Gah.
I have been dumped.
No, really.
In six short words... my life was changed forever....
"Let's just be friends for now."
I will always remember this day.
It has been one of the worst days of my life.
Unhelped by the fact that Jason has apparently found a girlfriend. Why the eff am I so jealous? I don't like him, truly I don't. And I know that's what I have said about all my crushes, but in this case, it's actually true. He's butt-ugly for one thing. And... well, I don't know. It is nice to have a guy as my talking buddy for once. Like, we can both sit there and make sex jokes all the time. It warms my heart. And though he is a bit of a perv, it's hilarious. I also like the fact that he's a commited Christian and proud of it, yet still likes dirty talk and Metallica. (The fact that he likes Metallica, though? Bourgeiose.) Anyhow....
I can't see why JK broke up with me! He was acting perfectly normal yesterday when we were hanging out and walking all over town together. And he said before that he'd "never break up with me". Truly. I quote. And now! ARGH! I hope that SOMEONE kicks his butt! Halfway across the globe! ><
Now, though, I can pursue Mark...
Nooooo.... don't think of Mark.... GONNA CRY!
Speaking of which, when I came home from my (crappy) violin lesson, I changed into black all over, applied bright red lipstick, went into an almost pitch black room, and started cutting. Then, when I came out, I lay down on the sofa, hugging a giant teddy bear, and started bawling my eyes out. That's how terrible life is.
Then, I lifted 40 bucks from my dad and went shopping by myself. I got cake, cupcakes, ice cream, whipped cream, a sandwich, and boba. So it was a little expensive. But who cares? Let's remember my heart is broken now! Oh yeah, I get to stay home from CKC-Muzak cause I have my psychologists appointment later tonight, and I have to get my homework done. Actually, I have kind of a lot. But who cares?
Oh yeah! Allie put most of the videos we took at lunch on Youtube. I look fine in one, and HORRIBLE in the other ones. She also made one entitled "Jasmine's Scream" which is me screaming when someone popped a lunchbag (which they do every day, just to scare me) Any how...
I should go do homework. I don't want to, though.
But first, let me think of all the FML's I can.
We're playing football in P.E. FML
One of my friends (sort of friend) had some sort of nervous breakdown or something and I don't know what happened or what I can do for her. FML
My violin teacher wants to fire me but is too polite to do so. FML
My boyfriend dumped me for no reason. FML
Mark hates me. FML
Crystal can't go to homecoming with me. FML
I can't go to homecoming with me. FML
I look awful on camera. FML
I'm failing biology, and I have a C+ in Geometry. FML
Ok, I think that's it. Bye! Love you!
FML
xoxoxo~♥~
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
it's a love story
Health is now un-fun because my cruel teacher changed the seating chart so I'm not sitting next to Billy, Nick, Jason, or Ella anymore! To be fair, I'm also not sitting in front of the el disgusto snorting, lip-smacking, mouthy, constantly-cold-having senior anymore either, but still! That pales in comparison to my misery now! Ostensibly, she changed us because she "wanted a change", but I know the truth- it's actually a government experiment conducted by The Fed to see how miserable kids can be and still be considered Healthy. Or maybe it's because we were "disturbing the class". I honestly don't see how. We only played Truth Or Dare like five times. But heark! (is that how you spell it?) I have found, lo and behold, that if I sit up straight and look out the window, I can see
SMOKIN HOT SEXY GUYS WITH NO SHIRTS ON!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
KYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh. Butternuts. That was supposed to be hot pink. Oh well. Maybe someday, my love...
Anyhow, yaaaaaaaahhhhh bananaaaaaaaaaa! (guess WHO'S banana!?!?) (Ok, sorry, that was immature and childish. It is in poor taste and extremely unladylike to make dick jokes. I am sorry. But it is also funny. So there.)
What was I sayin'? Oh yeah! Smokin hot sexy guys with no shirts on! KYAH! They were absolutely gorgelicious! I almost passed out from the yummy factor right there in Health! Fwaaaaaaahhh.....
