Cuz it's late you see! Oh man, I'm so funny. Why don't I have any friends?
I've finally picked my classes for this semester, I think. Man, it sure did take a lot of effort. A lot of the ones I wanted to take aren't being offered until spring, and a lot of the other ones conflicted with each other. In particular, the opera class Mom is making me take conflicted with every single one of the literature classes except for one section of Colonial and US Lit. So guess what I'm taking! I really wanted British Lit 1800-present, but I suppose as long as I'm taking an English class at all, I'll be happy. I don't really know about this music minor Mom is determined I should have. It's really very inconvenient. I need to take a lot of extra classes and lessons and things, and they all interfere with each other (and with everything else, too). I don't see how on earth I'm going to pull this off. I suppose I should count myself lucky she doesn't want me to minor in thermonuclear microbiological enzyme studies or something. But I like the classes I have, for the most part, even though I'm really disappointed that I couldn't take the political science class I wanted. I was really excited to be able to take Global Politics, but Voters and Elections fit my schedule and the GE requirement, so that's what I'll be taking. I'm sad, but I feel lucky to be able to take political science at all, so my feelings are mixed here. I'm also taking a logic and linguistics class, which looks really interesting and useful, and one of my core linguistics classes. And of course, either choir or orchestra, and then voice or violin lessons (depending on which ensemble I get into). I didn't want to load up on too much my first semester, just so I can get settled in, which seems like a really lame attitude to take, but there's not much more I can fit into my schedule, and anyway, college really might be different from high school, and it really would be bad to flunk out. How many credits am I taking, though? If each of my classes is three, then I have fifteen already. Orchestra is either one or two (and choir is the same), and lessons are one. So that's seventeen or eighteen credits! That's pretty good, I think! If I want more, I have to pay (like Zac did). Now it just remains to schedule the classes. For some reason, I couldn't do it tonight. I'm going to see if I can call my advisor tomorrow, although she really has been less than excellent at answering her phone. Maybe we have to pay first. That could be the case. Everything's so expensive! It's horrible. Why can't we be free to be?
We went to the swap meet today, all of us. Sungmin wanted shoes, and so did Kitty, and I wanted to look for clothes. Mom had to take us, but Dad wanted to come too, so off we all went to be the biggest gringos in the county. It was great, though. We haven't been there in a long time, and I'd forgotten how good the prices are. I'd also forgotten how terribly hot it is to walk around, and I felt like the worst kind of raisin in the sun by the end, but I got to shop for deals, and that makes up for everything. I spent seventeen dollars, which makes me feel kind of guilty, but it's all for a good cause (me), so maybe that's all right. I got a really darling peach colored lacy, silky, dress, three pairs of panties, a bra, an art history book, a complete collection of Shelley's works, The Glass Menagerie, and a really badass dark blue journal with a metal dragon on the front which makes me feel supremely cool. So all in all, I think I got some good deals! Kitty got these really cute heels, but they're too small for her, so she gave them to me. She also got a leather jacket and some shorts and a bottle of water, because it really was a hotter situation than the Raft of the Medusa (get it cuz hot water lol so hilareeous ohoho). I shouldn't really have bought so much, especially not the books, because I can't bring them to Ohio with me, but really, what was I supposed to do, leave them there? I'm trying to figure out how many books I can bring to Ohio with me, actually. I can put a few in my violin case (the top part is weirdly small, so I have to put my music in my suitcase), and maybe a few can go in my bags. But I don't see how I'm going to bring my giant volume of poetry, and that is a rank travesty. I keep it under my pillow (with seven or so other books), and I read it often. Shall I have to buy a Nook or something? Mom is coming with me, even though I told her she didn't have to, and she's going to help me bring some stuff. The airline only lets us have one carryon and one personal item (each) for free, though, so we're trying to figure out how we can bring my violin and my viola and still bring enough of a wardrobe to clothe me until next semester. I'm good at packing, but I still don't know if I can fit two season's worth of clothes into two little rolling suitcases. Winter clothes are really cumbersome, too. Could I wear them on the plane, do you think? Or might that look suspicious? They would probably frisk me and send me off to do menial labor in Siberia for eight years. This is really hard! I also have to think of Kitty, because we share practically everything. I have to figure out what I wear more and what she wears more, and divide the rest fairly. This is statistics right here, mm gurl. I am one smart cookie, yes I am. It looks like I might end up living in my dresses, though.
Mom and Kitty have been commandeered (by me) to sing in Roger's "choir" next week. The poor, unlucky, boy really needs our help. Oh my goodness me, I have never seen anyone in such dire straits since the time I watched the non-AP juniors have an English class. None of the people can read music, and more than half of them seem to be tone deaf (the rest are regular deaf). They don't care to follow their own parts either, and often one will hear an errant alto warbling out a broken facsimile of the tenor part with careless abandon. They neither understand, nor remember when they do understand, the very basic instructions Roger tries to give them, and they seem unable to grasp the concept of a rest. Unfortunately, they're all old, and he can't scold them for anything, even when they come into rehearsal half an hour (or more) late, which they all do. Since the sopranos are marginally better than the altos, and there are more of them, Roger has set me to singing alto, which is really rather fun. I'm not used to it, so even when there's a page of straight F-sharps, all quarter notes, it's interesting. Mom is naturally an alto, and Kitty is a second soprano, so they're singing with me, but believe me, the section needs all the aid possible. At most junctions, we're carrying the harmony alone. The other sections are also really bad, though, so often Roger asks me to sing soprano or tenor, as needed (unfortunately, my voice can't reach baritone or bass, otherwise I'd probably be doing that too), which is really quite gratifying. I mean, obviously he counts me as capable, and that's such a compliment coming from him. We're doing Pie Jesu, the same arrangement we did in Chambers. Roger can't sing the alto solo like he did for our competitions, because he's conducting (it's meant for a boy soprano, you see), but he's gotten the one other semi-capable person in the group to sing it. She's not bad, but it's a little out of her range. His mom was going to sing the soprano solo, but she was having trouble with the high notes, so she backed out, and he had to get me to do it, since there's no one else who can sing that high. Again, it's all quite flattering. I'm actually having a lot of fun with this, and I'm glad he asked me.
I'm finally done with working at the community college proper! Now I just have two more days of the kids' camp, and I'll never have to darken the doors ever again. Dad might, though. We're trying to get him a teaching position there, since they're badly in need of a biology teacher, and that is his niche in the wall of academia. They also need teachers for college algebra and for macroeconomics, and I think he could do both. Algebra might be better, to tell you the truth, because he has some funny ideas about economics, and I'm not sure we should be indoctrinating the new generations with them. But whatever is the most expedient, I hope he does it, because any bit of revenue would help us at this point. The school is going to hear from the accreditation team in a week, and I really hope the results will be positive. If not, no one will be needing any services, and Dad will have to go back to buying nutrimedicals with Mom's money, which won't help me any. So, really, this is all a bit selfish, but after all, did I not study at the Ayn Rand school of philosophy?
Ooh, I've been reading her stuff in a backwards chronological order, by the way! First came my beloved Atlas Shrugged, then the slightly less-beloved Fountainhead, and then Anthem, which I discovered in Zac's room, and which I plan to take to college with me. Now I'm trying to track down We the Living. After that, I want to read her early works. They have those at Barnes and Noble. Then I can count myself as one deserving of opinions on Objectivism.
Speaking of literature, I've been reading The Brothers Karamazov, and it's so fascinating. Why is that? And why do I feel so attached to the characters? Ivan is the cutest little baby, and I just want to adopt Alyosha and give him hot chocolate and not make him have to testify in court any more. I like Grushenka too (kind of). What's the matter with me? They're so hapless, though. Babies. ♥
Oh dear, it's gotten quite late, and I need to practice still. And I have to get up early tomorrow so I can call my advising office at OSU because the time zones are prohibitively different! I dunno what to say except that I have made a grave mistake which none can rectify. I need to get my act together, actually, because rosy fingered dawn is set to be a good friend to me in college. None of my morning classes start later than 9:30. And I thought I was leaving the pain of sleeplessness behind. Oh me.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Yup
I'm at Barnes and Noble! It's so cool to be typing on this here wifi. I feel like a college student, and none can deny the sacred fact. Well, I guess I am a college student. Oh yeah, baby, that's the spirit! Well, I'm going to come back and talk to y'all later (or maybe not) cuz I want to read poetry. Byeeee!
Friday, July 26, 2013
Art is magical
I went to the art museum today! Dad took me and Kitty and Sungmin, and we walked around and saw mostly the whole thing. It was so wonderful. They had Bird in Space, which is my favorite minimalist sculpture (I guess it's really modernist, but I am an uncultured plebeian), and they had some Rococo stuff, Fragonard and Boucher, and a little Italian rococo too, which is more rare, and they had a Clodion sculpture. There was lots and lots and lots of Degas, including Little Dancer, which made Kitty supremely happy, and lots of Impressionist stuff in general. There wasn't a lot of Romantic stuff, unfortunately, just a couple of Daumier pieces and a few unremarkable landscapes, but they had a lot of Expressionist pieces, and an entire sculpture garden full of Rodin, Lipchitz, Maillol, and Moore. There was a big exhibit room of modern art, and there were quite a few nice Kandinsky paintings, which Sungmin thought were weird, and a lot of Van Gogh, which Dad enjoyed immensely. There was Braque too, and that brings me to a fabulous joke, which I have told to every single person in my unfortunate family: What is Picasso's favorite vegetable? Braque-lee! Oh, that's a knee-slapper. Gotta hand it to myself, I am hilarious. Anyway, there was also a big gallery of proto-Renaissance and Renaissance art, and some of it was rather major. Then there was a lot of Baroque too, and let me tell you, them Dutch people sure were prolific! There was some nice stuff, though. You know, I'd never realized it before today, because I always looked at him in comparison with other painting giants, but Rembrandt is really a master. They had three of his paintings, and they were so much better than the ones around them. It was really obvious. I wish my selfies could live on as masterpieces for centuries after my death. We were there for about four-and-a-half hours, but it didn't feel that long to me, because I was so enthralled by the whole experience. Poor Sungmin, though, he was really feeling the time. So was Kitty. I felt bad for them, but not bad enough to leave. I'm not sure I could have, anyway, because Dad was having a grand old time, and he is as intractable as molasses in January when he wants to do something. So we walked around the galleries discussing art in what I'm sure was a completely unrefined manner, and Kitty and Sungmin had to put up with it all. We got free reproductions of one of Elizabeth Lebrun's portraits when we left, too. It was such a fun experience! I want to go to more museums in the future when I get the chance to do so.
