I was watching Les Mis, and let me tell you, it made me les miserable. IT'S SO SAD. Like seriously, don't you think some of the deaths were a little gratuitous? Like Eponine's? And Enjolras's? AND FLIPPING GAVROCHE OH MY GOODNESS. Victor Hugo was an evil, evil man. Yes, I appreciate the plot, and no, the romanticism is not lost on me (this is me you're talking to), but why why why couldn't you just let them live? Kill off some of the other characters, that's okay, but leave my babies to live their lives in peace! Like, okay, Enjolras is saddened but not embittered by the loss if his friends, and goes on to hold a place in government to help maintain the country he loves, and Eponine decides that she likes being free of stupid Marius and lives a wonderful and happy life, almost exactly like Simone de Beauvoir's, and Gavroche grows up to be a passionate young college student like the rest of them, and everyone stays friends, and they all make enough money to buy many loaves of bread for Jean Valjean, who becomes mayor again and develops a budding frenemy-ship with Javert, who takes a philosophy class from Eponine and becomes less prescriptive in his views. And I guess Cosette and Marius can get married or whatever, but you know to be perfectly honest, I don't really care about either of them. They're just not dynamic, in fact they're kind of downright Shakespearean! Or like Lucie Manette and Charles Darnay from A Tale of Two Cities. Just kind of boring, even if they do have some of the loveliest duets. Oh man. Okay, that's what happened. I'm calling it; it's canon now. Victor Hugo contacted me from beyond the grave and said that if he had been less obsessed with the mortality of man, he would have used his considerable literary genius to create a meaningful work that was still happy (or at least, you know, not soul-crushingly sad). Oh my goodness, do I cry. I'm not saying it's not fairly cathartic and all, but it's just too much for my poor little heart to handle. Girl, I'm telling you, Enjolras replies "French Revolution" when asked the ubiquitous "who's there," and he loves France so much, and he's so attractive, and ugggh how could anyone kill him off? I'm in denial, and nothing will change my mind. 

This has nothing to do with anything (well, it really does; that was a little too much of a contradictory idiom for me), but I think I'm dying. At a quicker rate than I should be, I mean. You see, I forgot my medication at home last weekend, and I thought it would be okay to not take it for a few days, but now I'm extremely dizzy all the time, and my tummy hurts, and I feel like I have a fever. Walking around is difficult, because I feel like I'm about to pass out, and as for bending over and straightening up quickly, forget it. Frankly, I'm surprised that I managed to make it to my classes and back today. Tomorrow, I have to lead the discussion with my group in honors, so not only do I have to go to class, I have to participate actively, and I have to look cute while doing it. Actually, that last part is motivation, but it does add a level of worry at the same time, because what if I look disgusting and Cute Arthur hates me forever because of my Gollum-like physiognomy? What if I mess up my eyeliner and everyone spends the entire class period making bad jokes about wings? What if my hair gets so floofy that I hit someone in the face and permanently injure them? There are many factors about which I can be concerened here. Should I skip semantics tomorrow? It's true that out of all my (extremely wonderful) classes, that's the one I least want to skip, but maybe I should conserve my energy. No, but I shouldn't do that, since we have homework due. And I might not go to discussion on Friday, so I best be getting into gear here. I can do this! I'll get up at a reasonable hour tomorrow and eat breakfast (not just coffee!) and study a little, and take it easy. It will be A-okay. And if not, and I really do pass out, I can take comfort in the fact that maybe Cute Sean will be gallant and drive me to the hospital and we can have a Bonding Moment and all will go from there. That's sort of comforting, although tbh, I'd rather finish learning about semantics. But maybe I can have both. What if life but a dream anyway?

(I feel like I'm quoting something, but what is it?)

My skin is super dry right now. I just thought you should know.

Today, Michael gave me another poem. It's spectacularly bad too. What AM I going to do with that boy? Also, I feel like Sadie is jealous of this progression in our (purely platonic) relationship, and I'll be chuffed if I know why. Is there something appealing about having people continually hitting on you? Well, okay, maybe in the abstract. But not in actuality! This state and the slight advantage that it brings resides completely in the theoretical, and I feel like she should know that, since she is definitely much more social than I am (and a year older as well). But who knows. 

I should probably be getting off to sleep now, since tomorrow is coming bright and early. The only problem is that I don't want to, and as we all know, the will is the battle (that sounded really good, didn't it? I made it up myself, thank you everyone). Then again, I don't really want to do anything, so I suppose I can try to convince myself that this is just as good as anything else. Maybe it will work. All I know is that I must try. 

Goodnight!