Wanderings of a wandering eye

Well, it's my mind that's wandering, really, but that doesn't have the same ring to it, does it? And my eye might wander, given time.  You never know.

Today, Austin came to CKC. Dude, what. Man, I didn't really expect him to come, so when I saw him coming up, my stomach dropped. So did my jaw. He's so gorgeous, man! Wow, that sounded like one of these dubious romance novels, and it wasn't even supposed to. I could become a writer one day.

Rose walked slowly through the decrepit parking lot, the cold, black, metal music stands in her arms echoing the state of her heart. Why, she thought, with a dejected sigh, is there no love in the world? Just then, her wandering and sorrowful eye fell upon the other side of the parking lot, like an anchor on the sea, and her heart gave a tumultuous leap. She half expected an angel choir to start singing and the CKC kids to start playing in tune, for there, looking effortlessly glamorous, in his non-egotistical Narcissus-esque glory, stood Dallas. Rose gulped. Maybe there was love in the world after all.

Actually, that's quite good. I especially liked the bit about his "non-egotistical Narcissus-esque glory." I mean, Adonis is so overdone, obviously Narcissus is better. Anyway, where was I? So, Austin really came, and he brought me Starbucks! There weren't any guitar kids for him to teach, so he stayed with me while I taught some of the little girls. One plays viola, one plays violin, and one "plays" violin, but none of them are terribly preoccupied with behaving nicely. So poor Austin, besides running errands for me, had to be the court jester for these atrocious little children. He was quite patient, I must say. I don't know how he put up with it. I managed to get some good teaching done, though, since he distracted the others while I taught one, and the time really went fast with him there. I was so worried that he was going to get mad at me for exposing him to the horrors of the program, though, it was almost hard to concentrate (fortunately, I don't need my whole mind to do my job). Oh man, I'm such an awkward individual though! I couldn't stop acting like some kind of congenital dorkfish, and make myself behave normally! It was terrible. It made him act awkward, which made me feel uncomfortable, and then I got even awkwarder. Blah. And you know, the worst part is, I'm not usually awkward! I'm shy, and sometimes I get into situations where I can't bring myself to speak, but I usually don't make a fool of myself, and especially not around guys! So I don't know what's going on here. Maybe I like him. Now wouldn't that be an interesting development? I could finally relate on a personal level to all my favorite love poems, and even the ones I didn't like before would take on a special value for me! Maybe I could even write some of my own (that don't mention Call of Duty or orcs)! It would probably be quite a good thing for everyone. So do I like him? I don't know. Maybe just a little. But I digress. So, we managed to teach the little brats, and then it was over. We chatted with him in the parking lot a bit, but we finally had to leave, so we did, and that was that. I feel like I did a terrible job overall. What if hated it? What if hated me (and still does)? This is really stressful, y'all don't even know. Awhile later, he texted me and said he was sorry for being so awkward, and that he liked it, so I guess that was good. He also said he wrote me a song, but he didn't get a chance to sing it for me, because he got nervous. Apparently, my eyes were too nice. Well... I suppose even if he looked that one up on the internet, it shows initiative. What do you think? I wonder if he really did write a song for me. That would bring my tally up to two. And two poems. All by different people, of course. I hope he did write a song, and I hope he gives me a copy, for I would like to analyze the lyrics.

Ah, young love.

I finished the sequel to Cannery Row today! It's called Sweet Thursday. I feel like a fraud, because I haven't actually read Cannery Row, and here I go talking about it, but I suppose that's what happens in this sad life. Anyway, it's really cute. I never thought I'd read a happy Steinbeck novel, but it's possibly one of the most lighthearted things I've read for awhile (which, considering my reading list, isn't really saying much). Dad looked through a few pages and pronounced it "impious," but by that time, I was too far gone to stop. And I don't think it's nearly as bad as some of the things he reads on the internet. Oh, speaking of books! I finished The Brothers Karamazov yesterday, and it was so sad! I mean, I guess it ends semi-hopefully, with Alyosha imparting moral lessons to the boys and all, but I mean, Ivan's lying on his deathbed, and Dmitry's been sentenced to Siberia, and Smerdyakov (whom I didn't like, but that's the point I guess) and little Ilyusha are dead, and Katerina and Grushenka and Ilyusha's parents are possibly crazy, and, like, what are we supposed to do here? The end seemed so abrupt, too. Maybe I'm just missing it all. That could definitely be the case. I do get too caught up in books and act like a complete snob, and that's bad. People are probably pretty sick of it. Be that as it may, I started reading Thus Spake Zarathustra, and it's so interesting! Not very pious, as Dad would say, but I think it's good to read things from different points of view. And a lot of the ideas are similar to Dostoevsky's too! It's fun to draw parallels between the two. Again, though, I might be doing it all wrong, and I might look like an idiot. Francisco certainly seemed to think so. He didn't reply when I started holding forth. Ugh, I'm a pretentious jerk! I really thought it was fascinating, and I wanted to share, but somehow, no one wants to talk about these things with me. Maybe I should read up on my sports teams and terminology, do you think?