I'm registering for my classes at OSU now. Or, that is to say, I've been in the process of doing so for two days. It's really hard, because there are so many classes I want to take, and I have so little room to do so! I also don't really trust my capabilities in everything, I mean, I might love to take engineering or thermochemistry for physics majors, but I probably wouldn't be very successful if I did. I have to take ten units of natural science, though, which is completely silly, because it's more than anything else, and I'm going for a BA, like seriously wat. I'm okay with it though, because it means I get to take physics and molecular genetics, and I'm excited about both. I almost took anthropology, and chemistry looked interesting, but I think the two I have are better. I'm not going to take them yet, though. I want to make my first semester fairly easy so I can settle into college without getting too stressed and flunking out. I'm going to take five classes, I think, which is fifteen units, so that's not so bad (although I really feel like I could handle more). My AP credit helped a lot, although they don't take every class, sadly. Government and Econ are in the same category, so I have to take one more social science (ish) class, but I'm okay with that. If I can get the classes, I think I'm going to take analytical linguistics, intro to linguistics (which I need for my major, and is my only non-GE class), a writing class, either orchestra or choir, and either a literature class or a didactic music class, depending on if I want to get rid of my literature requirement or my performing arts requirement first. Mom really wants me to have a music minor, and so does Dad, so I guess I should work for that. It's not like it's hard. I want to be in the ensembles anyway, so if I do that for a few years, and take music theory and like two other classes, I'll be good to go. I don't mind, and I want to take the classes anyway, but, you see... I wanted to minor in English. Oh dear, that's such a silly thing to want. Bad Jasmine! Get it together! But a lot of the classes overlap with the GE classes. Let's see. So I have to take fifteen credit hours, or five classes. I'm taking two of those this semester, writing and literature (unless I take music theory instead, but I'll take literature at some point). I need to take three advanced courses, but these can be anything, so if I take, for example, English 4597 (which fulfills my open options GE requirement) and English 3364 (which fulfills my cultures and ideas requirement), I just need to take an advanced writing course (which is the other requirement for a minor), and boom, fifteen credits done! Can that be, though? That seems too easy! But then again, music is also pretty easy. Can you double minor? Probably not. But does that matter? What if I defy the system and rebelliously get a liberal education? I would be a revolutionary! It would be so exciting! I could wear black leather and take shots of whiskey at strategic intervals, and everyone would fear me. I've always wanted to do that. Let's go!
Oh, supper time. Bye now!
I'm registering for my classes at OSU now. Or, that is to say, I've been in the process of doing so for two days. It's really hard, because there are so many classes I want to take, and I have so little room to do so! I also don't really trust my capabilities in everything, I mean, I might love to take engineering or thermochemistry for physics majors, but I probably wouldn't be very successful if I did. I have to take ten units of natural science, though, which is completely silly, because it's more than anything else, and I'm going for a BA, like seriously wat. I'm okay with it though, because it means I get to take physics and molecular genetics, and I'm excited about both. I almost took anthropology, and chemistry looked interesting, but I think the two I have are better. I'm not going to take them yet, though. I want to make my first semester fairly easy so I can settle into college without getting too stressed and flunking out. I'm going to take five classes, I think, which is fifteen units, so that's not so bad (although I really feel like I could handle more). My AP credit helped a lot, although they don't take every class, sadly. Government and Econ are in the same category, so I have to take one more social science (ish) class, but I'm okay with that. If I can get the classes, I think I'm going to take analytical linguistics, intro to linguistics (which I need for my major, and is my only non-GE class), a writing class, either orchestra or choir, and either a literature class or a didactic music class, depending on if I want to get rid of my literature requirement or my performing arts requirement first. Mom really wants me to have a music minor, and so does Dad, so I guess I should work for that. It's not like it's hard. I want to be in the ensembles anyway, so if I do that for a few years, and take music theory and like two other classes, I'll be good to go. I don't mind, and I want to take the classes anyway, but, you see... I wanted to minor in English. Oh dear, that's such a silly thing to want. Bad Jasmine! Get it together! But a lot of the classes overlap with the GE classes. Let's see. So I have to take fifteen credit hours, or five classes. I'm taking two of those this semester, writing and literature (unless I take music theory instead, but I'll take literature at some point). I need to take three advanced courses, but these can be anything, so if I take, for example, English 4597 (which fulfills my open options GE requirement) and English 3364 (which fulfills my cultures and ideas requirement), I just need to take an advanced writing course (which is the other requirement for a minor), and boom, fifteen credits done! Can that be, though? That seems too easy! But then again, music is also pretty easy. Can you double minor? Probably not. But does that matter? What if I defy the system and rebelliously get a liberal education? I would be a revolutionary! It would be so exciting! I could wear black leather and take shots of whiskey at strategic intervals, and everyone would fear me. I've always wanted to do that. Let's go!
Oh, supper time. Bye now!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Fluff and chatter
La la. I texted Austin today, and we had a nice conversation, and it was beautiful. Sometimes we text a lot, but I really am a jerk about replying, so often there spells drier than Dostoevsky's prose (gotta say I shore do like Dostoevsky though). But I texted him this morning when I was waiting for class to start (both teachers have acquired the most dilatory of habits, and there is no dissuading them of the deleterious effects), and we talked all day and bless me Ultima, I shore can't forget about the boy! I dunno how pleasant it is to talk to me, though. Here is an accurate transcript, taken lovingly from my phone, of our conversation today.
Me: Hi :D
Austin: Ohay I missed you :)
Me: I missed yo too bub! Wait, that sounded awkward and insincere :O oops!
Austin: LOL. It's fine! What's you doin? :D
Me: Werkin like a twerkin burgher baybay! :D ugh the teachers are so terrible though... Note: I quite realize how inappropriate that was to say, but they make me so angry every day that I had to get it out.
Austin: That's hawt ;D Aww, how so? :(
Me: They don't speak English well, and they can't teach it, but even worse, they're really mean, and they make fun of the students and stuff >:(
Austin: Maybe you should buy some pizza and have a pizza party :)
Austin: My friends like making fun of me as a group maybe you should try that it really brings people closer together ;^;
Me: u r fat lol Somehow that doesn't appeal to the senses. Am I doing it wrong?
Austin: No, my feels are hurt :') But srs tho I'm so hungry I could ride a horse
(long interlude during which I was sleeping and eating and reading Steinbeck and being a lazy butt)
Me: Did you eat anything? :D What have you been doing with your day? This all sounds unnecessarily interagotory :O
Austin: I had me some friend chicken! I've just been sleeping... Ugh. But I did my laundry. I guess that was somewhat productive. What about you, what have you done today?
Me: Yay for sleeping and laundry! Now you are fresh and refreshed (I think that's an ad or something). I did absolutely nothing worthwhile! :D except now I'm at an SAT prep class for our CKC kids, so I guess that's somewhat helpful.
Austin: But not as fresh and refreshing as you! You are an angel to our community. Why must you be leaving :'( What time do you get off? :p
Me: I get off every night ;D No, but actually this might go on indefinitely, depending on how many questions the kids ask. Is a bummer D: Note: I quite realize how vulgar that was, but we must be all things to all men, must we not?
Me: Sorry, that was inappropriate :C
Austin: Oh I gotchu ;D Hey that's gr9 because I would like to give you a present for all your hard work!
Me: Are you present to present a present at this present time? :D (what does that even mean hurr) Note: I had no idea what was going on at this point.
Austin: wat. Are you done? I need like 30 minutes oh no ;_;
Me: Oh no, I'm not actually :p I was just being silly with my wordplay!
Austin: Oh. Phew. :3 That was a beautiful sentence btw. The English language is bootyful
Me: Ain't it now? Language is truly a thing of beauty, and therefore a joy forever! C:
Austin: Yeah kind of like you :) I mean wat
Me: Fo sho I am hella dank dawg #radical
Austin: Only the swaggiest! So are you at school?
Me: Oh, actually I'm in San Bernardino! That's where CKC is, you see.
Austin: Damn, I was going to surprise you D: but I have time for that later!
Me: Oh, I thought this was all strictly metaphorical! Tomorrow's my last day at work yay! Actually, wait, it's Tuesday, oops.
Austin: Definitely don't expect anything on Tuesday from 1 to 3 then ;D
Me: No, definitely not. Tuesday is like a river of vapidity.
(interlude about college stuff)
Me: Your schedule cray! I said damn! That's good though C: Do you have to take GE classes?
Austin: Yeah, but you should help me with our chemistry ;D I don't think I have to take GE classes :o
Me: Let's strengthen our covalent bond ;D oh, that's right, my brother didn't take any either!
Austin: Are you Fluorine cuz I want to bond with you ;D wow we wre 2 swaqq
And there it ends. Cuz I haven't replied yet, in my rude way. Never fear, though, I plan to make a chemistry pickup line or pun or something. I can make make wordplay till the cows come home. But yeah, there you have it! Was he going to come visit me? Was he going to bring me Starbucks? Oh me oh my! I don't know what is life. I went to his tumblr because I am a creep, and someone anonymous asked him to describe the girl he likes, and he went on to provide this:
Me: Hi :D
Austin: Ohay I missed you :)
Me: I missed yo too bub! Wait, that sounded awkward and insincere :O oops!
Austin: LOL. It's fine! What's you doin? :D
Me: Werkin like a twerkin burgher baybay! :D ugh the teachers are so terrible though... Note: I quite realize how inappropriate that was to say, but they make me so angry every day that I had to get it out.
Austin: That's hawt ;D Aww, how so? :(
Me: They don't speak English well, and they can't teach it, but even worse, they're really mean, and they make fun of the students and stuff >:(
Austin: Maybe you should buy some pizza and have a pizza party :)
Austin: My friends like making fun of me as a group maybe you should try that it really brings people closer together ;^;
Me: u r fat lol Somehow that doesn't appeal to the senses. Am I doing it wrong?