What elsssse happened today, my fair feathered friends? Welll.... let's see, I finally learned JK's childhood friend's name! (The one he is SO gonna hook up with after we break up, or at least he better) I felt sooooo bad cause we were introduced, and then she remembered my name, and I couldn't remember hers! I felt like a tonna CRUD! So I asked JK. Easy peasy! And her name, btw, is Taylor. Like Taylor Swift. Therefore furthering my conviction that they MUST get together after I, le wicked girlfriend, have Moved On To Other Things. Oh, speaking of which! I saw this GORGEOUSO guy today! He was absolutely TO DRINK BOBA for! So naturally, I gave him my best Alluring Sexcat Smile, garunteed to melt the hearts of anyone, and flipped my lovely shiny hair. But, for some reason, he didn't respond. I wonder why? Was it that I wasn't his type? Or that he was probably a sophomore and didn't take flirts from insignificant little freshman? Or that I happened to be holding hands with JK? Or maybe he just was having a bad day. That could be it. I'm sure it really wasn't me.
Nyu! I had a brainwave while I was walking to geometry. I thought I saw either Jannelle or TiTi walking around, but I didn't know which one it was. So, I decided that I would just ask em! I felt like a genius en le extremente! La, child! Thou hasest Le Brainne Bigge! (Guess what ELSE is big??) So tomorrow, that I shall do.
In English, I started a new manga. It's a wonderful storyline, really. It centers around an emo and depressed girl who's anorexic, cuts, hates herself, uses drugs, and dies at the end. It's gonna be sooooo great! I totally can't wait! Does that say something about me? Well, no, honey, it doesn't! Random people seem to think that just because I happen to cut my wrists and dislike eating that I have depression. I wonder why? And honestly? Being depressed is soooo bourgeoise. I'd rather be, like, ya know, double personalitied or something. Something more interesting anyhow.
Oh yeah! Yuka, one of our guinea pigs had babies! They're so CUTE! And one of them looks EXACTLY like Panda, my piggy who died recently! I can't belieeeeeeve it! KYAH! I wanna go play with them now, and I also have to study, and I really need a nap, a shower, and a pedicure, so I g2g.
VOICE LESSON TODAYYYYYYYYYY!
xoxoxo~♥~
SMOKIN HOT SEXY GUYS WITH NO SHIRTS ON!!!! ♥ ♥ ♥
KYAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh. Butternuts. That was supposed to be hot pink. Oh well. Maybe someday, my love...
Anyhow, yaaaaaaaahhhhh bananaaaaaaaaaa! (guess WHO'S banana!?!?) (Ok, sorry, that was immature and childish. It is in poor taste and extremely unladylike to make dick jokes. I am sorry. But it is also funny. So there.)
What was I sayin'? Oh yeah! Smokin hot sexy guys with no shirts on! KYAH! They were absolutely gorgelicious! I almost passed out from the yummy factor right there in Health! Fwaaaaaaahhh.....
What elsssse happened today, my fair feathered friends? Welll.... let's see, I finally learned JK's childhood friend's name! (The one he is SO gonna hook up with after we break up, or at least he better) I felt sooooo bad cause we were introduced, and then she remembered my name, and I couldn't remember hers! I felt like a tonna CRUD! So I asked JK. Easy peasy! And her name, btw, is Taylor. Like Taylor Swift. Therefore furthering my conviction that they MUST get together after I, le wicked girlfriend, have Moved On To Other Things. Oh, speaking of which! I saw this GORGEOUSO guy today! He was absolutely TO DRINK BOBA for! So naturally, I gave him my best Alluring Sexcat Smile, garunteed to melt the hearts of anyone, and flipped my lovely shiny hair. But, for some reason, he didn't respond. I wonder why? Was it that I wasn't his type? Or that he was probably a sophomore and didn't take flirts from insignificant little freshman? Or that I happened to be holding hands with JK? Or maybe he just was having a bad day. That could be it. I'm sure it really wasn't me.