I started making a list of items I'll need to pack for college. It doesn't seem quite real, somehow. It's like when I went to Korea in eighth grade. It felt like I was just playing make-believe until I was sitting in the plane and the pilot was telling us we were on our way to Seoul. In this case, I probably won't be able to grasp it until after I settle into my schedule and classes are under way. It's just too weird! I mean, here I am, silly little Jasmine, connoisseur of art and literature and music and not much else (well, not even connoisseur, really, but "devotee" isn't enough and "expert" is too much), not possessed of overmuch emotional maturity or even the ability to talk comfortably with strangers, and I'm going off to live in a foreign land where I don't know anyone at all! What am I doing? Oh man, this is going to be such a shock when it finally sinks in, I don't even know what I'll do. Maybe I'll write a novel and become famous and rich and have to do book signings all over the country. We've already established my prowess. At least I'll have my beloved Daisy Bell to comfort me in my hour of need. Nothing can be beyond redemption as long as there's the internet, right?

I stepped on a thorn today. Now my foot hurts. It's right on my big toe, too, I mean, how unromantic can you get? If I had to have a wound, it should really be on a nice, polite, portion of my anatomy, like my arm or something. But toes just seem a trifle undignified. I hope it doesn't get infected and swell up or anything; I have enough trouble with my outfits as it is without having to go around barefoot all the time. What if I had to go to Urgent Care? I'd be there for hours and hours! I think I'd almost rather have the health problem. Speaking of health problems, I edited the abstract for Mom's paper today. She wanted me to have a look-over to see if the grammar was correct and whatnot, but I thought she wanted a proper editing job, so I took a red pencil and went right to it. Now, I might be pickier than is strictly necessary, but Mom's students are almost worse at writing than are the kids in my English classes. The poor paper was blooming with graphite (or wax, really, I suppose) when I was done, and Mom wasn't too plussed. I gather she'd helped to piece together some of the paragraphs when the students got stuck (which, judging from their apparent skill at writing, was probably often), and I'd stomped all over her work with complete callous indifference and a few cries of "awkward wording!" That can't be pleasant for anyone, oh no. I sure did have fun before I knew whose it was, though!

I'll have you know, though, Mom is a PhD, and is one of the smartest people I know. So don't y'all be thinking that I'm thinking she ain't thinking! 

So there.

Man, my eye really itches. What is up with that? Maybe I have pinkeye. I hope not. It sounds so unpleasant. I'd have to take antibiotics and such. Well, I mean, that might actually be pretty interesting, but it would be a pain to take care of all the same. Now that you mention it (not that you did), I've been looking downright hideous lately! First, my bangs were too long, and wouldn't stop leaping all over my head like incontinent gazelles, so I cut them. Now they're the right length, but they make my face look round and babyish (which, admittedly, doesn't take a miracle to do). I keep trying different things with the rest of my hair, but so far, none of it seems to be working. I'm going to have to buy a wig if this keeps up. You know, why did that ever go out of fashion? Wigs were fun. People never had to have bad hair days. Of course, the upkeep couldn't have been a breeze, and I wouldn't want to wear one everywhere, but still. Maybe they went out with Marie Antoinette. Oh, or else, maybe everyone who wasn't in the Whig party got tired of having their opponents in everyone's foremost thoughts and on their heads and put a stop to the madness. Really, there should be quite a few good jokes in there. I shall have to think them up and tell them to anyone unfortunate enough to be around me.

Now, though it pains my nocturnal heart to say it, it is quite late, and I should be off to bed. Bon soir, mon amour, and I hope you dream in French much better than mine!

That's actually a cute thought, aww.

Okay, goodnight.