Austin: No, my feels are hurt :') But srs tho I'm so hungry I could ride a horse
(long interlude during which I was sleeping and eating and reading Steinbeck and being a lazy butt)
Me: Did you eat anything? :D What have you been doing with your day? This all sounds unnecessarily interagotory :O
Austin: I had me some friend chicken! I've just been sleeping... Ugh. But I did my laundry. I guess that was somewhat productive. What about you, what have you done today?
Me: Yay for sleeping and laundry! Now you are fresh and refreshed (I think that's an ad or something). I did absolutely nothing worthwhile! :D except now I'm at an SAT prep class for our CKC kids, so I guess that's somewhat helpful.
Austin: But not as fresh and refreshing as you! You are an angel to our community. Why must you be leaving :'( What time do you get off? :p
Me: I get off every night ;D No, but actually this might go on indefinitely, depending on how many questions the kids ask. Is a bummer D: Note: I quite realize how vulgar that was, but we must be all things to all men, must we not?
Me: Sorry, that was inappropriate :C
Austin: Oh I gotchu ;D Hey that's gr9 because I would like to give you a present for all your hard work!
Me: Are you present to present a present at this present time? :D (what does that even mean hurr) Note: I had no idea what was going on at this point.
Austin: wat. Are you done? I need like 30 minutes oh no ;_;
Me: Oh no, I'm not actually :p I was just being silly with my wordplay!
Austin: Oh. Phew. :3 That was a beautiful sentence btw. The English language is bootyful
Me: Ain't it now? Language is truly a thing of beauty, and therefore a joy forever! C:
Austin: Yeah kind of like you :) I mean wat
Me: Fo sho I am hella dank dawg #radical
Austin: Only the swaggiest! So are you at school?
Me: Oh, actually I'm in San Bernardino! That's where CKC is, you see.
Austin: Damn, I was going to surprise you D: but I have time for that later!
Me: Oh, I thought this was all strictly metaphorical! Tomorrow's my last day at work yay! Actually, wait, it's Tuesday, oops.
Austin: Definitely don't expect anything on Tuesday from 1 to 3 then ;D
Me: No, definitely not. Tuesday is like a river of vapidity.
(interlude about college stuff)
Me: Your schedule cray! I said damn! That's good though C: Do you have to take GE classes?
Austin: Yeah, but you should help me with our chemistry ;D I don't think I have to take GE classes :o
Me: Let's strengthen our covalent bond ;D oh, that's right, my brother didn't take any either!
Austin: Are you Fluorine cuz I want to bond with you ;D wow we wre 2 swaqq
And there it ends. Cuz I haven't replied yet, in my rude way. Never fear, though, I plan to make a chemistry pickup line or pun or something. I can make make wordplay till the cows come home. But yeah, there you have it! Was he going to come visit me? Was he going to bring me Starbucks? Oh me oh my! I don't know what is life. I went to his tumblr because I am a creep, and someone anonymous asked him to describe the girl he likes, and he went on to provide this:
she’s cute and beautiful and smart and bubbly and talented and short and has a huge vocabulary, freckles, big bright brown eyes and nice brown hair, barely talks to me but puts an idiotic smile on my face when i see her name show up on my phone and she makes my mind lasjhdfnkvdsn she's also moving very far away.
IS THAT ME HUH
I don't know what to think! Kitty read it, and she said it was indeed me, and then Mom and Sungmin and Dad all came over and read it too, and agreed. This is all so confusing! What is happening? Who is John Galt? I need answers to my questions, people!
We went to the mall today (that was such an abrupt change I am sorry) after CKC, and Kitty and I went to Forever 21 (among other places) while Mom and Sungmin went to Gamestop and the like. Kitty bought a cute striped pencil skirt and a black shirt with studs, and I got this adorable black leather jacker. I felt so guilty for getting it, but it was on sale, and I need jackets for Ohio. I don't really have any, you see. And I've wanted a leather jacket for a really long time. So maybe it's all right. It fits me like it was made for me (which is rare, given my tiny size) and it's really, really cute. I'm already planning outfits with which I can wear it. Maybe my polka dotted dress that Kitty bought for me, and the boots Allie gave me? Perfect mix right there. I will do it, mark my words. I bought Sungmin and Mom chocolate at the candy store, and the lady gave me a bunch of samples. It's so good too. Chocolate is like poetry to the palate.
Because we are manly and amazing, and we could potentially win our town the race and be chaired through the marketplace, Kitty and I went running today. It was so tiring. Eventually, I persuaded her to go off by herself so I wouldn't hold her back, and I finished my exercise myself. She came bouncing into the house half an hour later, full of high spirits and seratonin, and perkily described the beneficial effects of running on the soul as I lounged here in this very seat, perusing the pages my baby Daisy Bell had to offer me. (Everyone's started calling her Daisy Bell, and I like the name myself, so I suppose she is duly christened) I wish I weren't out of shape, man. It would be such a nice thing. My roommate for OSU wants to go to the gym together, and that would be good, because it would inspire me to stop being a couch potato. Let's go man!
Oh! I never mentioned this, but it is wonderful! I was at Barnes and Noble, and I found A Shropshire Lad combined with Last Poems and every other piece A.E Housman ever wrote! I squealed and jumped up and down, and waved the book in some poor man's face, and then sat down and read the whole thing. I love him so much, oh man! I know he's a minor poet, and he has his flaws (some rather more glaring than others), but I don't know if there's anyone else I love more. I want the book more than I can say, but it's expensive, and actually, I'm a little embarrassed to buy a book I love, so for now, I'm going to content myself with reading it every time I go there. Wait, that's really weird. Why am I embarrassed to buy stuff I like? It's true, though, come to think of it, I never want to buy food I like, or notebooks, or anything. Even in non-monetary terms, I've always been a little ashamed to admit to liking what I like. Wtf, Jasmine. Get it together!
I've started picking my classes for college today. There are so many I want to take, and so many are completely impractical! If I signed up for Architecture, now, what help would that be to me? Or Renaissance and Medieval Studies? Perhaps Astronomy? Or Engineering (don't laugh)? Man, this is stressful! I want to learn everything, and I can't! I feel like Dr. Faust, and that's generally not a good thing. I suppose I'll have to pick at some point, and I've already narrowed it down quite a bit, but I still have a lot to weed out before I can embark on my 16-credit load (Mom won't let me take 18). Oh, I want to take choir too, but there's also orchestra to consider! I can't take both, obviously, so I need to make a choice. And if I did choose orchestra, would I play violin or viola? I just don't know! I was thinking to audition for everything and see which yields the most satisfactory results. Now I'm thinking like an economist! Good for me! Maybe I can make it onto the OMB yet.
Wellp, tomorrow is my last day at work (for the most part), and I need to make bags of candy to give the students because I am a paragon of human virtue and refinement, so off I go. Let's see if I can do this artistically while still allocating my scarce resources to the maximum efficiency. Goodnight, Daisy Bell!
IS THAT ME HUH
I don't know what to think! Kitty read it, and she said it was indeed me, and then Mom and Sungmin and Dad all came over and read it too, and agreed. This is all so confusing! What is happening? Who is John Galt? I need answers to my questions, people!
We went to the mall today (that was such an abrupt change I am sorry) after CKC, and Kitty and I went to Forever 21 (among other places) while Mom and Sungmin went to Gamestop and the like. Kitty bought a cute striped pencil skirt and a black shirt with studs, and I got this adorable black leather jacker. I felt so guilty for getting it, but it was on sale, and I need jackets for Ohio. I don't really have any, you see. And I've wanted a leather jacket for a really long time. So maybe it's all right. It fits me like it was made for me (which is rare, given my tiny size) and it's really, really cute. I'm already planning outfits with which I can wear it. Maybe my polka dotted dress that Kitty bought for me, and the boots Allie gave me? Perfect mix right there. I will do it, mark my words. I bought Sungmin and Mom chocolate at the candy store, and the lady gave me a bunch of samples. It's so good too. Chocolate is like poetry to the palate.
Because we are manly and amazing, and we could potentially win our town the race and be chaired through the marketplace, Kitty and I went running today. It was so tiring. Eventually, I persuaded her to go off by herself so I wouldn't hold her back, and I finished my exercise myself. She came bouncing into the house half an hour later, full of high spirits and seratonin, and perkily described the beneficial effects of running on the soul as I lounged here in this very seat, perusing the pages my baby Daisy Bell had to offer me. (Everyone's started calling her Daisy Bell, and I like the name myself, so I suppose she is duly christened) I wish I weren't out of shape, man. It would be such a nice thing. My roommate for OSU wants to go to the gym together, and that would be good, because it would inspire me to stop being a couch potato. Let's go man!
Oh! I never mentioned this, but it is wonderful! I was at Barnes and Noble, and I found A Shropshire Lad combined with Last Poems and every other piece A.E Housman ever wrote! I squealed and jumped up and down, and waved the book in some poor man's face, and then sat down and read the whole thing. I love him so much, oh man! I know he's a minor poet, and he has his flaws (some rather more glaring than others), but I don't know if there's anyone else I love more. I want the book more than I can say, but it's expensive, and actually, I'm a little embarrassed to buy a book I love, so for now, I'm going to content myself with reading it every time I go there. Wait, that's really weird. Why am I embarrassed to buy stuff I like? It's true, though, come to think of it, I never want to buy food I like, or notebooks, or anything. Even in non-monetary terms, I've always been a little ashamed to admit to liking what I like. Wtf, Jasmine. Get it together!
I've started picking my classes for college today. There are so many I want to take, and so many are completely impractical! If I signed up for Architecture, now, what help would that be to me? Or Renaissance and Medieval Studies? Perhaps Astronomy? Or Engineering (don't laugh)? Man, this is stressful! I want to learn everything, and I can't! I feel like Dr. Faust, and that's generally not a good thing. I suppose I'll have to pick at some point, and I've already narrowed it down quite a bit, but I still have a lot to weed out before I can embark on my 16-credit load (Mom won't let me take 18). Oh, I want to take choir too, but there's also orchestra to consider! I can't take both, obviously, so I need to make a choice. And if I did choose orchestra, would I play violin or viola? I just don't know! I was thinking to audition for everything and see which yields the most satisfactory results. Now I'm thinking like an economist! Good for me! Maybe I can make it onto the OMB yet.
Wellp, tomorrow is my last day at work (for the most part), and I need to make bags of candy to give the students because I am a paragon of human virtue and refinement, so off I go. Let's see if I can do this artistically while still allocating my scarce resources to the maximum efficiency. Goodnight, Daisy Bell!
Monday, July 22, 2013
First post on Baby!
I'm writing this on my very own computer! I sure am! Ain't that real exciting now? I went to the campus store today with Mom and Grandma, and we got it for me for school. I'm really happy! I love my baby dearly already, though I don't know what to name her. I was thinking of Daisy Bell, because of the song the first computers learned (and that Hal sang when he died), but I feel like people might not understand the reference, and just think I'm being cute. I mean, I do want it to be cute, but I don't want anyone to disrespect my baby girl either. So then I thought I could name her something twee and quirky like Eevee-Lution, but it's far from my fondest desire to be twee and quirky. Then I thought Silmarillion would be pretty cool, since she's the repository of knowledge and all, but I haven't actually read the Silmarillion (though I want to), so I think that would be fake. Perhaps Artemesia, after Artemesia Gentileschi? Or something from music? Maybe something after one of my beloved literary works? Oh goodness, there are so many possibilities! I'm sorry baby, I'm just not emotionally prepared for your christening!
Oh, time to eat. Kbye lol
Oh, time to eat. Kbye lol
Friday, July 19, 2013
Shameless promotion
I was looking up the national averages for the AP tests this year, and they were even more gratifying than I could have hoped. 11.9% of people got fives on Art History, and 11.2% got fives on Government, but the best part is this: 7.6% got fives on Lit. And I'm one of them. Ooh, whuttup! This explains why I haven't seen one person yet (either on tumblr or in real life) who's gotten anything more than a four. I'm not an egotistical jerk, really, but I had to brag, because I can't exactly go around shouting it from the rooftops. Actually, I suppose I could. I should have posted my scores on facebook when I got them and everyone else did. I suppose it's too late now. Now no one will ever know of my genius. Boy oh boy, I really am an egotistical jerk, aren't I. But you have to understand, this is an extremely validating moment for me. I've lived my whole life (or at least up until this year) thinking that English is second nature to everyone, that prowess at reading and writing isn't anything more special than breathing, and that I had no talents whatsoever. So to see that it really is pretty cool to be good at something– that's what everyone lives for, right? You know, I also got a five on AP Lang last year and 10.9% of people got that. It's also the biggest test administered. That didn't register as much with me, though, because the class was so ridiculously easy, and because I was so ashamed of my fours on the other tests. I didn't study for them, though. I read a page on slavery once for APUSH, and that was all. Of course, I didn't study for Spanish either (lol what AP Chem, I didn't take that class). You'd think I would have learned my lesson for this year.
Sure did work out in the end though!
It even worked out in math. I'm really surprised. I got a four on the final for Calc, and I never actually failed any of our practice tests, and now I can skip math placement tests for college because of my passing score. So I'm really happy. Maybe I'm not actually as bad at math as I thought. The gene in our family didn't skip me after all! (ugh there really is a gene though I mean Mom got a 790 on her math SAT and took crazy hard classes in college and stuff and then of course Zac is a math major– sort of– and presented his research at an international convention and all that, and Kitty's been getting perfect scores on her math tests and etc etc etc.) I'm in such a mood for shameless self-aggrandizement right now! I want someone to laud me and tell me how wonderful I am! Or at the very least, I want someone to know how I did. Well, I guess our teacher will know. Collegeboard sends the scores back to the school. I'd like to think that he knows already, and this is a terribly conceited thing to say, but I got the highest score on every single multiple choice test we ever took except for one (we took plenty too), and I never wrote an essay that scored below a six (actually, my scores steadily increased throughout the year, and I ended with solid nines). Not only that, but I got perfect scores on everything (individual) we ever did. I think I ended the class with 110% or something like that. So, if he wanted to predict our scores, hopefully he would think of me with a five in mind.
Ya know, everyone in my class started to respect me after awhile, and that was part of the reason I loved it so much. Of course, I've been in honors/AP classes since freshman year, and I've always had at least a 3.9, but I don't think most people really looked at me as "smart" because of my voice and my clothes and my looks. In fact, everyone who didn't know me very well thought I was quite a bimbo. So when everyone universally started to respect me for the first time in my life, it really changed how I saw the world. I stopped hating everyone so much, and started feeling better about myself too, and just in general sort of un-embittered myself. I don't think you can imagine how wonderful it was to have people realize that I was the top student in the class, not the bottom, and that I was someone whom they could always ask for help. I've never been thought of as the leader in anything, not in school, nor at home, or in fact anywhere, and it seems like such a small thing to be recognized, but it was (and is) so enormous to me. Hearing people say things like, "She knows everything," or "Don't worry, Jasmine can do it," just made my day, and because people said things like that almost every day, it was impossible not to be happy in that class. Of course, it would have been impossible not to be happy in the class anyway, just because everything about it was so superlatively perfect, but you know. I loved Lit so much that I sometimes told myself it was coming when I got up in the morning, to give myself a reason to get out of bed. Oh goodness, why am I such a silly person? I'm going to blush with shame twenty years hence when I read this to realize how easily affected I was (am?). Well, nothing to do about that. That's Future Jasmine's problem, and she can deal with it herself, being the mature adult she is.
Okay, that's all about that. Man, I wrote a lot. I felt like it had to be said, though.
Oh! I really can go to Ohio State! I didn't dare make plans for it or anything, because I didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing, but we all talked about it, and we agreed that if Dad can stop spending hundreds of dollars a month on quack supplements, we can afford to send me there. I'm so happy and excited! I feel (rather melodramatically) as if Beatrice had pulled me off the road to perdition at the last minute. Is that the best allusion to use? It's not. Oh dear. Well, it was what sprang to mind. Now I can go to a real university, and get a real education, and have a real shot at life! I've called and set up orientation, and I've been talking to my roommate on facebook, and we're looking into plane tickets, and oh my goodness, it looks like it's actually going to happen! When I remember what's happening, I smile goofily to myself, and bounce up and down internally. The only fly in my ointment is the fact that I'm taking up so much of the family resources for so little gain. I feel so terrible whenever anyone mentions money in any context that I would almost be willing to go to Long Beach after all, were my ego not so massive. Ugh, I'm such a horrible human being. I wish I were more saintly. Well, no, I don't really. Or do I? Oh no, what a tangled web! Whee, college, though! I'm on an emotional rollercoaster every day, and there is no denying it.
I went to market night with Kitty, and a whole bunch of our afternoon students at the community college were there. So we got away from them, and then Sonia showed up. Bluh. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly, and I'm going to miss her like fresh meat needs salt when I leave, but sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone. You know? Kitty is the same way. In fact, all our family is. I suppose we're extraordinarily lucky that we don't mind each others' company at any given time. I know many families don't have that privilege.
I'm almost done with work at the community college, speaking (ish) of which! At least, I'm almost done with the ESL morning class. My last day is next Thursday. It's great and all, but I'm really very ready to be done. The two teachers are horrible, and I don't think I could take more of their antics than I had to. Yesterday, the lady went over an eight-line dialogue for twenty minutes, and when she noticed that the students weren't engaged, she yelled at them. One brave soul told her that it was boring because it was too easy, and she flipped out. She screamed for twenty minutes more about how he obviously didn't understand anything, because he couldn't possibly think it was easy otherwise, how stupid the class was in general, how no one was allowed to find the lesson boring, how it was their own fault if they were bored because their minds were limited, and so on and so on, while the other teacher slipped in snide remarks here and there. Once she was done, she went on with the "lesson," which really wasn't a lesson at all, but stopped every other sentence to deliver some cutting remark. The poor students were terrified, especially mine, because she didn't understand why she was being yelled at, and the teachers got mad at them for that too. None of them talk in class anymore, because if they do, they get yelled at, misunderstood, or made fun of, usually all three, by both teachers, and they don't dare ask questions either. It's really a bad situation. Today, one of the girls was late because the bus was late, so the teacher (the man) said loudly, "You're LATE! Next time, buy a Ferrari. Oh wait– YOU CAN'T!" Then he laughed for about a minute. The other teacher thought this was pretty funny, and joined in with some snippy rejoinder about the working class. Meanwhile, everyone else was sitting in awkward silence. And it's not like the teachers are any good example of timeliness either! The lady is always at least fifteen minutes late to class, and the man is never the first one in the room. It's so annoying. I mean, if I can drag myself there on time, surely anyone should be able to. The afternoon class is marginally better, because Kitty and I are in charge of it. On the other hand, it comprises a roomful of twelve-year-old boys, none of whom speak English to any degree, and it lasts for twice as long. I suppose I need to brush up on my sports terminology. Basketball is the one with bases, right?
I suppose I really should go to bed. It's 1:39, and everyone else is asleep already. If the CIA were going to come and catch me, now would be the time. And as I don't want them to catch me, I better go up to bed and safety so that I can live to talk about basketball another day. Goodnight now!
Sure did work out in the end though!
It even worked out in math. I'm really surprised. I got a four on the final for Calc, and I never actually failed any of our practice tests, and now I can skip math placement tests for college because of my passing score. So I'm really happy. Maybe I'm not actually as bad at math as I thought. The gene in our family didn't skip me after all! (ugh there really is a gene though I mean Mom got a 790 on her math SAT and took crazy hard classes in college and stuff and then of course Zac is a math major– sort of– and presented his research at an international convention and all that, and Kitty's been getting perfect scores on her math tests and etc etc etc.) I'm in such a mood for shameless self-aggrandizement right now! I want someone to laud me and tell me how wonderful I am! Or at the very least, I want someone to know how I did. Well, I guess our teacher will know. Collegeboard sends the scores back to the school. I'd like to think that he knows already, and this is a terribly conceited thing to say, but I got the highest score on every single multiple choice test we ever took except for one (we took plenty too), and I never wrote an essay that scored below a six (actually, my scores steadily increased throughout the year, and I ended with solid nines). Not only that, but I got perfect scores on everything (individual) we ever did. I think I ended the class with 110% or something like that. So, if he wanted to predict our scores, hopefully he would think of me with a five in mind.
