The worst of times.

Today was the very worst day of my life. Or close enough, anyway. We can apply the squeeze theorem, being that it was in the neighborhood of c (C being crap). What am I even talking about? Anyway. Here is my list of reasons why my life is terrible. 1. I had about three hours of sleep (though this is far from being unusual for me). 2. I think I failed my calculus test, and it wasn't even my fault. There was stuff on there she'd never taught, and there were so many problems that I didn't finish. It made me so mad that I wanted to punch someone's lights out with a lightsaber (and I don't even know how lightsabers work). (Like, are they lasers? Or beams of light? Perhaps illuminated swords? And why are people so into them anyway?) Oh, yes. So. 3. I think I did my quarter report on Andokides painter wrong for Art History, and I may get a zero now. And I had a 91 in the class. 4. I had my unit 3 test for gov today, and I didn't study at all. I sort of looked at the chapter on interests groups last night, though. So I probably failed that. 5. I feel so incredibly shitty. My dear friend Tom is visiting, and with him have come all the symptoms of a premature death. I almost passed out in gov. Very embarrassing. 6. I stepped in peanut butter that some wonderful environmentalist had left lying about on the sidewalk, and it got all over my shoe. Speaking of which! 7. Someone's done something with all my shoes! I can only find two pairs! It makes outfit coordination really hard. 8. I had to talk to ASS for a REALLY long time. The ass. 9. I tried to study physics at lunch, and people kept talking to me. What cheek! 10. I tried to get letters of recommendation, but I couldn't because I was too late. (I did get two, though.) 11. I wanted to study in choir, but we sang the entire time, so I couldn't. 12. I think I failed my physics test. Just cause. 13. I bought my homecoming ticket, and Sonia's parents may not be able to take us all (Ivy, Annabelle, Lisa, Sonia, me, and Allie). And it was 60 dollars. 14. I had to go to a college presentation at school for two hours, and they said absolutely nothing I didn't know, and it made me feel completely inadequate about everything and like I will never find a college in a million years. And, the crowning indignity to it all... 15. I look like complete shit today! So. You see. This is why my anger doth not abate. Why is it illegal to go around mugging people? I should very much like for other people besides me to know the hardship I have gone through. Maybe I will obtain a soapbox, set myself up on the corner of Barton and University, and tell them all about it. That sounds like a plan. SEXY SHIT. I FEEL SO HORRIBLE.

My grand dream

Eff everything. I have to write my college essays, and I have no idea what to write them on. I started one on how I have a "blending" voice and how that helps me relate to the world around me because I can empathize with people and all that, but I don't think it's turning out well. It's terribly self-congratulatory. Although isn't that the point of college essays? I don't know... Oh, right! I've finally found my major! I want to major in linguistics. Holy crap, that sounds stupid. It's so embarrassing too, since Zac is a math major (double major, actually, math and music), and Kitty intends to be a neuroscientist, and Sungmin has announced his ambition to be a scientist. Mom is a toxicologist who is good at everything, and Dad is a geneticist with a highfalutin pHD. Even my grandmother used to be a nurse, and my grandfather was a chemist (on my mom's side; on my dad's side, I think they were potato farmers or something). And then there's me... Herp derp, I like words. Damn, bitch. I must be a changeling or something. The worst part is, I actually LIKE science. I do. I'm just not really good at it. The only thing I'm good at it is English, which is incredibly useless. Do we have a Periodic Table of the Elements of Style? Are we composed of parts of speech? I don't think so! The only thing worse would be if I were into history or something. Oh wait... Damn. Well, nothing I can do about it now. It's part of my grand plan for life. Have I intimated my grand plan here? No, I haven't. That wasn't even a rhetorical question. That was just an intro. So, I'm going to get a degree in linguistics (at USC or UCLA if possible, but most likely not), then I'm going to put myself through law school. I might have to become a stripper to do it, but that's ok, because I'll presumably still be hot. After I pass the bar exam, I'm going to become an immigration lawyer and get rid of that horrendous law in Arizona. After that, I'll become a frickin Clarence Darrow and become really rich and famous and maybe become a Supreme Court justice when I've become too old to live. All throughout this, I'm going to eschew traditionality (which is apparently not a word). I will never marry, and I will never have children. I guess I might date and stuff, cuz it'll be really boring if I don't get to ever see men, but I will never own a suburbian house with a picket fence and 2.5 children and an SUV in the driveway. Nope. I'm going to have a little apartment and the cheapest of Honda Civics until I make enough money to buy a house. Then I'll buy a little cheapo house and never spend more than I possibly have to (this is where the dating might come in handy). I will live frugally all my life and become really really rich and not get robbed because everyone will think I'm destitute, and then when I'm a Supreme Court justice (or whatever it is I decide to do in my twilight years), I will live like a one percenter. So perfect. I've decided it all. The only thing I sort of regret is that I won't get to see what my kids would look like. That's kind of sad. But there are internet sites for that, and as far as I know, there are no internet sites for living out your dreams, so it's a small sacrifice to make. Of course, all this depends on actually going to college. So I guess I better get back to those essays. Ugh.