Nyu! I had a brainwave while I was walking to geometry. I thought I saw either Jannelle or TiTi walking around, but I didn't know which one it was. So, I decided that I would just ask em! I felt like a genius en le extremente! La, child! Thou hasest Le Brainne Bigge! (Guess what ELSE is big??) So tomorrow, that I shall do.
In English, I started a new manga. It's a wonderful storyline, really. It centers around an emo and depressed girl who's anorexic, cuts, hates herself, uses drugs, and dies at the end. It's gonna be sooooo great! I totally can't wait! Does that say something about me? Well, no, honey, it doesn't! Random people seem to think that just because I happen to cut my wrists and dislike eating that I have depression. I wonder why? And honestly? Being depressed is soooo bourgeoise. I'd rather be, like, ya know, double personalitied or something. Something more interesting anyhow.
Oh yeah! Yuka, one of our guinea pigs had babies! They're so CUTE! And one of them looks EXACTLY like Panda, my piggy who died recently! I can't belieeeeeeve it! KYAH! I wanna go play with them now, and I also have to study, and I really need a nap, a shower, and a pedicure, so I g2g.
VOICE LESSON TODAYYYYYYYYYY!
xoxoxo~♥~
Saturday, September 26, 2009
i just woke up. poor me. =.=
Darling, I feel has been too long since we last spoke! Twas been yeas and years! Or at least it doth seem like that to mine heart.
Anyway.
La la la.
I feel the pressure. Tis getting closer now.
Hmm... the problem with pressure is that it is sabbath. This may not seem like a problem, but it actually is. It is a conundrum of the most pressing kind. It is this: If it is sabbath, I do not have to do homework. But if it is sabbath, I also do not get to engage in any pursuits that are lovely to me. Such as singing. And drinking boba. And.... walking around tagging the neighborhood with my Super Special Secret Tag. Although it being sabbath does not usually restrain me from the last one.
Le bf seemed rather impressed at my mucho wonderfulissiomo tagging skills. I think this was because I didn't tell him that my tag stands for FuckUEffingReTardedpEnis. Which, if you put spaces in, reads, Fuck U Effing ReTarded pEnis. Or FUERTE. Whichever suits your fancy.
Wherever! Whenever! We're meant to be together, I'll be there and you'll be near! And that's the deal my dear!
Man.
I miss the summer.
I miss the summer.... a world of fragile things... Look for me at the boba teahouse, hiding in a, uh, hollow... uh... tree... or something.... The last part is un poco hard to orchestrate.
Anyways...... I shall now expound upon the moral depravity of myself.
I am obviously the slut in my group of friends. I also am known as "the blond Asian", by Mark, and by everyone else. Tis not my fault. Tis the fault of the architecture. IF THEY DIDN"T PUT THE FRICKIN POLES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SIDEWALK I WOULDN"T CRASH INTO THEM PRACTICALLY EVERYDAY! AND I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU PEOPLE WHO MADE THE STAIRS TO THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT SO DURNED STEEP! YEAH, YOU! I'M TALKIN TO YA! FIX IT NOW OR I'LL SUE YA!! OOH! WHAT NOW!
Anyway. After having given my keyboard a cough drop from all that yelling, may we get back to the issue at hand? It is not my fault that I have been so kindly labeled a slut. It is the fault of Mark. He is indeed a heartbreaker.
Heartbreaker! Love taker! Dream maker! Dontcha mess around wit meeeee!