Ya know, everyone in my class started to respect me after awhile, and that was part of the reason I loved it so much. Of course, I've been in honors/AP classes since freshman year, and I've always had at least a 3.9, but I don't think most people really looked at me as "smart" because of my voice and my clothes and my looks. In fact, everyone who didn't know me very well thought I was quite a bimbo. So when everyone universally started to respect me for the first time in my life, it really changed how I saw the world. I stopped hating everyone so much, and started feeling better about myself too, and just in general sort of un-embittered myself. I don't think you can imagine how wonderful it was to have people realize that I was the top student in the class, not the bottom, and that I was someone whom they could always ask for help. I've never been thought of as the leader in anything, not in school, nor at home, or in fact anywhere, and it seems like such a small thing to be recognized, but it was (and is) so enormous to me. Hearing people say things like, "She knows everything," or "Don't worry, Jasmine can do it," just made my day, and because people said things like that almost every day, it was impossible not to be happy in that class. Of course, it would have been impossible not to be happy in the class anyway, just because everything about it was so superlatively perfect, but you know. I loved Lit so much that I sometimes told myself it was coming when I got up in the morning, to give myself a reason to get out of bed. Oh goodness, why am I such a silly person? I'm going to blush with shame twenty years hence when I read this to realize how easily affected I was (am?). Well, nothing to do about that. That's Future Jasmine's problem, and she can deal with it herself, being the mature adult she is.
Okay, that's all about that. Man, I wrote a lot. I felt like it had to be said, though.
Oh! I really can go to Ohio State! I didn't dare make plans for it or anything, because I didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing, but we all talked about it, and we agreed that if Dad can stop spending hundreds of dollars a month on quack supplements, we can afford to send me there. I'm so happy and excited! I feel (rather melodramatically) as if Beatrice had pulled me off the road to perdition at the last minute. Is that the best allusion to use? It's not. Oh dear. Well, it was what sprang to mind. Now I can go to a real university, and get a real education, and have a real shot at life! I've called and set up orientation, and I've been talking to my roommate on facebook, and we're looking into plane tickets, and oh my goodness, it looks like it's actually going to happen! When I remember what's happening, I smile goofily to myself, and bounce up and down internally. The only fly in my ointment is the fact that I'm taking up so much of the family resources for so little gain. I feel so terrible whenever anyone mentions money in any context that I would almost be willing to go to Long Beach after all, were my ego not so massive. Ugh, I'm such a horrible human being. I wish I were more saintly. Well, no, I don't really. Or do I? Oh no, what a tangled web! Whee, college, though! I'm on an emotional rollercoaster every day, and there is no denying it.
I went to market night with Kitty, and a whole bunch of our afternoon students at the community college were there. So we got away from them, and then Sonia showed up. Bluh. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly, and I'm going to miss her like fresh meat needs salt when I leave, but sometimes I don't want to talk to anyone. You know? Kitty is the same way. In fact, all our family is. I suppose we're extraordinarily lucky that we don't mind each others' company at any given time. I know many families don't have that privilege.
I'm almost done with work at the community college, speaking (ish) of which! At least, I'm almost done with the ESL morning class. My last day is next Thursday. It's great and all, but I'm really very ready to be done. The two teachers are horrible, and I don't think I could take more of their antics than I had to. Yesterday, the lady went over an eight-line dialogue for twenty minutes, and when she noticed that the students weren't engaged, she yelled at them. One brave soul told her that it was boring because it was too easy, and she flipped out. She screamed for twenty minutes more about how he obviously didn't understand anything, because he couldn't possibly think it was easy otherwise, how stupid the class was in general, how no one was allowed to find the lesson boring, how it was their own fault if they were bored because their minds were limited, and so on and so on, while the other teacher slipped in snide remarks here and there. Once she was done, she went on with the "lesson," which really wasn't a lesson at all, but stopped every other sentence to deliver some cutting remark. The poor students were terrified, especially mine, because she didn't understand why she was being yelled at, and the teachers got mad at them for that too. None of them talk in class anymore, because if they do, they get yelled at, misunderstood, or made fun of, usually all three, by both teachers, and they don't dare ask questions either. It's really a bad situation. Today, one of the girls was late because the bus was late, so the teacher (the man) said loudly, "You're LATE! Next time, buy a Ferrari. Oh wait– YOU CAN'T!" Then he laughed for about a minute. The other teacher thought this was pretty funny, and joined in with some snippy rejoinder about the working class. Meanwhile, everyone else was sitting in awkward silence. And it's not like the teachers are any good example of timeliness either! The lady is always at least fifteen minutes late to class, and the man is never the first one in the room. It's so annoying. I mean, if I can drag myself there on time, surely anyone should be able to. The afternoon class is marginally better, because Kitty and I are in charge of it. On the other hand, it comprises a roomful of twelve-year-old boys, none of whom speak English to any degree, and it lasts for twice as long. I suppose I need to brush up on my sports terminology. Basketball is the one with bases, right?
I suppose I really should go to bed. It's 1:39, and everyone else is asleep already. If the CIA were going to come and catch me, now would be the time. And as I don't want them to catch me, I better go up to bed and safety so that I can live to talk about basketball another day. Goodnight now!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
All about my life
Oh, goodness me, it's the 200th post! I feel like I should have something spectacular to say, but I don't. Can't someone write a song about this moment or something?
I don't have work tomorrow, yay! The students have their semester final, and there's no need for a TA during something like that, so I get to stay home and sleep in. I'm really happy. Sleep may be for the weak, but it makes the weak strong, and that's something to which no one could object. I hardly know what I'm saying. Maybe I will later.
We had a practice SAT English test for the high school age CKC kids today, in lieu of a regular music class (since it is summer). Since Mom had to do some other stuff, I did the teaching, and really, I was happy to do it, but two of the other teen mentors (neither of whom are remotely qualified to be mentors) decided to take the test too, and they were the most obstreperous and irritating specimens I have ever had the misfortune to direct. The little pustules sat there talking and disrupting everything and not listening and making complete nuisances of themselves. I'd be more willing to tolerate their rudeness if they were smart, but unfortunately, they are both remarkably dim. All the CKC kids tested circles around them, and bear in mind, if you will, that the CKC kids don't have the benefit of what could be called "schooling." I mean, let's be real here, the San Bernardino school system is horrible. From what we've heard from the kids, the teachers are mean and abuse their power, and never teach anything. One girl nearly failed her English class because the teacher didn't like her. Anyway, the kids are mostly pretty bright, so they were doing well, and understanding why they were doing well, while the two poster children for white privilege were demonstrating very little aptitude for anything but insubordination. Ugh, it was so annoying. I don't think I could ever be a teacher.
Ya know, I got a perfect 800 on the English portion of my SAT, and a 790 (ugh) on writing, and it was as easy as Warrant's cherry pie (which I'm listening to, coincidentally), and I honestly don't understand how it's possible to do so abysmally. I really don't. It seems like it should just be intuitive, you know? I suppose for literature and stuff, it's a little harder (though not necessarily much), but for stuff like this, it seems like you should be able to just know the answers.
I feel like a jerk now. I'm so puffed up, ugh.
But I really don't understand why it's hard.
The other day, Austin asked me what I would do if someone wrote a song for me. Of course, this has already happened, but I felt like it would be rude to say that, so I said it would be flattering and lovely, don'tcha know, or something of that ilk. Then he asked if I would still like it if it was really bad, and I said of course. Cuz I would. And that was that. But it was cute. He's cute. Everything he says is so funny and adorable, and then I reply with stupid puns, or allusions, or weird things in general, and it makes me realize how good it is that I'm not ugly, because if I was, I would have nothing going for me. He always replies to me, though, and seems happy to talk to me, so maybe it's not so bad after all. I mean, I would love to have a conversation partner like me. We could talk about literature all day and I wouldn't have to reply on time, because I wouldn't either. Ooh, that sounded like a science fiction story or something. But it's true, I never do text back on time.
Oh my goodness, I went to listen to Paradise City on Youtube (don't laugh at me, it's a classic for a reason), and there was this ad before it played, and it was a full length rendition of Trouble by Taylor Swift, only written about stubble, like mustaches (or femme staches I guess), and I thought it was going to be some clever thing for wax or something, but it was for some shoddy amateur band, and I was so disappointed. I guess I should be supportive of my fellow artists and all, and really, they did a good job, but it would have been funnier if it were some real product. That's expensive, though. We learned about that in Econ when we did marketing and game strategies. It was very interesting. Actually, now that I mention it, how did this amateur band get the funding to do that? Maybe they embezzled it from a mustache-waxing company.
Ethan put the pictures up from my senior recital, and there was one of me, him, Francisco, Austin, and Chris, and I tagged all of us (since he hadn't). The poster of the photo has to approve the tags, so that was Ethan's job. He approved all of them except Francisco's. And that's because during intermission, when I was getting water, both of them followed me out to the lobby, and we were talking. Then Francisco asked me in a very seductive voice if he could ask me a question. Ethan faded courteously into the background (which was very polite of him, I must say), and Francisco looked me deep in the eyes, and said, "Jasmine, can I have a ride?" Poor Ethan thought he was asking me out, and I guess he thought that was presumptuous. But that's the story. I don't really know why I decided to share that with you. I suppose I just thought it was funny. I was really happy that Francisco came to my recital, though! I was so happy to see him! I will never get tired of being with that silly twerp. Maybe he can be my Maid of Honor someday.
Speaking of which (ish)! Our family got hired to play a wedding! We were playing for a local church, and this lovely couple saw us and hired us. They're so cute, it's vastly inspirational. I also appreciate that they're paying us. They asked us to do music for about half an hour for the prelude and for the reception as well as for the ceremony, so it's quite a job. Still, none of us mind, because it's fun to play chamber music. The bride wants me to sing The Prayer at the reception, and I hope no one will be listening to it, because we had to arrange it ourselves, and there are some very questionable elements to it. Ooh, but we thought they wanted us to do Bless This House, which is an old hymn, so I arranged it for violin, viola, cello, and voice (me), and it was beautiful. I even wrote my own bridge. But it turns out one of their friends is doing it! I was excessively disappointed. Maybe I will sell the rights to my arrangement on eBay for millions of dollars and pay for college.
Mom and I have to play in church this Saturday, because the wife of the director accompanied me at my recital for free, and now we have to be on call as the requisite violists of the town whether we want to or not. I actually don't mind, though. Though it makes me sound like the haughtiest of prospective divas to say it, I like to perform. And I feel like it's my duty to do it. So that's settled. I do wonder what it is we're playing though.
I have another gig too, only no one knows about it save me! Roger texted me really late last night asking me to help the choir at his church next month because they're really bad. I said yes, because it's him, and because I miss singing in choir already. But now that I think of it, it might be a tad bit awkward. I really don't know anyone my age at his church (though I do know a lot of the adults from volunteering at the hospital with them), because I haven't played in the orchestra there in years. Come to think of it, I don't think there's been an orchestra in years. I mean, I've soloed there with my family and stuff, but that's not really conducive to making lasting friendships, you see? So I'm not sure what I'll do. Wellp, it's not like I've never been the Kevin of a choral group before. I suppose this is what I must do. Some men are born Kevins, some achieve Kevin status, and some have Kevin-hood thrust upon them. It is my lot in life to bear this load, and I will bear it uncomplainingly until the day I start making a fuss about it. Maybe it will be good for my poetry.
On Kevin-hood:
Oh my heart
Oh my soul
Kevin is my name
And like the pale waters' transcendent snow
The flush fades from the faces of the sky
While the rippling on stone
And the ring of silver
Flashes into my consciousness
Like starlight.
Well, I'll be. That's very good. I never knew I was such a modernist. I should write a proper book and become known in all the literary circles. I can wear a beret and get tattoos of dragons and start smoking. I will even get a new tumblr to deal with my newfound passion. It will be a lifestyle, and none can tell me different.
I realize I talk about literature and poetry and English way too much. I should branch out some more; I must be very annoying.
SO! How bout them Dodgers, huh? Bet chu didn't know they was 24 and 0 this season! They've got a real shot at the gold, especially after that play of Kobe's in the last inning. I gotta hand it to em, they really know how to utilize their halfbacks. That's strategy right there! They've got a chance in the World Cup this year too, if the San Francisco Stallions don't beat them to the punch. I bet the statisticians are having a field day with em too!
Field day, that's a pun, you see.
Okeydokey, this is more abrupt than the end of Heart of Darkness, but it's time for me to hit the hay. Kitty just went to bed, and I'm afraid the CIA will see me down here by myself and come in to kidnap me, so I'm going to foil their dastardly plans by going upstairs and hiding under the sheets. I'm a real warrior, I am. Okay, goodnight!
I don't have work tomorrow, yay! The students have their semester final, and there's no need for a TA during something like that, so I get to stay home and sleep in. I'm really happy. Sleep may be for the weak, but it makes the weak strong, and that's something to which no one could object. I hardly know what I'm saying. Maybe I will later.
We had a practice SAT English test for the high school age CKC kids today, in lieu of a regular music class (since it is summer). Since Mom had to do some other stuff, I did the teaching, and really, I was happy to do it, but two of the other teen mentors (neither of whom are remotely qualified to be mentors) decided to take the test too, and they were the most obstreperous and irritating specimens I have ever had the misfortune to direct. The little pustules sat there talking and disrupting everything and not listening and making complete nuisances of themselves. I'd be more willing to tolerate their rudeness if they were smart, but unfortunately, they are both remarkably dim. All the CKC kids tested circles around them, and bear in mind, if you will, that the CKC kids don't have the benefit of what could be called "schooling." I mean, let's be real here, the San Bernardino school system is horrible. From what we've heard from the kids, the teachers are mean and abuse their power, and never teach anything. One girl nearly failed her English class because the teacher didn't like her. Anyway, the kids are mostly pretty bright, so they were doing well, and understanding why they were doing well, while the two poster children for white privilege were demonstrating very little aptitude for anything but insubordination. Ugh, it was so annoying. I don't think I could ever be a teacher.
Ya know, I got a perfect 800 on the English portion of my SAT, and a 790 (ugh) on writing, and it was as easy as Warrant's cherry pie (which I'm listening to, coincidentally), and I honestly don't understand how it's possible to do so abysmally. I really don't. It seems like it should just be intuitive, you know? I suppose for literature and stuff, it's a little harder (though not necessarily much), but for stuff like this, it seems like you should be able to just know the answers.
I feel like a jerk now. I'm so puffed up, ugh.
But I really don't understand why it's hard.
The other day, Austin asked me what I would do if someone wrote a song for me. Of course, this has already happened, but I felt like it would be rude to say that, so I said it would be flattering and lovely, don'tcha know, or something of that ilk. Then he asked if I would still like it if it was really bad, and I said of course. Cuz I would. And that was that. But it was cute. He's cute. Everything he says is so funny and adorable, and then I reply with stupid puns, or allusions, or weird things in general, and it makes me realize how good it is that I'm not ugly, because if I was, I would have nothing going for me. He always replies to me, though, and seems happy to talk to me, so maybe it's not so bad after all. I mean, I would love to have a conversation partner like me. We could talk about literature all day and I wouldn't have to reply on time, because I wouldn't either. Ooh, that sounded like a science fiction story or something. But it's true, I never do text back on time.
Oh my goodness, I went to listen to Paradise City on Youtube (don't laugh at me, it's a classic for a reason), and there was this ad before it played, and it was a full length rendition of Trouble by Taylor Swift, only written about stubble, like mustaches (or femme staches I guess), and I thought it was going to be some clever thing for wax or something, but it was for some shoddy amateur band, and I was so disappointed. I guess I should be supportive of my fellow artists and all, and really, they did a good job, but it would have been funnier if it were some real product. That's expensive, though. We learned about that in Econ when we did marketing and game strategies. It was very interesting. Actually, now that I mention it, how did this amateur band get the funding to do that? Maybe they embezzled it from a mustache-waxing company.
Ethan put the pictures up from my senior recital, and there was one of me, him, Francisco, Austin, and Chris, and I tagged all of us (since he hadn't). The poster of the photo has to approve the tags, so that was Ethan's job. He approved all of them except Francisco's. And that's because during intermission, when I was getting water, both of them followed me out to the lobby, and we were talking. Then Francisco asked me in a very seductive voice if he could ask me a question. Ethan faded courteously into the background (which was very polite of him, I must say), and Francisco looked me deep in the eyes, and said, "Jasmine, can I have a ride?" Poor Ethan thought he was asking me out, and I guess he thought that was presumptuous. But that's the story. I don't really know why I decided to share that with you. I suppose I just thought it was funny. I was really happy that Francisco came to my recital, though! I was so happy to see him! I will never get tired of being with that silly twerp. Maybe he can be my Maid of Honor someday.
Speaking of which (ish)! Our family got hired to play a wedding! We were playing for a local church, and this lovely couple saw us and hired us. They're so cute, it's vastly inspirational. I also appreciate that they're paying us. They asked us to do music for about half an hour for the prelude and for the reception as well as for the ceremony, so it's quite a job. Still, none of us mind, because it's fun to play chamber music. The bride wants me to sing The Prayer at the reception, and I hope no one will be listening to it, because we had to arrange it ourselves, and there are some very questionable elements to it. Ooh, but we thought they wanted us to do Bless This House, which is an old hymn, so I arranged it for violin, viola, cello, and voice (me), and it was beautiful. I even wrote my own bridge. But it turns out one of their friends is doing it! I was excessively disappointed. Maybe I will sell the rights to my arrangement on eBay for millions of dollars and pay for college.
Mom and I have to play in church this Saturday, because the wife of the director accompanied me at my recital for free, and now we have to be on call as the requisite violists of the town whether we want to or not. I actually don't mind, though. Though it makes me sound like the haughtiest of prospective divas to say it, I like to perform. And I feel like it's my duty to do it. So that's settled. I do wonder what it is we're playing though.
I have another gig too, only no one knows about it save me! Roger texted me really late last night asking me to help the choir at his church next month because they're really bad. I said yes, because it's him, and because I miss singing in choir already. But now that I think of it, it might be a tad bit awkward. I really don't know anyone my age at his church (though I do know a lot of the adults from volunteering at the hospital with them), because I haven't played in the orchestra there in years. Come to think of it, I don't think there's been an orchestra in years. I mean, I've soloed there with my family and stuff, but that's not really conducive to making lasting friendships, you see? So I'm not sure what I'll do. Wellp, it's not like I've never been the Kevin of a choral group before. I suppose this is what I must do. Some men are born Kevins, some achieve Kevin status, and some have Kevin-hood thrust upon them. It is my lot in life to bear this load, and I will bear it uncomplainingly until the day I start making a fuss about it. Maybe it will be good for my poetry.
On Kevin-hood:
Oh my heart
Oh my soul
Kevin is my name
And like the pale waters' transcendent snow
The flush fades from the faces of the sky
While the rippling on stone
And the ring of silver
Flashes into my consciousness
Like starlight.
Well, I'll be. That's very good. I never knew I was such a modernist. I should write a proper book and become known in all the literary circles. I can wear a beret and get tattoos of dragons and start smoking. I will even get a new tumblr to deal with my newfound passion. It will be a lifestyle, and none can tell me different.
I realize I talk about literature and poetry and English way too much. I should branch out some more; I must be very annoying.
SO! How bout them Dodgers, huh? Bet chu didn't know they was 24 and 0 this season! They've got a real shot at the gold, especially after that play of Kobe's in the last inning. I gotta hand it to em, they really know how to utilize their halfbacks. That's strategy right there! They've got a chance in the World Cup this year too, if the San Francisco Stallions don't beat them to the punch. I bet the statisticians are having a field day with em too!
Field day, that's a pun, you see.
Okeydokey, this is more abrupt than the end of Heart of Darkness, but it's time for me to hit the hay. Kitty just went to bed, and I'm afraid the CIA will see me down here by myself and come in to kidnap me, so I'm going to foil their dastardly plans by going upstairs and hiding under the sheets. I'm a real warrior, I am. Okay, goodnight!