My life lately

Cuz it's late you see! Oh man, I'm so funny. Why don't I have any friends?
I've finally picked my classes for this semester, I think. Man, it sure did take a lot of effort. A lot of the ones I wanted to take aren't being offered until spring, and a lot of the other ones conflicted with each other. In particular, the opera class Mom is making me take conflicted with every single one of the literature classes except for one section of Colonial and US Lit. So guess what I'm taking! I really wanted British Lit 1800-present, but I suppose as long as I'm taking an English class at all, I'll be happy. I don't really know about this music minor Mom is determined I should have. It's really very inconvenient. I need to take a lot of extra classes and lessons and things, and they all interfere with each other (and with everything else, too). I don't see how on earth I'm going to pull this off. I suppose I should count myself lucky she doesn't want me to minor in thermonuclear microbiological enzyme studies or something. But I like the classes I have, for the most part, even though I'm really disappointed that I couldn't take the political science class I wanted. I was really excited to be able to take Global Politics, but Voters and Elections fit my schedule and the GE requirement, so that's what I'll be taking. I'm sad, but I feel lucky to be able to take political science at all, so my feelings are mixed here. I'm also taking a logic and linguistics class, which looks really interesting and useful, and one of my core linguistics classes. And of course, either choir or orchestra, and then voice or violin lessons (depending on which ensemble I get into). I didn't want to load up on too much my first semester, just so I can get settled in, which seems like a really lame attitude to take, but there's not much more I can fit into my schedule, and anyway, college really might be different from high school, and it really would be bad to flunk out. How many credits am I taking, though? If each of my classes is three, then I have fifteen already. Orchestra is either one or two (and choir is the same), and lessons are one. So that's seventeen or eighteen credits! That's pretty good, I think! If I want more, I have to pay (like Zac did). Now it just remains to schedule the classes. For some reason, I couldn't do it tonight. I'm going to see if I can call my advisor tomorrow, although she really has been less than excellent at answering her phone. Maybe we have to pay first. That could be the case. Everything's so expensive! It's horrible. Why can't we be free to be?
We went to the swap meet today, all of us. Sungmin wanted shoes, and so did Kitty, and I wanted to look for clothes. Mom had to take us, but Dad wanted to come too, so off we all went to be the biggest gringos in the county. It was great, though. We haven't been there in a long time, and I'd forgotten how good the prices are. I'd also forgotten how terribly hot it is to walk around, and I felt like the worst kind of raisin in the sun by the end, but I got to shop for deals, and that makes up for everything. I spent seventeen dollars, which makes me feel kind of guilty, but it's all for a good cause (me), so maybe that's all right. I got a really darling peach colored lacy, silky, dress, three pairs of panties, a bra, an art history book, a complete collection of Shelley's works, The Glass Menagerie, and a really badass dark blue journal with a metal dragon on the front which makes me feel supremely cool. So all in all, I think I got some good deals! Kitty got these really cute heels, but they're too small for her, so she gave them to me.  She also got a leather jacket and some shorts and a bottle of water, because it really was a hotter situation than the Raft of the Medusa (get it cuz hot water lol so hilareeous ohoho). I shouldn't really have bought so much, especially not the books, because I can't bring them to Ohio with me, but really, what was I supposed to do, leave them there? I'm trying to figure out how many books I can bring to Ohio with me, actually. I can put a few in my violin case (the top part is weirdly small, so I have to put my music in my suitcase), and maybe a few can go in my bags. But I don't see how I'm going to bring my giant volume of poetry, and that is a rank travesty. I keep it under my pillow (with seven or so other books), and I read it often. Shall I have to buy a Nook or something? Mom is coming with me, even though I told her she didn't have to, and she's going to help me bring some stuff. The airline only lets us have one carryon and one personal item (each) for free, though, so we're trying to figure out how we can bring my violin and my viola and still bring enough of a wardrobe to clothe me until next semester. I'm good at packing, but I still don't know if I can fit two season's worth of clothes into two little rolling suitcases. Winter clothes are really cumbersome, too. Could I wear them on the plane, do you think? Or might that look suspicious? They would probably frisk me and send me off to do menial labor in Siberia for eight years. This is really hard! I also have to think of Kitty, because we share practically everything. I have to figure out what I wear more and what she wears more, and divide the rest fairly. This is statistics right here, mm gurl. I am one smart cookie, yes I am. It looks like I might end up living in my dresses, though.
Mom and Kitty have been commandeered (by me) to sing in Roger's "choir" next week. The poor, unlucky, boy really needs our help. Oh my goodness me, I have never seen anyone in such dire straits since the time I watched the non-AP juniors have an English class. None of the people can read music, and more than half of them seem to be tone deaf (the rest are regular deaf). They don't care to follow their own parts either, and often one will hear an errant alto warbling out a broken facsimile of the tenor part with careless abandon. They neither understand, nor remember when they do understand, the very basic instructions Roger tries to give them, and they seem unable to grasp the concept of a rest. Unfortunately, they're all old, and he can't scold them for anything, even when they come into rehearsal half an hour (or more) late, which they all do. Since the sopranos are marginally better than the altos, and there are more of them, Roger has set me to singing alto, which is really rather fun. I'm not used to it, so even when there's a page of straight F-sharps, all quarter notes, it's interesting. Mom is naturally an alto, and Kitty is a second soprano, so they're singing with me, but believe me, the section needs all the aid possible. At most junctions, we're carrying the harmony alone. The other sections are also really bad, though, so often Roger asks me to sing soprano or tenor, as needed (unfortunately, my voice can't reach baritone or bass, otherwise I'd probably be doing that too), which is really quite gratifying. I mean, obviously he counts me as capable, and that's such a compliment coming from him. We're doing Pie Jesu, the same arrangement we did in Chambers. Roger can't sing the alto solo like he did for our competitions, because he's conducting (it's meant for a boy soprano, you see), but he's gotten the one other semi-capable person in the group to sing it. She's not bad, but it's a little out of her range. His mom was going to sing the soprano solo, but she was having trouble with the high notes, so she backed out, and he had to get me to do it, since there's no one else who can sing that high. Again, it's all quite flattering. I'm actually having a lot of fun with this, and I'm glad he asked me.
I'm finally done with working at the community college proper! Now I just have two more days of the kids' camp, and I'll never have to darken the doors ever again. Dad might, though. We're trying to get him a teaching position there, since they're badly in need of a biology teacher, and that is his niche in the wall of academia. They also need teachers for college algebra and for macroeconomics, and I think he could do both. Algebra might be better, to tell you the truth, because he has some funny ideas about economics, and I'm not sure we should be indoctrinating the new generations with them. But whatever is the most expedient, I hope he does it, because any bit of revenue would help us at this point. The school is going to hear from the accreditation team in a week, and I really hope the results will be positive. If not, no one will be needing any services, and Dad will have to go back to buying nutrimedicals with Mom's money, which won't help me any. So, really, this is all a bit selfish, but after all, did I not study at the Ayn Rand school of philosophy?
Ooh, I've been reading her stuff in a backwards chronological order, by the way! First came my beloved Atlas Shrugged, then the slightly less-beloved Fountainhead, and then Anthem, which I discovered in Zac's room, and which I plan to take to college with me. Now I'm trying to track down We the Living. After that, I want to read her early works. They have those at Barnes and Noble. Then I can count myself as one deserving of opinions on Objectivism.
Speaking of literature, I've been reading The Brothers Karamazov, and it's so fascinating. Why is that? And why do I feel so attached to the characters? Ivan is the cutest little baby, and I just want to adopt Alyosha and give him hot chocolate and not make him have to testify in court any more. I like Grushenka too (kind of). What's the matter with me? They're so hapless, though. Babies. ♥
Oh dear, it's gotten quite late, and I need to practice still. And I have to get up early tomorrow so I can call my advising office at OSU because the time zones are prohibitively different! I dunno what to say except that I have made a grave mistake which none can rectify. I need to get my act together, actually, because rosy fingered dawn is set to be a good friend to me in college. None of my morning classes start later than 9:30. And I thought I was leaving the pain of sleeplessness behind. Oh me.

Yup

I'm at Barnes and Noble! It's so cool to be typing on this here wifi. I feel like a college student, and none can deny the sacred fact. Well, I guess I am a college student. Oh yeah, baby, that's the spirit! Well, I'm going to come back and talk to y'all later (or maybe not) cuz I want to read poetry. Byeeee!

Art is magical

I went to the art museum today! Dad took me and Kitty and Sungmin, and we walked around and saw mostly the whole thing. It was so wonderful. They had Bird in Space, which is my favorite minimalist sculpture (I guess it's really modernist, but I am an uncultured plebeian), and they had some Rococo stuff, Fragonard and Boucher, and a little Italian rococo too, which is more rare, and they had a Clodion sculpture. There was lots and lots and lots of Degas, including Little Dancer, which made Kitty supremely happy, and lots of Impressionist stuff in general. There wasn't a lot of Romantic stuff, unfortunately, just a couple of Daumier pieces and a few unremarkable landscapes, but they had a lot of Expressionist pieces, and an entire sculpture garden full of Rodin, Lipchitz, Maillol, and Moore. There was a big exhibit room of modern art, and there were quite a few nice Kandinsky paintings, which Sungmin thought were weird, and a lot of Van Gogh, which Dad enjoyed immensely. There was Braque too, and that brings me to a fabulous joke, which I have told to every single person in my unfortunate family: What is Picasso's favorite vegetable? Braque-lee! Oh, that's a knee-slapper. Gotta hand it to myself, I am hilarious. Anyway, there was also a big gallery of proto-Renaissance and Renaissance art, and some of it was rather major. Then there was a lot of Baroque too, and let me tell you, them Dutch people sure were prolific! There was some nice stuff, though. You know, I'd never realized it before today, because I always looked at him in comparison with other painting giants, but Rembrandt is really a master. They had three of his paintings, and they were so much better than the ones around them. It was really obvious. I wish my selfies could live on as masterpieces for centuries after my death. We were there for about four-and-a-half hours, but it didn't feel that long to me, because I was so enthralled by the whole experience. Poor Sungmin, though, he was really feeling the time. So was Kitty. I felt bad for them, but not bad enough to leave. I'm not sure I could have, anyway, because Dad was having a grand old time, and he is as intractable as molasses in January when he wants to do something. So we walked around the galleries discussing art in what I'm sure was a completely unrefined manner, and Kitty and Sungmin had to put up with it all. We got free reproductions of one of Elizabeth Lebrun's portraits when we left, too. It was such a fun experience! I want to go to more museums in the future when I get the chance to do so.
I'm registering for my classes at OSU now. Or, that is to say, I've been in the process of doing so for two days. It's really hard, because there are so many classes I want to take, and I have so little room to do so! I also don't really trust my capabilities in everything, I mean, I might love to take engineering or thermochemistry for physics majors, but I probably wouldn't be very successful if I did. I have to take ten units of natural science, though, which is completely silly, because it's more than anything else, and I'm going for a BA, like seriously wat. I'm okay with it though, because it means I get to take physics and molecular genetics, and I'm excited about both. I almost took anthropology, and chemistry looked interesting, but I think the two I have are better. I'm not going to take them yet, though. I want to make my first semester fairly easy so I can settle into college without getting too stressed and flunking out. I'm going to take five classes, I think, which is fifteen units, so that's not so bad (although I really feel like I could handle more). My AP credit helped a lot, although they don't take every class, sadly. Government and Econ are in the same category, so I have to take one more social science (ish) class, but I'm okay with that. If I can get the classes, I think I'm going to take analytical linguistics, intro to linguistics (which I need for my major, and is my only non-GE class), a writing class, either orchestra or choir, and either a literature class or a didactic music class, depending on if I want to get rid of my literature requirement or my performing arts requirement first. Mom really wants me to have a music minor, and so does Dad, so I guess I should work for that. It's not like it's hard. I want to be in the ensembles anyway, so if I do that for a few years, and take music theory and like two other classes, I'll be good to go. I don't mind, and I want to take the classes anyway, but, you see... I wanted to minor in English. Oh dear, that's such a silly thing to want. Bad Jasmine! Get it together! But a lot of the classes overlap with the GE classes. Let's see. So I have to take fifteen credit hours, or five classes. I'm taking two of those this semester, writing and literature (unless I take music theory instead, but I'll take literature at some point). I need to take three advanced courses, but these can be anything, so if I take, for example, English 4597 (which fulfills my open options GE requirement) and English 3364 (which fulfills my cultures and ideas requirement), I just need to take an advanced writing course (which is the other requirement for a minor), and boom, fifteen credits done! Can that be, though? That seems too easy! But then again, music is also pretty easy. Can you double minor? Probably not. But does that matter? What if I defy the system and rebelliously get a liberal education? I would be a revolutionary! It would be so exciting! I could wear black leather and take shots of whiskey at strategic intervals, and everyone would fear me. I've always wanted to do that. Let's go!
Oh, supper time. Bye now!

Fluff and chatter

La la. I texted Austin today, and we had a nice conversation, and it was beautiful. Sometimes we text a lot, but I really am a jerk about replying, so often there spells drier than Dostoevsky's prose (gotta say I shore do like Dostoevsky though). But I texted him this morning when I was waiting for class to start (both teachers have acquired the most dilatory of habits, and there is no dissuading them of the deleterious effects), and we talked all day and bless me Ultima, I shore can't forget about the boy! I dunno how pleasant it is to talk to me, though. Here is an accurate transcript, taken lovingly from my phone, of our conversation today.
Me: Hi :D
Austin: Ohay I missed you :)
Me: I missed yo too bub! Wait, that sounded awkward and insincere :O oops!
Austin: LOL. It's fine! What's you doin? :D
Me: Werkin like a twerkin burgher baybay! :D ugh the teachers are so terrible though... Note: I quite realize how inappropriate that was to say, but they make me so angry every day that I had to get it out.
Austin: That's hawt ;D Aww, how so? :(
Me: They don't speak English well, and they can't teach it, but even worse, they're really mean, and they make fun of the students and stuff >:(
Austin: Maybe you should buy some pizza and have a pizza party :)
Austin: My friends like making fun of me as a group maybe you should try that it really brings people closer together ;^;
Me: u r fat lol  Somehow that doesn't appeal to the senses. Am I doing it wrong?
Austin: No, my feels are hurt :') But srs tho I'm so hungry I could ride a horse
(long interlude during which I was sleeping and eating and reading Steinbeck and being a lazy butt)
Me: Did you eat anything? :D What have you been doing with your day? This all sounds unnecessarily interagotory :O
Austin: I had me some friend chicken! I've just been sleeping... Ugh. But I did my laundry. I guess that was somewhat productive. What about you, what have you done today?
Me: Yay for sleeping and laundry! Now you are fresh and refreshed (I think that's an ad or something). I did absolutely nothing worthwhile! :D except now I'm at an SAT prep class for our CKC kids, so I guess that's somewhat helpful.
Austin: But not as fresh and refreshing as you! You are an angel to our community. Why must you be leaving :'( What time do you get off? :p
Me: I get off every night ;D No, but actually this might go on indefinitely, depending on how many questions the kids ask. Is a bummer D:  Note: I quite realize how vulgar that was, but we must be all things to all men, must we not?
Me: Sorry, that was inappropriate :C
Austin: Oh I gotchu ;D Hey that's gr9 because I would like to give you a present for all your hard work!
Me: Are you present to present a present at this present time? :D (what does that even mean hurr)   Note: I had no idea what was going on at this point.
Austin: wat. Are you done? I need like 30 minutes oh no ;_;
Me: Oh no, I'm not actually :p I was just being silly with my wordplay!
Austin: Oh. Phew. :3 That was a beautiful sentence btw. The English language is bootyful
Me: Ain't it now? Language is truly a thing of beauty, and therefore a joy forever! C:
Austin: Yeah kind of like you :) I mean wat
Me: Fo sho I am hella dank dawg #radical
Austin: Only the swaggiest! So are you at school?
Me: Oh, actually I'm in San Bernardino! That's where CKC is, you see.
Austin: Damn, I was going to surprise you D: but I have time for that later!
Me: Oh, I thought this was all strictly metaphorical! Tomorrow's my last day at work yay! Actually, wait, it's Tuesday, oops.
Austin: Definitely don't expect anything on Tuesday from 1 to 3 then ;D
Me: No, definitely not. Tuesday is like a river of vapidity.
(interlude about college stuff)
Me: Your schedule cray! I said damn! That's good though C: Do you have to take GE classes?
Austin: Yeah, but you should help me with our chemistry ;D I don't think I have to take GE classes :o
Me: Let's strengthen our covalent bond ;D oh, that's right, my brother didn't take any either!
Austin: Are you Fluorine cuz I want to bond with you ;D wow we wre 2 swaqq
And there it ends. Cuz I haven't replied yet, in my rude way. Never fear, though, I plan to make a chemistry pickup line or pun or something. I can make make wordplay till the cows come home. But yeah, there you have it! Was he going to come visit me? Was he going to bring me Starbucks? Oh me oh my! I don't know what is life. I went to his tumblr because I am a creep, and someone anonymous asked him to describe the girl he likes, and he went on to provide this: 