Dude, that was so EASY! Kitty walked over, messily and disgustingly chewing something. "Please leave," said I. So, with no further ado, and no words, she turned around and left. I was mucho relieved. And surprised. Does that often happen in yo world? Not once in a blue balls! I mean blue moon! Sorry, Freudian slip. *Eheh.*
Wait, does that imply that I myself have blue balls? I hope it does not. For I am not a man. And if I were a man, I would be gay. And that would be shameful to my dad and to half the world at large. Because we seem to have a sad lack of acceptance in this world. (Or at least half of it)
Oh! Did I tell you I'm going to have a psychology appointment next Wendsday? (Maybe I should discuss with said psychologist how it seems to be outside my parade of talents to be able to spell Wednesday.) (Oh, there we go. Woo. Karma.) Anyhow, what was I sayin? Oh yeah. Gotta psychology appointment. I wonder if I'll show up in the book she's writing! Got no choice. Must be interesting enough to be able to show up in it. Muwahaha. At this sphere, I am queen.
Hey, it's sunset! I'm gonna go bug my mom for money. So I can get a boba. (And I don't wanna use my own money.)
Bye!
xoxoxo~♥~
Anyway.
La la la.
I feel the pressure. Tis getting closer now.
Hmm... the problem with pressure is that it is sabbath. This may not seem like a problem, but it actually is. It is a conundrum of the most pressing kind. It is this: If it is sabbath, I do not have to do homework. But if it is sabbath, I also do not get to engage in any pursuits that are lovely to me. Such as singing. And drinking boba. And.... walking around tagging the neighborhood with my Super Special Secret Tag. Although it being sabbath does not usually restrain me from the last one.
Le bf seemed rather impressed at my mucho wonderfulissiomo tagging skills. I think this was because I didn't tell him that my tag stands for FuckUEffingReTardedpEnis. Which, if you put spaces in, reads, Fuck U Effing ReTarded pEnis. Or FUERTE. Whichever suits your fancy.
Wherever! Whenever! We're meant to be together, I'll be there and you'll be near! And that's the deal my dear!
Man.
I miss the summer.
I miss the summer.... a world of fragile things... Look for me at the boba teahouse, hiding in a, uh, hollow... uh... tree... or something.... The last part is un poco hard to orchestrate.
Anyways...... I shall now expound upon the moral depravity of myself.
I am obviously the slut in my group of friends. I also am known as "the blond Asian", by Mark, and by everyone else. Tis not my fault. Tis the fault of the architecture. IF THEY DIDN"T PUT THE FRICKIN POLES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SIDEWALK I WOULDN"T CRASH INTO THEM PRACTICALLY EVERYDAY! AND I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU PEOPLE WHO MADE THE STAIRS TO THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT SO DURNED STEEP! YEAH, YOU! I'M TALKIN TO YA! FIX IT NOW OR I'LL SUE YA!! OOH! WHAT NOW!
Anyway. After having given my keyboard a cough drop from all that yelling, may we get back to the issue at hand? It is not my fault that I have been so kindly labeled a slut. It is the fault of Mark. He is indeed a heartbreaker.
Heartbreaker! Love taker! Dream maker! Dontcha mess around wit meeeee!
Dude, that was so EASY! Kitty walked over, messily and disgustingly chewing something. "Please leave," said I. So, with no further ado, and no words, she turned around and left. I was mucho relieved. And surprised. Does that often happen in yo world? Not once in a blue balls! I mean blue moon! Sorry, Freudian slip. *Eheh.*
Wait, does that imply that I myself have blue balls? I hope it does not. For I am not a man. And if I were a man, I would be gay. And that would be shameful to my dad and to half the world at large. Because we seem to have a sad lack of acceptance in this world. (Or at least half of it)
Oh! Did I tell you I'm going to have a psychology appointment next Wendsday? (Maybe I should discuss with said psychologist how it seems to be outside my parade of talents to be able to spell Wednesday.) (Oh, there we go. Woo. Karma.) Anyhow, what was I sayin? Oh yeah. Gotta psychology appointment. I wonder if I'll show up in the book she's writing! Got no choice. Must be interesting enough to be able to show up in it. Muwahaha. At this sphere, I am queen.