Sunday, July 7, 2013
ESL and AP (them's acronyms)
I finally got my AP scores, and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.
By that, I mean it was beautiful. WHUDDUP.
I didn't want to raise my hopes for nothing, so I didn't expect fives on anything except Lit, and I thought I wouldn't pass Calc either, but I did! I passed it! I got fives on Art History and Government too, and a four on Econ. Oh yes, I got a five for Lit too, of course. Whee! I'm so excited! I was really afraid for calc, actually, cuz the multiple choice was really hard, and I messed up one of the free responses so badly that all I could do was write a bunch of math puns on it and hope for the best. But I guess the other ones were acceptable, or at least acceptable enough to let me pass. Maybe I can place out of some math classes in college now! Ya know, I was also really worried about Econ, actually, because although I really like it, I'm not great at it, and I didn't study for it, and there was a lot of foreign exchange stuff (which I'm really not great at) (ew ungrammatical). One of the free response questions was pretty weird, too. But there was a good number of questions about the various curves and graphs and shifters and whatnot, and I'm fabulous with those, so that saved me. Government and Art History seemed too easy to me; it seemed like I knew every single multiple choice question, and the FRQs weren't too hard either, so I thought I'd failed them (even though deep down in the bottom of my soul where I keep the things I don't want to admit, I was pretty sure I'd done really well). But, well-p, seems they really were easy. There weren't any unusual court cases on the Government exam, I mean, I knew all of them, and I might know a lot of court cases, but I don't know the half of it, you see what I mean? There was also a lot of stuff about the courts, and since that's what I want out of life (to be on the administering end, not the receiving end), I know that pretty well. But, you know, in general, I'm really pretty good at government. I like it, you see. And it's easy. I never studied, except a little bit on tour, and I hadn't had the class since first semester, and I still know the stuff. So there ya have it. Speaking of easy stuff, the Lit exam was extremely disappointing. I love taking tests in English, easy or not, but still, I feel like they could have stepped up their game. There was only one question about rhyme scheme, and only one about meter, and both were very conventional. I was hoping they would have some big blow-out extravaganza with spondees and anapests and forms which haven't been in common use since sixteenth-century France, but nope, they asked about terza rima or something (I can't remember precisely what it was). And the analysis was so shallow! The exercises we did in class were much more fun. There wasn't a single challenging question on there (maybe there was one), and it was almost as bad as the SAT. The free response was a bit better, since I got to do my own analysis, but the questions were exactly like the ones we'd had in class, maybe easier. I won't deny I had fun, though; I was actually sorry when the proctors called time. And, that was that. We were really well prepared, I think. I will fight anyone who dares dispute that AP Lit is the best and most awesome class that ever came across my path in this life of mine.
So. Three fives, a four, and a three. I won't deny that I would have done better if I'd studied (especially in Calc), but I think it's a job well done overall.
I should probably go take a shower. I have work in the morning, and I look like a goon. But my head hurts too much to move. Ugh. This is why it's the best of times and the worst of times. Perhaps taking a shower will help my head. Do you think that could be the case? It still seems like a bit too troublesome to be worth my very valuable time.
Ooh, I never expounded upon my new job! It's a job, it is. There's this community college in the next town over, and it's got more problems than the Republican party. Mom did a series of lectures there for awhile, but she stopped when they refused to pay her – and that's the least of their worries. But anyway, since they have so many problems, they are in constant need of teachers, and they were perfectly amenable to the idea of hiring me. I do get paid, fortunately (albeit rather sporadically), and even though I make more teaching violin, it's good money, and good experience to boot. I'm technically a tutor for one particularly lost ESL student, but my job title never bothered anyone. I help the other students in the class, act as the TA, and occasionally, even teach the class (which brings the grand total of teachers in the class up to three). It's interesting, though, and I'm wondering now if I could teach ESL in order to pay off my student loans. Well, okay, I'm pretty positive I could teach ESL. I'd do a better job than the teachers they have at the school, anyway. Our current "professor," a professional farmer whose son is the one and only secretary and whose level of English is only slightly higher than the students', never follows the lesson plan, and never teaches anything. The class is called Speaking and Listening, so one would assume something of that nature would be going on, right? Not at our school! The teacher has gotten rid of all the tapes, and asks the students to write simple sentences for the entire time, sentences which he never checks or asks them to read. And this might not seem so bad, but they're literally, "He is singing" and "I'm going to the store." This is stuff the students already know, you see, and he never gives them vocab words, or helps with grammar (which he spells "gramer") or anything. The curriculum isn't that bad; it has a lot of stuff the students don't know and should learn, but he doesn't pay attention to it beyond looking at the pictures and trying to teach them what they are. They know what the pictures are, thanks, they're grown men and women, not babies! On Wednesday, he tried to explain what a bank was (spectacularly unsuccessfully, may I add). As if this wasn't bad enough, he's unbelievably rude to the poor people. Whenever they say anything (which is rare), he "corrects" it to something that is either incorrect or trivially different, picks on their accents, and mocks them in general. He's always poking fun at them, in a very rude way, and he's incredibly racist. There's not much I can do, because I'm younger than everyone in the room by a good ten years, and it's not my job to interfere. What I'd like to do is teach the class myself, but that doesn't help my student much, and my responsibility is to her. Ugh, it's just so frustrating though! Now, they're starting up a summer program for kids who want to learn English, and they want me to take care of it, so I start that on Monday, or tomorrow, I guess. They're okay with Kitty helping, since taking care of sixty twelve-year-olds is one of my biggest nightmares, and she doesn't mind (literally, though, there are sixty-something kids signed up). I don't know how I'm going to deal with this. I need to find a good outfit. Something that will garner respect, and make them want to do what I tell them. No little girl dresses for me! Unfortunately, little girl dresses (and skirts and ballet flats and whatnot) constitute 95% of my wardrobe. Maybe I should go for the sexy secretary look. I can wear a pencil skirt and a blouse and heels (I'll have to borrow the heels from Kitty). I can put my hair in a bun, too. Oh yeah, babe. This is sartorial Sparta.
Ugh, now Dad has settled himself down on the couch and is holding forth on how much he is able to sweat, and indeed, how much he sweated today. I suppose it's very interesting and educational (to some, at least). Perhaps he could publish his findings in a book.
Well, no more stalling, now. It's time for me to go get clean. This is it, Jasmine. Time to get up. Let's go. Yup. Up, up. Clay lies still, but blood's a rover, breath's a ware that will not keep. Up lad, when the journey's over, there'll be time enough to sleep! Incidentally, I quote that poem to myself every day when I'm trying to get out of bed. Anyway! Up you go! Let's show a leg there! Come on! Hop to it! Vamoose! Maybe I will be an inspirational speaker someday.
By that, I mean it was beautiful. WHUDDUP.
I didn't want to raise my hopes for nothing, so I didn't expect fives on anything except Lit, and I thought I wouldn't pass Calc either, but I did! I passed it! I got fives on Art History and Government too, and a four on Econ. Oh yes, I got a five for Lit too, of course. Whee! I'm so excited! I was really afraid for calc, actually, cuz the multiple choice was really hard, and I messed up one of the free responses so badly that all I could do was write a bunch of math puns on it and hope for the best. But I guess the other ones were acceptable, or at least acceptable enough to let me pass. Maybe I can place out of some math classes in college now! Ya know, I was also really worried about Econ, actually, because although I really like it, I'm not great at it, and I didn't study for it, and there was a lot of foreign exchange stuff (which I'm really not great at) (ew ungrammatical). One of the free response questions was pretty weird, too. But there was a good number of questions about the various curves and graphs and shifters and whatnot, and I'm fabulous with those, so that saved me. Government and Art History seemed too easy to me; it seemed like I knew every single multiple choice question, and the FRQs weren't too hard either, so I thought I'd failed them (even though deep down in the bottom of my soul where I keep the things I don't want to admit, I was pretty sure I'd done really well). But, well-p, seems they really were easy. There weren't any unusual court cases on the Government exam, I mean, I knew all of them, and I might know a lot of court cases, but I don't know the half of it, you see what I mean? There was also a lot of stuff about the courts, and since that's what I want out of life (to be on the administering end, not the receiving end), I know that pretty well. But, you know, in general, I'm really pretty good at government. I like it, you see. And it's easy. I never studied, except a little bit on tour, and I hadn't had the class since first semester, and I still know the stuff. So there ya have it. Speaking of easy stuff, the Lit exam was extremely disappointing. I love taking tests in English, easy or not, but still, I feel like they could have stepped up their game. There was only one question about rhyme scheme, and only one about meter, and both were very conventional. I was hoping they would have some big blow-out extravaganza with spondees and anapests and forms which haven't been in common use since sixteenth-century France, but nope, they asked about terza rima or something (I can't remember precisely what it was). And the analysis was so shallow! The exercises we did in class were much more fun. There wasn't a single challenging question on there (maybe there was one), and it was almost as bad as the SAT. The free response was a bit better, since I got to do my own analysis, but the questions were exactly like the ones we'd had in class, maybe easier. I won't deny I had fun, though; I was actually sorry when the proctors called time. And, that was that. We were really well prepared, I think. I will fight anyone who dares dispute that AP Lit is the best and most awesome class that ever came across my path in this life of mine.
So. Three fives, a four, and a three. I won't deny that I would have done better if I'd studied (especially in Calc), but I think it's a job well done overall.
I should probably go take a shower. I have work in the morning, and I look like a goon. But my head hurts too much to move. Ugh. This is why it's the best of times and the worst of times. Perhaps taking a shower will help my head. Do you think that could be the case? It still seems like a bit too troublesome to be worth my very valuable time.