she’s cute and beautiful and smart and bubbly and talented and short and has a huge vocabulary, freckles, big bright brown eyes and nice brown hair, barely talks to me but puts an idiotic smile on my face when i see her name show up on my phone and she makes my mind lasjhdfnkvdsn she's also moving very far away. 
IS THAT ME HUH
I don't know what to think! Kitty read it, and she said it was indeed me, and then Mom and Sungmin and Dad all came over and read it too, and agreed. This is all so confusing! What is happening? Who is John Galt? I need answers to my questions, people!
We went to the mall today (that was such an abrupt change I am sorry) after CKC, and Kitty and I went to Forever 21 (among other places) while Mom and Sungmin went to Gamestop and the like. Kitty bought a cute striped pencil skirt and a black shirt with studs, and I got this adorable black leather jacker. I felt so guilty for getting it, but it was on sale, and I need jackets for Ohio. I don't really have any, you see. And I've wanted a leather jacket for a really long time. So maybe it's all right. It fits me like it was made for me (which is rare, given my tiny size) and it's really, really cute. I'm already planning outfits with which I can wear it. Maybe my polka dotted dress that Kitty bought for me, and the boots Allie gave me? Perfect mix right there. I will do it, mark my words. I bought Sungmin and Mom chocolate at the candy store, and the lady gave me a bunch of samples. It's so good too. Chocolate is like poetry to the palate.
Because we are manly and amazing, and we could potentially win our town the race and be chaired through the marketplace, Kitty and I went running today. It was so tiring. Eventually, I persuaded her to go off by herself so I wouldn't hold her back, and I finished my exercise myself. She came bouncing into the house half an hour later, full of high spirits and seratonin, and perkily described the beneficial effects of running on the soul as I lounged here in this very seat, perusing the pages my baby Daisy Bell had to offer me. (Everyone's started calling her Daisy Bell, and I like the name myself, so I suppose she is duly christened) I wish I weren't out of shape, man. It would be such a nice thing. My roommate for OSU wants to go to the gym together, and that would be good, because it would inspire me to stop being a couch potato. Let's go man!
Oh! I never mentioned this, but it is wonderful! I was at Barnes and Noble, and I found A Shropshire Lad combined with Last Poems and every other piece A.E Housman ever wrote! I squealed and jumped up and down, and waved the book in some poor man's face, and then sat down and read the whole thing. I love him so much, oh man! I know he's a minor poet, and he has his flaws (some rather more glaring than others), but I don't know if there's anyone else I love more. I want the book more than I can say, but it's expensive, and actually, I'm a little embarrassed to buy a book I love, so for now, I'm going to content myself with reading it every time I go there. Wait, that's really weird. Why am I embarrassed to buy stuff I like? It's true, though, come to think of it, I never want to buy food I like, or notebooks, or anything. Even in non-monetary terms, I've always been a little ashamed to admit to liking what I like. Wtf, Jasmine. Get it together!
I've started picking my classes for college today. There are so many I want to take, and so many are completely impractical! If I signed up for Architecture, now, what help would that be to me? Or Renaissance and Medieval Studies? Perhaps Astronomy? Or Engineering (don't laugh)? Man, this is stressful! I want to learn everything, and I can't! I feel like Dr. Faust, and that's generally not a good thing. I suppose I'll have to pick at some point, and I've already narrowed it down quite a bit, but I still have a lot to weed out before I can embark on my 16-credit load (Mom won't let me take 18). Oh, I want to take choir too, but there's also orchestra to consider! I can't take both, obviously, so I need to make a choice. And if I did choose orchestra, would I play violin or viola? I just don't know! I was thinking to audition for everything and see which yields the most satisfactory results. Now I'm thinking like an economist! Good for me! Maybe I can make it onto the OMB yet.
Wellp, tomorrow is my last day at work (for the most part), and I need to make bags of candy to give the students because I am a paragon of human virtue and refinement, so off I go. Let's see if I can do this artistically while still allocating my scarce resources to the maximum efficiency. Goodnight, Daisy Bell!

First post on Baby!

I'm writing this on my very own computer! I sure am! Ain't that real exciting now? I went to the campus store today with Mom and Grandma, and we got it for me for school. I'm really happy! I love my baby dearly already, though I don't know what to name her. I was thinking of Daisy Bell, because of the song the first computers learned (and that Hal sang when he died), but I feel like people might not understand the reference, and just think I'm being cute. I mean, I do want it to be cute, but I don't want anyone to disrespect my baby girl either. So then I thought I could name her something twee and quirky like Eevee-Lution, but it's far from my fondest desire to be twee and quirky. Then I thought Silmarillion would be pretty cool, since she's the repository of knowledge and all, but I haven't actually read the Silmarillion (though I want to), so I think that would be fake. Perhaps Artemesia, after Artemesia Gentileschi? Or something from music? Maybe something after one of my beloved literary works? Oh goodness, there are so many possibilities! I'm sorry baby, I'm just not emotionally prepared for your christening!
Oh, time to eat. Kbye lol

Shameless promotion

I was looking up the national averages for the AP tests this year, and they were even more gratifying than I could have hoped. 11.9% of people got fives on Art History, and 11.2% got fives on Government, but the best part is this: 7.6% got fives on Lit. And I'm one of them. Ooh, whuttup! This explains why I haven't seen one person yet (either on tumblr or in real life) who's gotten anything more than a four. I'm not an egotistical jerk, really, but I had to brag, because I can't exactly go around shouting it from the rooftops. Actually, I suppose I could. I should have posted my scores on facebook when I got them and everyone else did. I suppose it's too late now. Now no one will ever know of my genius. Boy oh boy, I really am an egotistical jerk, aren't I. But you have to understand, this is an extremely validating moment for me. I've lived my whole life (or at least up until this year) thinking that English is second nature to everyone, that prowess at reading and writing isn't anything more special than breathing, and that I had no talents whatsoever. So to see that it really is pretty cool to be good at something– that's what everyone lives for, right? You know, I also got a five on AP Lang last year and 10.9% of people got that. It's also the biggest test administered. That didn't register as much with me, though, because the class was so ridiculously easy, and because I was so ashamed of my fours on the other tests. I didn't study for them, though. I read a page on slavery once for APUSH, and that was all. Of course, I didn't study for Spanish either (lol what AP Chem, I didn't take that class). You'd think I would have learned my lesson for this year.
Sure did work out in the end though!
It even worked out in math. I'm really surprised. I got a four on the final for Calc, and I never actually failed any of our practice tests, and now I can skip math placement tests for college because of my passing score. So I'm really happy. Maybe I'm not actually as bad at math as I thought. The gene in our family didn't skip me after all! (ugh there really is a gene though I mean Mom got a 790 on her math SAT and took crazy hard classes in college and stuff and then of course Zac is a math major– sort of– and presented his research at an international convention and all that, and Kitty's been getting perfect scores on her math tests and etc etc etc.) I'm in such a mood for shameless self-aggrandizement right now! I want someone to laud me and tell me how wonderful I am! Or at the very least, I want someone to know how I did. Well, I guess our teacher will know. Collegeboard sends the scores back to the school. I'd like to think that he knows already, and this is a terribly conceited thing to say, but I got the highest score on every single multiple choice test we ever took except for one (we took plenty too), and I never wrote an essay that scored below a six (actually, my scores steadily increased throughout the year, and I ended with solid nines). Not only that, but I got perfect scores on everything (individual) we ever did. I think I ended the class with 110% or something like that. So, if he wanted to predict our scores, hopefully he would think of me with a five in mind.
Ya know, everyone in my class started to respect me after awhile, and that was part of the reason I loved it so much. Of course, I've been in honors/AP classes since freshman year, and I've always had at least a 3.9, but I don't think most people really looked at me as "smart" because of my voice and my clothes and my looks. In fact, everyone who didn't know me very well thought I was quite a bimbo. So when everyone universally started to respect me for the first time in my life, it really changed how I saw the world. I stopped hating everyone so much, and started feeling better about myself too, and just in general sort of un-embittered myself. I don't think you can imagine how wonderful it was to have people realize that I was the top student in the class, not the bottom, and that I was someone whom they could always ask for help. I've never been thought of as the leader in anything, not in school, nor at home, or in fact anywhere, and it seems like such a small thing to be recognized, but it was (and is) so enormous to me. Hearing people say things like, "She knows everything," or "Don't worry, Jasmine can do it," just made my day, and because people said things like that almost every day, it was impossible not to be happy in that class. Of course, it would have been impossible not to be happy in the class anyway, just because everything about it was so superlatively perfect, but you know. I loved Lit so much that I sometimes told myself it was coming when I got up in the morning, to give myself a reason to get out of bed. Oh goodness, why am I such a silly person? I'm going to blush with shame twenty years hence when I read this to realize how easily affected I was (am?). Well, nothing to do about that. That's Future Jasmine's problem, and she can deal with it herself, being the mature adult she is.