Hey, it's sunset! I'm gonna go bug my mom for money. So I can get a boba. (And I don't wanna use my own money.)
Bye!
xoxoxo~♥~
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
of mice, men, and boyfriends
Gosh, it's been sooooo long since I updated! I've wanted to, of course, but I'm always super busy! And now I sound like a moron. Not only a mororn, but a blond moron. Which is probably worse.
Anyhow, I left off at.... let's see, I had just started school. Or I was about to. Whatever. I started it, and I've been going for a month, and it's AWESOMEEEEEEE! I know, I really set myself up for horrible failiure, disappointment, anger, emoliciousness, and possible dismemberment, but it's really not all that bad. Except for biology. Which is the plague upon humankind. But that's another story for another day....
Let us instead dish the more juicy details, such as....
I STARTED SINGING LESSONSSSSSSSSSS! And now I g2g. Actually....
Let's see, a whole bunch of people are spreading nasty rumors about me? I don't care though. I really don't. Call me weird, but I'm happy just to be talked about. It could be the low self-esteem my health teacher talks about 24/7, or maybe it's just that I'm actually a fame-whore at heart. One never knows. But let us begin to review the wonderful rumors that have been centered around our lovely heroine.
I am apparently...
1. a slut
2. a bitch
3. a prep
4. a lesbian
5. a mantrap (how these two work in relationship to each other, I'm not entirely sure, but they must have some kind of correllation...)
6. a cow
7. a pint-sized flirty little cow
8. a little skank
(why do they have to keep picking on my SIZE for goodness sakes!??)
9. a ho
annnnd, 10, a whore.
Isn't that lovely? Isn't that uplifting? Doesn't it make you want to just go over to the lovely people and give them a big hearty hug?
And fyi, I'm not gay. I have a boyfriend! And I'm the biggest flirt in the entire class! SHEESH!
Oh, that's right! I forgot to tell you didn't I.... (sheesh now I'm talking like you're a person...) I HAVE A BOYFRIENDDDDDDDD!!! <3 <3 <3 (I'm at the library so html doesn't work) Yup, me! I gotta boyfriend.... (sung to the tune of I Gotta Feeling) (Actually, that would be quite a dirty song! My word!) Ok, I know I'm acting like a geek, but I honestly can't believe it. I caaaaan't belieeeeeve itttttttt..... Oooh, I can't believe it! Ooh he's all on me... Ooh ooh I think he wants me.... la la la.... Tee hee hee! Look who has the last laugh NOW, Mark, my dear! I have da man, and you're still single! Although, I guess in his case, it would be the girl. For he seems to be straight. Or at least I think he is. He has enough girls fawning over him, at least.
Ok, I have a terrible confession. I might have a boyfriend, but I'm still in love with Mark, and neither of these two facts do anything to stop me from flirting with any male specimen that comes across my path. I am indeed "terrible" as Melody says. But can I help it???!!!!! I am just a playa in the game of life! I am just a hustler in the cattle ranch of love! I am just a.... um.... well, something! And ya betta believe it! HOWCHAAAAAAA!
Anyhow, back to my bf. It's a bit of a dilemma, because he's the one guy my mom told me explicitly NOT to date. Cause, see, there's the little matter of his junior gang? Or else, if not that, the fact that schizophrenia runs in his family? Orrrrrr that he used to be homeless? All of these little issues may not seem very large to you, but some moms have a way of exaggerating things that otherwise would not be a problem. Besides, I like him. So there.
Oh yeah! He's JK from CKC-Muzak! Tee hee. I always thought he was cute. I guess it is sort of weird to be dating a student, but come on, he wasn't my student. And... well.... it just sort of happened.... our friends helped very much to get us together. Now I have to go do homework, or rather fix it, because apparently I made another dumbass error. And also my session will end in ten minutes. Because I'm under eighteen and I can't use the real computers with unlimited time limits and grrrrrrrrrrrrr this is so f'n annoying! Oh well. I shall talk to you later. It has been too long! *airkiss*
xoxoxo~<3~
Anyhow, I left off at.... let's see, I had just started school. Or I was about to. Whatever. I started it, and I've been going for a month, and it's AWESOMEEEEEEE! I know, I really set myself up for horrible failiure, disappointment, anger, emoliciousness, and possible dismemberment, but it's really not all that bad. Except for biology. Which is the plague upon humankind. But that's another story for another day....