Ooh, I never expounded upon my new job! It's a job, it is. There's this community college in the next town over, and it's got more problems than the Republican party. Mom did a series of lectures there for awhile, but she stopped when they refused to pay her – and that's the least of their worries. But anyway, since they have so many problems, they are in constant need of teachers, and they were perfectly amenable to the idea of hiring me. I do get paid, fortunately (albeit rather sporadically), and even though I make more teaching violin, it's good money, and good experience to boot. I'm technically a tutor for one particularly lost ESL student, but my job title never bothered anyone. I help the other students in the class, act as the TA, and occasionally, even teach the class (which brings the grand total of teachers in the class up to three). It's interesting, though, and I'm wondering now if I could teach ESL in order to pay off my student loans. Well, okay, I'm pretty positive I could teach ESL. I'd do a better job than the teachers they have at the school, anyway. Our current "professor," a professional farmer whose son is the one and only secretary and whose level of English is only slightly higher than the students', never follows the lesson plan, and never teaches anything. The class is called Speaking and Listening, so one would assume something of that nature would be going on, right? Not at our school! The teacher has gotten rid of all the tapes, and asks the students to write simple sentences for the entire time, sentences which he never checks or asks them to read. And this might not seem so bad, but they're literally, "He is singing" and "I'm going to the store." This is stuff the students already know, you see, and he never gives them vocab words, or helps with grammar (which he spells "gramer") or anything. The curriculum isn't that bad; it has a lot of stuff the students don't know and should learn, but he doesn't pay attention to it beyond looking at the pictures and trying to teach them what they are. They know what the pictures are, thanks, they're grown men and women, not babies! On Wednesday, he tried to explain what a bank was (spectacularly unsuccessfully, may I add). As if this wasn't bad enough, he's unbelievably rude to the poor people. Whenever they say anything (which is rare), he "corrects" it to something that is either incorrect or trivially different, picks on their accents, and mocks them in general. He's always poking fun at them, in a very rude way, and he's incredibly racist. There's not much I can do, because I'm younger than everyone in the room by a good ten years, and it's not my job to interfere. What I'd like to do is teach the class myself, but that doesn't help my student much, and my responsibility is to her. Ugh, it's just so frustrating though! Now, they're starting up a summer program for kids who want to learn English, and they want me to take care of it, so I start that on Monday, or tomorrow, I guess. They're okay with Kitty helping, since taking care of sixty twelve-year-olds is one of my biggest nightmares, and she doesn't mind (literally, though, there are sixty-something kids signed up). I don't know how I'm going to deal with this. I need to find a good outfit. Something that will garner respect, and make them want to do what I tell them. No little girl dresses for me! Unfortunately, little girl dresses (and skirts and ballet flats and whatnot) constitute 95% of my wardrobe. Maybe I should go for the sexy secretary look. I can wear a pencil skirt and a blouse and heels (I'll have to borrow the heels from Kitty). I can put my hair in a bun, too. Oh yeah, babe. This is sartorial Sparta.
Ugh, now Dad has settled himself down on the couch and is holding forth on how much he is able to sweat, and indeed, how much he sweated today. I suppose it's very interesting and educational (to some, at least). Perhaps he could publish his findings in a book.
Well, no more stalling, now. It's time for me to go get clean. This is it, Jasmine. Time to get up. Let's go. Yup. Up, up. Clay lies still, but blood's a rover, breath's a ware that will not keep. Up lad, when the journey's over, there'll be time enough to sleep! Incidentally, I quote that poem to myself every day when I'm trying to get out of bed. Anyway! Up you go! Let's show a leg there! Come on! Hop to it! Vamoose! Maybe I will be an inspirational speaker someday.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
America, America
Happy Independence Day! That's what Dad has taken to calling it. He is of the mind that "Fourth of July" is not specific enough and might cause confusion to those of us born outside privilege. He might be right. I don't know. I only wish he would stop lecturing everyone about it. We're going to go over to our grandma's house in about half an hour to eat dinner and watch fireworks. Unfortunately, we invited our cousin Darren over, which would be a good thing, only he has elected to bring his friends with him. I'm contemplating faking a disease to get out of this. Actually, that wouldn't be too hard, since my head has been aching viciously for three days now. I should probably take a Tylenol so that no one will suspect my identity as Lady with a Malady. It wouldn't do to appear weak, you see, as I am a warrior and I eat weakness for breakfast. But I never like to take pills, since I always feel like it will build up resistance against when I truly need succor, so I'm really reluctant. I only take stuff when my friend Tom comes to call and makes me feel like Boromir at the end of Fellowship of the Ring. But where was I? Ah, yes, Darren and Co. What in the world am I going to do? Maybe I should get over my irrational fear of all unknown individuals. That might be a good place to start. How will I ever make friends in college with this attitude? I will be the Kevin of the campus and no one will cheer for me at graduation! Perhaps by then I will have become normal and be a truly acceptable member of society. That would be good. I might even stop trying to quote poetry at people all the time. Oh dear, I hope I don't do that at dinner today. "Jayne," will say one thoughtless soul, "Will you please pass the salt?" "It's Jasmine, actually," I will reply with an awkward chuckle, "But what's in a name? A rose by any other name would–" "Shut up!" will come a unanimous response, and I will return to my burger as red as the rose I just espoused. Or what if the subject comes to art (somehow)? I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself from popping in, completely unwanted, and messing up a nice, low-key, discussion. "So," says one of the friends, "I was in Italy this summer, and I was looking at those lovely High Renaissance paintings, you know, like Bronzino and Pontormo, and I thought to myself, what a wonderful world!" "Excuse me," I pipe up, "Bronzino and Pontormo are actually Mannerist!" Everyone turns to give me a nasty glare. "Jasmine," says Dad in a disappointed manner, "Would you like to go walk outside and see if the fireworks have started yet?" "Yeah," chimes in the friend whom I've just slighted, "And can you stay out there until they start?" Sadly, with tears of awkwardness dripping down my now-greasy Kevin nose, I wobble outside and stay there the rest of the night until the police come along and arrest me for loitering with the intent to cosplay and I have to go to court, and against Gideon v. Wainwright, be my own lawyer because I'm so awkward that no one will want to represent me. And as I lie in the depths of my jail cell, pondering the inadequacies of the American justice system towards awkward individuals such as Kevin and myself, I will curse the day that Darren decided to be a clever and gregarious lad, for by bringing his friends to dinner, he will have brought me to my ruin.
No but really, I'm worried about this. I don't think I'll say anything awkward, which is a bonus, only this happy fact will occur because I'll be too shy to say anything at all. AND I HATE EATING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! When I go to parties or on dates or whatever, I'm always the last one done because I make sure to only take bites when no one's watching (also because I'm just really slow in general, but that's beside the point). And then I have to pretend I don't want the rest of my food, even though I do, because I don't want to be the only one eating. It's terrible. And now these boorish bores are going to take my joy away from me as they sit and simper and preside over everything like college age Stanley Kowalskis. Oh goodness me, I am like to die. I'm really diddley-darn hungry too. Phooey!
We made pies today, Mom, Kitty, and I did, which I found to be bothersome, since it enforces the old-fashioned patriarchal stereotypes still all too present in this overbearing society of ours, but I suppose it's not, really, since Kitty and Mom like to do it. I don't particularly, but I feel like it's my duty. Usually, they don't ask me to cook, because I really am atrocious at it, but I guess they were feeling the crunch today, and invited me into the inner sanctum. Did you know a tablespoon is not the same as an eating spoon? I didn't. I thought their measurements were one and the same. I had to make lemon zest, so I peeled a lemon, but apparently you're supposed to grate the lemon so the pieces are small enough. The next hour-and-a-half of my life was spent cutting pieces of lemon skin into tiny pieces. Man, I guess I learn something everyday, but I really don't see how I'm ever going to be able to take care of myself at this rate.
I found a setting of "Barter" by Sara Teasdale for choir. Yay! I really want to sing it, but I don't know whom I can sing it with. Choirs don't grow in my back pocket, you see. But it's still lovely to have it. I just thought I'd share.
Poor little Tangent, one of the guinea pigs (sister of Sine and Cosine) is having trouble with her teeth. She can only eat soft food, so we have to make special meals for her. Anyway, Dad thinks she depends on him for survival, and is clipping her teeth right now. He also likes to minister unto her with shea butter and iodine and sundry other "treatments" he buys off the internet. Poor little Tangent.
Okeydokey, it's already past the time when we were supposed to be there, and no one's made the slightest move to get ready. I suppose I should go spur them on. Bye now! Happy Fourth!
No but really, I'm worried about this. I don't think I'll say anything awkward, which is a bonus, only this happy fact will occur because I'll be too shy to say anything at all. AND I HATE EATING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! When I go to parties or on dates or whatever, I'm always the last one done because I make sure to only take bites when no one's watching (also because I'm just really slow in general, but that's beside the point). And then I have to pretend I don't want the rest of my food, even though I do, because I don't want to be the only one eating. It's terrible. And now these boorish bores are going to take my joy away from me as they sit and simper and preside over everything like college age Stanley Kowalskis. Oh goodness me, I am like to die. I'm really diddley-darn hungry too. Phooey!
We made pies today, Mom, Kitty, and I did, which I found to be bothersome, since it enforces the old-fashioned patriarchal stereotypes still all too present in this overbearing society of ours, but I suppose it's not, really, since Kitty and Mom like to do it. I don't particularly, but I feel like it's my duty. Usually, they don't ask me to cook, because I really am atrocious at it, but I guess they were feeling the crunch today, and invited me into the inner sanctum. Did you know a tablespoon is not the same as an eating spoon? I didn't. I thought their measurements were one and the same. I had to make lemon zest, so I peeled a lemon, but apparently you're supposed to grate the lemon so the pieces are small enough. The next hour-and-a-half of my life was spent cutting pieces of lemon skin into tiny pieces. Man, I guess I learn something everyday, but I really don't see how I'm ever going to be able to take care of myself at this rate.
I found a setting of "Barter" by Sara Teasdale for choir. Yay! I really want to sing it, but I don't know whom I can sing it with. Choirs don't grow in my back pocket, you see. But it's still lovely to have it. I just thought I'd share.
Poor little Tangent, one of the guinea pigs (sister of Sine and Cosine) is having trouble with her teeth. She can only eat soft food, so we have to make special meals for her. Anyway, Dad thinks she depends on him for survival, and is clipping her teeth right now. He also likes to minister unto her with shea butter and iodine and sundry other "treatments" he buys off the internet. Poor little Tangent.
Okeydokey, it's already past the time when we were supposed to be there, and no one's made the slightest move to get ready. I suppose I should go spur them on. Bye now! Happy Fourth!
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