to. (Well, one of them did actually learn the G major scale I taught her, so that is something.) (And they did learn stuff, just not what was in the lesson plan. Like, the first note of the Handel concerto, and also how to pluck the G string and move up your finger to make a really slidey sound. Roman taught me that one.) (I gather they also learned how to stall the teacher.) And they were very smart and pretty nice, so it wasn't too bad. But the time I tried to teach the sulky pre-teen rebel-without-a-cause? UGH! He was scared of me, as all men are, so he played what I told him, but he also did it as badly as possible, and was very pouty about it. SO ANNOYING!
Oh well. At least I got to see Justin there.
Not that I got to talk to him, but whatever.
Oh yeah! That old guy from Misery Ensemble is moving, so he's giving me his six students. (I think). At ten dollars a lesson, that's.... Oh, swoon. Sixty dollars a week? And I also teach Karina and Sungmin's little buddy, so maybe like seventy? And sometimes eighty? I AM GONNA BE RICH! GONNA MAKE UP WHAT I SPENT IN LITTLE TOKYO!!
Did I mention? I went to Little Tokyo for new years with Crystal, Jade, Kitty, and mom. And Halmoni, and Crystal's mom too.
I spent like 100 bucks. AWESOME!
I get to stay home alone today! Except the babyshitters are coming. What a pain! I tried to convince my parents that since I'm almost 15, I shouldn't have to have babysitters, but they wouldn't hear of it. Annoying dictatorliciousness.
Oh well, guess that's it! Bye!

xxxx 愛

i am now all robotic. =.=

It's my last post of 2009...
I thought it might be good to say something.
Um, ok...
I'm going to little Tokyo tomorrow...
TiTi is coming and idk if Crystal can. Ugh.
Anyway, I guess... that's it?
Bye.
xxxxxxxxxxxx

somehow, this is not motivating.

now why would that be?

see more deMotivational Posters
Happy Break!
lol
Ok....
I really shouldn't be happy, and I'm not.
Mark and his gf broke up and he has been texting me non stop all day....

oh no

Oh no... I have orchestra in an hour or so. Or rather, I have to leave for orchestra in an hour or so, because I have to go early and set up, and not only that, I have to ride with Mr White Boy I-Hate-Everyone-Who-Isn't-Full-Blooded-American Anthony (who DARES to share a name with my homie who made retreat bearable!). And so I am not looking overmuch forward to this wonderful system of carpooling. It seems to be a blight on the fabric of my blighted life, a fly in the ointment of my buggy existence. It's not my first choice of how to spend a lovely Sunday afternoon.
Besides, it's the last day before I have to go to school.... and how perfect is that? Instead of frolicking happily in fields of wildflowers and drinking coffee and painting my nails and etcetera, I get to go sit inside a stuffy old room with eighty pretentious musicians who all dislike me, playing my violin which also dislikes me, and listening to a pair of old people drone on about how music is essential to life, particularly classical music as played by their perfectissimo orchestra. And they also dislike me. (On one point, however, I do agree, music IS essential to life, just maybe not The Light Cavalry Overture and Marche Millitaire Francaise. Ya get me?

i love rain!

Oh no....
Vacation is now over.... That's really depressing. Actually, I really do have one more day, but as I have to go to bed early and do homework that may have previously slipped through my fingers, it really is not that much of a vacation day, is it?
Well... Christmas vacation is coming in a few weeks.... but before that we have finals, probably the school system's way of making sure you don't enjoy your break thoroughly. I'm actually frankly quite scared. Especially for bio.
So.... let us see.
I have, on the same days,
P.e and English
Geo and Spanish
Gay-o and Health
LOVELY who made up this perfect schedule anyway??!
Actually, you know, it's not bad. I have a hard test and an easy test on the same day, AND Gay-o is last so I can at least cram for it all week. And after that? VACATION, BABY!
Jade, Kitty, and I want to go to Victoria Gardens. I might invite Crystal too.
Also, Mom wants to take me and Kitty to Korea town, and we also want to go to Pasadena to go shop at the cheap outlet stores. Then, we also want to go shopping in Ontario Mills. (At least Kitty and I do.) Bonnie wants us (the lunch group) to go to her house and watch Star Trek. (For some reason, I couldn't convince them to see New Moon. Weird, huh? But at least Star Trek has that dude Luke Skywalker. He's probably pretty smokin'. And doesn't he fall in love with 7Up? Or whatever her name is. Or was that Laila? Or Jane Way? Hmm, I'm not really too sure. I better just keep quiet when I'm around the Trek Heads.)
Yesterday, or actually for Thanksgiving, Cousin David (as he is now colloquially known) and his gf Elizabeth came to visit. It was sooo fun! Elizabeth is very pretty. She also has a remarkably high voice. She's pretty shy, though, although she eventually warmed up. Kitty and I were debating whether or not the two of them had done it yet. She thinks from behind. I think just the traditional way, and with nothing fancy. Just in-and-out. (Thank goodness they had separate rooms while they were here, educational as it may have been otherwise!)
Oh yeah! It rained very heavily today! Soooo happy!
Wow, this entry sounds just like the old me. How scary. Almost makes me forget I am both a clumsy little goth girl and an emo slut. (Maybe Mira really is blond. How the eff could I be both?)
Anyway, Sungmin (who turned nine yesterday and is exceedingly proud of the fact) is being a total pestilential brat, so I better go. Also, I still have homework from a week ago. Bye!
xoxoxo~♥~