Let us instead dish the more juicy details, such as....
I STARTED SINGING LESSONSSSSSSSSSS! And now I g2g. Actually....
Let's see, a whole bunch of people are spreading nasty rumors about me? I don't care though. I really don't. Call me weird, but I'm happy just to be talked about. It could be the low self-esteem my health teacher talks about 24/7, or maybe it's just that I'm actually a fame-whore at heart. One never knows. But let us begin to review the wonderful rumors that have been centered around our lovely heroine.
I am apparently...
1. a slut
2. a bitch
3. a prep
4. a lesbian
5. a mantrap (how these two work in relationship to each other, I'm not entirely sure, but they must have some kind of correllation...)
6. a cow
7. a pint-sized flirty little cow
8. a little skank
(why do they have to keep picking on my SIZE for goodness sakes!??)
9. a ho
annnnd, 10, a whore.
Isn't that lovely? Isn't that uplifting? Doesn't it make you want to just go over to the lovely people and give them a big hearty hug?
And fyi, I'm not gay. I have a boyfriend! And I'm the biggest flirt in the entire class! SHEESH!
Oh, that's right! I forgot to tell you didn't I.... (sheesh now I'm talking like you're a person...) I HAVE A BOYFRIENDDDDDDDD!!! <3 <3 <3 (I'm at the library so html doesn't work) Yup, me! I gotta boyfriend.... (sung to the tune of I Gotta Feeling) (Actually, that would be quite a dirty song! My word!) Ok, I know I'm acting like a geek, but I honestly can't believe it. I caaaaan't belieeeeeve itttttttt..... Oooh, I can't believe it! Ooh he's all on me... Ooh ooh I think he wants me.... la la la.... Tee hee hee! Look who has the last laugh NOW, Mark, my dear! I have da man, and you're still single! Although, I guess in his case, it would be the girl. For he seems to be straight. Or at least I think he is. He has enough girls fawning over him, at least.
Ok, I have a terrible confession. I might have a boyfriend, but I'm still in love with Mark, and neither of these two facts do anything to stop me from flirting with any male specimen that comes across my path. I am indeed "terrible" as Melody says. But can I help it???!!!!! I am just a playa in the game of life! I am just a hustler in the cattle ranch of love! I am just a.... um.... well, something! And ya betta believe it! HOWCHAAAAAAA!
Anyhow, back to my bf. It's a bit of a dilemma, because he's the one guy my mom told me explicitly NOT to date. Cause, see, there's the little matter of his junior gang? Or else, if not that, the fact that schizophrenia runs in his family? Orrrrrr that he used to be homeless? All of these little issues may not seem very large to you, but some moms have a way of exaggerating things that otherwise would not be a problem. Besides, I like him. So there.
Oh yeah! He's JK from CKC-Muzak! Tee hee. I always thought he was cute. I guess it is sort of weird to be dating a student, but come on, he wasn't my student. And... well.... it just sort of happened.... our friends helped very much to get us together. Now I have to go do homework, or rather fix it, because apparently I made another dumbass error. And also my session will end in ten minutes. Because I'm under eighteen and I can't use the real computers with unlimited time limits and grrrrrrrrrrrrr this is so f'n annoying! Oh well. I shall talk to you later. It has been too long! *airkiss*
xoxoxo~<3~
Sunday, September 6, 2009
GASP!
Purple CRUDDDDDDDD! I'm at the TV studioooooo! On NBC LIVEEEEEEEEE! On Sunday LA! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
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