Okay, that's all about that. Man, I wrote a lot. I felt like it had to be said, though.
Oh! I really can go to Ohio State! I didn't dare make plans for it or anything, because I didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing, but we all talked about it, and we agreed that if Dad can stop spending hundreds of dollars a month on quack supplements, we can afford to send me there. I'm so happy and excited! I feel (rather melodramatically) as if Beatrice had pulled me off the road to perdition at the last minute. Is that the best allusion to use? It's not. Oh dear. Well, it was what sprang to mind. Now I can go to a real university, and get a real education, and have a real shot at life! I've called and set up orientation, and I've been talking to my roommate on facebook, and we're looking into plane tickets, and oh my goodness, it looks like it's actually going to happen! When I remember what's happening, I smile goofily to myself, and bounce up and down internally. The only fly in my ointment is the fact that I'm taking up so much of the family resources for so little gain. I feel so terrible whenever anyone mentions money in any context that I would almost be willing to go to Long Beach after all, were my ego not so massive. Ugh, I'm such a horrible human being. I wish I were more saintly. Well, no, I don't really. Or do I? Oh no, what a tangled web! Whee, college, though! I'm on an emotional rollercoaster every day, and there is no denying it.
I went to market night with Kitty, and a whole bunch of our afternoon students at the community college were there. So we got away from them, and then Sonia showed up. Bluh. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly, and I'm going to miss her like fresh meat needs salt when I leave, but sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone. You know? Kitty is the same way. In fact, all our family is. I suppose we're extraordinarily lucky that we don't mind each others' company at any given time. I know many families don't have that privilege.
I'm almost done with work at the community college, speaking (ish) of which! At least, I'm almost done with the ESL morning class. My last day is next Thursday. It's great and all, but I'm really very ready to be done. The two teachers are horrible, and I don't think I could take more of their antics than I had to. Yesterday, the lady went over an eight-line dialogue for twenty minutes, and when she noticed that the students weren't engaged, she yelled at them. One brave soul told her that it was boring because it was too easy, and she flipped out. She screamed for twenty minutes more about how he obviously didn't understand anything, because he couldn't possibly think it was easy otherwise, how stupid the class was in general, how no one was allowed to find the lesson boring, how it was their own fault if they were bored because their minds were limited, and so on and so on, while the other teacher slipped in snide remarks here and there. Once she was done, she went on with the "lesson," which really wasn't a lesson at all, but stopped every other sentence to deliver some cutting remark. The poor students were terrified, especially mine, because she didn't understand why she was being yelled at, and the teachers got mad at them for that too. None of them talk in class anymore, because if they do, they get yelled at, misunderstood, or made fun of, usually all three, by both teachers, and they don't dare ask questions either. It's really a bad situation. Today, one of the girls was late because the bus was late, so the teacher (the man) said loudly, "You're LATE! Next time, buy a Ferrari. Oh wait– YOU CAN'T!" Then he laughed for about a minute. The other teacher thought this was pretty funny, and joined in with some snippy rejoinder about the working class. Meanwhile, everyone else was sitting in awkward silence. And it's not like the teachers are any good example of timeliness either! The lady is always at least fifteen minutes late to class, and the man is never the first one in the room. It's so annoying. I mean, if I can drag myself there on time, surely anyone should be able to. The afternoon class is marginally better, because Kitty and I are in charge of it. On the other hand, it comprises a roomful of twelve-year-old boys, none of whom speak English to any degree, and it lasts for twice as long. I suppose I need to brush up on my sports terminology. Basketball is the one with bases, right?
I suppose I really should go to bed. It's 1:39, and everyone else is asleep already. If the CIA were going to come and catch me, now would be the time. And as I don't want them to catch me, I better go up to bed and safety so that I can live to talk about basketball another day. Goodnight now!