convict me, please, of cruelty to preps

Darn it, vacation is getting to me! But I don't want to go back to school.... No, I don't. I'm scared! I'm scared to go to school. Wow, I sound like a little kid. Oh well.
It's the truth.
I DON'T want to have to hang out with those awful preps anymore! They just make me feel ill. It's like they're trying to repulse people with their noxious odiousosity. (Or idiocy. Whichever you prefer.) I honestly think they're out to take over the whole school. Which would be like a zombie attack, if you ask me, because not only are they scary, cannibalistic, acrimonious clones of each other, they are out to take over the world and kill people. Messily. (Because social death is never a pretty thing.) Although, I think even a zombie attack would be preferable to this. With that, at least, we could hug each other, cry in corners, run away screaming, cancel school indefinitely, and eventually build a giant zombie-banishing missal that would blast off to outer space and take the vile flesh-eaters with it. It seems like a good plan to me! Unfortunately, the zombies in this situation are dressed in Abercrombie and Fitch and play soccer. If we blasted them out into outer space, not only would it be a violation of the sanctity of human rights, but several athletic coaches be out of a job, and many malls would lose their Hollister outlets due to lack of business. Which would be bad for the economy. So it is my noble and patriotic duty to let the evil preps reign supreme and occasionally let me overhear a sop of gossip about the emo sluts who deem it necessary to hang around the school and try to get an education ohmiGOSH isn't that awful and WEIRD!? And did you see her outfit? S-luttttyyy! She must think she's like the queen of all the sluts in the world or something! Oh my gosh, totally. And when I was at soccer practice yesterday, I saw the hottest guy and he was soooooo hot and ohmigosh he was like so tall and OHMIGOSH he said hi to me! Isn't that like the coolest! Hey, I need to copy your answers.
And that, dear friends, is what I am subject to every single day! Although generally it's not even that interesting. Most times, it centers around the soccer team roster, and who brought what water bottle to what game, and how the scores were tied with the other team during the scrimmage, and lovely SHIT how do they find so much conversation over so LITTLE????!!!! Sometimes, the guys get in on it, and when they're not calling the preppiest girl a blond (which I HATE to hear because it reminds me of Mark, and also I'M supposed to be the blond hear, and don't you forget it!), they're discussing the different ways that they should go enjoy their preppy little asses. One of them, this little man named, as far as I can tell, Rook, is SO NAUSEATINGLY ANNOYING that I can hardly stand to look at his ugly little face! He almost literally makes me ILL. I cannot lie. He is just so REPULSIVE. Also, this asshole named Daniel is SO irritating I can hardly stand it! Here are the main points of his irritating-ness.
1. He wears skinny jeans, and he wears them unabashedly! How irritating is that???
2. He frequently makes allusion to "blond moments" and "the dumb blonds I know". HeLLO, emo slut still trying to get over cause of emo sluttiness over here!
3. He has an annoying accent. Although, it's not really an accent as much as sounding like a wiseass all the time.
4. He always casually bumps into me and finds occasion to follow me everywhere and then make me uncomfortable merely by being his preppy, skinny-jean wearing self.
5. He has odd girlfriends. You know, you are what you eat...
6. He has odd friends in general! Which is creepy! It means he himself is odd. (Although one can tell that from his attire.)
7. He treats me like shit when he's with his charmingly preppy friends, and then when I go to tutoring and he's there (NATURALLY) he treats me like I'm his Favorite Buddy Of The Day.
8. He sometimes smiles at me in such a knowing, we're-in-this-together, I'm-not-about-to-let-you-get-eaten-by-the-ravenous-sharklike-zombies-who-happen-to-be-my-very-best-friends-in-all-the-world-so-you-can-relax manner that I feel like pissing my pants in annoyance! (Which is highly unladylike, so, as you can imagine, I do restrain myself from doing so. Although, to do so would be suitably emo in an I-don't-care-what-the-eff-this-joint-has-to-say-about-me-I'm-gone sort of way.)
9. He constantly talks-loudly- about the different girls he likes and what he wants to do to them later. (All right, to be fair, I have never heard him say that, but, as he is a guy, he must be at least thinking those things, if not uttering them aloud.) This would not annoy me, except he already has poor wittle blond Mira strung along on his playa string. (Which also does not bother me, because she is the preppiest of them all. And not only that, you haven't heard annoying accent until you've heard her talk. DANG it's annoying! She has a way of pronouncing the letter "a" so that it's the most grating sound in the world. And she just sounds so white... Ugh, I'm not even going to get into it. It'll take all night. And don't even get me started on her fashion sense! Girl, Uggs ain't hot ant they never will be, so you can march right on over to Urban Outfitters (or the poor homeless person on Citrus Avenue) and give 'em right back. And the same goes for those AWFUL pants! Don't you have a decent pair of jeans? No? Not even a pair that covers your ankles or stops at your knees where it is supposed to? Ah, my condolences. Well, good thing you have all those perfecto cargo pants then.) *Roll of eyes* Anyway.
10. He is SUCH a smartass! Can't stand it! The only one around here who is allowed to be a smartass is me, because I am the only one perhaps in the entire room who is capable of finishing every assignment, by myself, in under twenty minutes. So there. Not that the preps openly copy from me. To do that would be to admit that an emo slut is smarter than them, and dear me, you can believe it would be a cold day in the-you-know-what before that would happen! But still.
Anyway, I'm tired of trashing on the preps. It's just so lame when they can't fight back by showing their snotty little faces to me. (Looking at them makes my eyes wanna pull out that glove and declare a duel right then and there!)
So. What now.
Hmm.
I fpund New Moon on line and am watching it now. Jacob and Bella are shhooooooooo cyyyyuuuuuuuuuuute together! *sob*
And Taylor Lautner is the super hottiest chunk of love I've ever seen! MWAH!
Oh, supper time.
Bye.

xoxo~&hearts~

Papa...paparazzi....
I'm at da boba teahouse! <3
Cause of my lovely score on da geo test! Mwah!