Oh no

So I have a bit of a problem, and I don't really know how to resolve it. It's not a problem in the traditional sense (though given my own personal traditions, it actually is), but a problem it is nonetheless. You see, I seem to have acquired a new man, and though it may seem callous and cold, the truth is I don't really want him. I'm still nearly debilitated by the end of my last relationship, and I'm not in any hurry to enter another one. Besides, I'm certifiably mentally ill; how good a girlfriend could I logically be at this point? But my good buddy doesn't know this, and is anxious to talk to me and hang out with me as much as possible. As he's a nice and gregarious fellow, I don't really mind this, but I don't want to lead him on in any way, so I'm not sure what to do. At the moment, he thinks that we're dating, which I suppose technically we are, since we've been on two dates now, and if it stays like this, it's probably fine, but what if he wants a relationship? And now that I think of it, does he think relationships are different from dating? Oh dear. How do I get out of this one? In all honesty, I shouldn't have let it get this far, but I thought for sure he would be the type of guy who would keep things on the downlow, all casual-like, I mean he uses the word "thottie" unironically for goodness' sake, but as I skyped him one night, I learned that he has only had four girlfriends in his life, and doesn't like anything but serious relationships. Then he informed me that he has told his parents all about me, and they love me already (I'm not sure why they should, but that's another question for another day), and wanted to know (several times) what my family thought of him. It was then that the light began to break and I realized what a mistake I'd made. Tell me, why is it that people love to perpetrate the stereotype of all men being coldhearted, commitment-phobic, side-chick lovin' jerks? In my experience, all of them seem to be at least 75% more touchy-feely than I am. Granted, I'm definitely an outlier (in the words of my dear friend Jade, I am "a complete ice princess"), but I can't be the only girl who acts more stereotypically masculine than her man. Seriously, I would be fine with some low-key chilling, but all these dudes want to get romantic on me, all "oh you should meet my parents and go to dinner with me and I will compose a sonnet on the breath from your lungs like a sunrise shining above the morning star" and like no, okay, calm down there. We cool, man, we cool. Maybe they think that's what I will like? I'm not sure how to disabuse them of that notion, since I've tried telling them, and that doesn't work. I guess men are just super romantic, and that's all there is to it.
So I just got off Skype with the bae, and bless my soul, it's bad, man. He invited me on his family trip to Vegas (hasn't this been done before?) and talked for a good long while about all the things we would do together in the future. And yeah, it's sweet, and it helps me forget that I want to die, but come on, okay, I can't let this go on. He's just so incredibly nice and it makes things so hard! But I know what I have to do. Selfishly, I'm going to wait until chemistry is over for the summer so things won't be awkward (it's only like two more weeks), but after that, he's gotta go. Really, it's for him that I'm doing this. If I didn't care about him at all, I'd just let things progress for my own benefit and screw the consequence. But I genuinely like him (just not like that), so I can't let him be so stupid as to be in a relationship with me. I'll just tell him about my mental health issues, and that should be enough to scare him away. For some misbegotten reason, he thinks I'm a perfectly normal, highly-functioning human being, and he freely complained today about some of his friends being "antisocial" or "emo." Oh, honey, you ain't seen nothin yet. Just you wait two weeks (if I can preserve my facade of normalcy for that long); you got a big ole storm comin. But okay, I'm getting cold feet now. He's such a nice person, and a feminist, and a proponent of human rights and all, what if he accepts me for what I am? Dearie me. Nah, that's not going to happen. No one would want to accept me, like come on. Okay, we good. I'll just let him have it, and this problem will solve itself. In the meantime, I'm not sure what to do though. Everything I do is just leading him on, even unintentionally, but I don't want to make the rest of my chem class terrible! It's hard enough to get out of bed anyway. Besides, I've been there and done that with the everyone-thinks-I'm-the-harlot-of-Babylon routine, and all things considered, I'd rather not go through that again. It could provide many adverse effects for me at this stage of the game! (I bring this up because once I've rejected him, he will undoubtedly go around telling everyone horror stories about me, as people are wont to do) And okay, if I'm being completely honest, it really is comforting to get some sweet lovin' from someone (not physically speaking, although I guess I have to prepare for that possibility as well), even if I don't necessarily feel as he does. Which is horrible, I know, and I can't let things go on this way of course, but I do have to admit the fact. But yeah, this is a bit of a conundrum. I wonder what will happen. Maybe I will fall deeply in love with him after all. Somehow I doubt that, but I should be prepared for every eventuality. However, it's much more likely that this will end messily, and one or both of us will be hurt and angry. Why does this always happen to me? Or rather, why do I always do this? Because there's no way that I'm not the bad guy here. I messed up, and now someone else is going to pay the price, no matter what I do. If I were Catholic, I would go to confession, but as it is, I'll just sit and stew in my own guilt for awhile. How delightful. More on this later, maybe! I need to go to bed. Goodnight!