Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Tis 2013!

I am having a dilemma (or am I impaled upon the horns of one?). I don't know if I should apply for the honors program at University of Kentucky or not! If I do, naturally, the benefit would be that I would be in the honors program and would be able to live the life I know, but you see, applying entails writing two completely ridiculous essays and submitting my PSAT scores. Da eff, man! Ain't nobody can remember what they got on the PSAT! All I remember is that I was in the 96th percentile, and I can't very well just put that. So I emailed the college board to see if they would send me my scores, and after dithering around for a week, they finally told me that they would send me my reports in a minimum of five days. I guess that does give me more time to work on those pernicious essays, but it's also completely irritating, because at this point, I just want to get all these applications done. Kentucky is my last one (unless I apply to some more religious schools), and if I get it done, then I can sit around and read books about hobbits and capitalists and all those sorts of people and eat chocolate and grow fat and happy and not have to do a blessed thing. I could even finish those two chapter outlines from gov that I keep wanting to do but never have the time for! It would be a pleasure. I quite like gov. What if I majored in political science? No, I can't. That's an even lamer major than Romanesque European Literature (of which there wasn't much). People would judge me and all. At least linguistics sounds a little but pedantic.

You know, I feel that my entire family is transfixed by the computer. They treat it as some sort of sacred object that they need to be in contact with at least once a day or disaster will reign over all the world. I don't even know. It's impossibly hard for me to get on here, except for very late at night, unless I'm doing something productive. And even then, it ain't too easy. The tantrums Sungmin throws when he is wrenched away from his latest battle-shooter MPG are really quite alarming. Now, I don't mean to tout myself as a defender of all virtue and honor and luddite-try, but I really am not as obsessed by the machine as everyone else. I mean, I can find other things to do. They can't. This is why it took Zac six months to finish Atlas Shrugged- he was on the computer most of the time. By the way, I'm almost done. I have about 100 pages left. I love it so! Anyway, my point stands! We're all entering an age of technology-induced vapidity and there is naught we can do about it! Except get off the computer that is. And then maybe give it to me. I'm nothing but a capitalist here, just trying to make my living. Don't be hating. Anyway, where was I going with all of this? Ah, right. So, every time I'm on the computer, my direct vicinity automatically becomes the most populated region of the house. Sungmin is currently sitting on the floor beside me looking at a domino, when before (when I wasn't on here) he was reading a book (or doing something equally edifying). Mom and Dad like to come over here and stand right over me, either trying to se what it is I'm doing, or just chilling like Junius Bassus on a good day. Sometimes Mom will come over, stand beside me, and read an entire novel there. It's extremely annoying. Do I not have a right to privacy, like other men? Does the incorporation doctrine, as evidenced in the decisions of Roe v. Wade and Mapp v. Ohio and other such cases not apply to me? No, sir! I think they do! I am as worthy a citizen as anyone else, and I demand the same rights as they! I will lead a revolution if I have to. Live free or die! (Sadly, "Live free or die" is the catchphrase of one Dr. Katherine Albrecht, a "revolutionary" of whom Dad is inordinately fond, so I can't actually use it with any degree of impunity. I shall have to think of something equally inspirational.)

At this moment, there are random people in the house. They are buying violins. I feel like we could run a very lucrative business here, if we actually took the trouble to advertise. People are always coming by to buy violins, or to size them, or to have them tuned, and those aren't even our students. We run a veritable luthier shop here, and no one's even taking advantage of it, cuz we do it all for free. It's not like we know our "customers" either! They're random people who hear about us from their friends and come prancing in every hour of the day or night, tracking dirt all over our floor (because they are white and don't take off their shoes) and acting like they are entitled to every aspect of our house. So in my humble opinion (which is really not that humble, being quite self-serving), we should charge by the minute and grow wealthy. We could be captains of industry without half trying.

We went to Little Tokyo for New Years. It was truly lovely, even though Francisco didn't end up going with me (lol I just realized he shares a name with Francisco D'Anconia, how truly hilarious). I put on makeup for nothing. Grumble. I guess it wasn't for nothing, though, because I got hit on a lot, and that's always nice. Sets a precedent for the new year, you know. I bought a huge number of pens and pencils there, as well as quite much food. I am a thriftless glutton, and there is no doubt about it. I must reform my ways and become as ascetic as the philosopher who lived in a barrel for forty years. I think that's a pretty ascetic thing to do, no? I mean, it couldn't have been very commodious in there. I think, in the spirit of new years (should that be capitalized? And does it have an apostrophe? UGH WHY AM I A LINGUISTICS MAJOR), I should make some resolutions. So, here we go. I resolve to 1) Be the Dagny Taggart of my generation 2) Do the best I can at everything I do 3) Get into a good college and 4) Be as hot as the booty of a fine-ass man. So there we have it. I am so noble it brings tears to my noble eyes. Noble tears that is to say. Cuz I be livin dat thug lyfe doe. Maybe I can finally become the Durko Manlyman the world has never known.

No comments: