Ffffff-

Oh FML, I'm so stupid, I think I should go die! I have a 2.98 because I didn't study because I'm too smart for the classes that I'm taking! But my life is terrible anyway! And therefore you guys all should have terrible lives too! Wait! What's that? You're not interested in hearing me say the same whiny thing for the seventh consecutive time? I HATE YOU! HOW DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER! Ooohh, FML....
Just shut the eff up, Zac. Enough of your pediatric puling. We're not in fifth grade anymore, so please desist with your attempts at manliness. Being rough and tough and confrontational does not make you a "bro", it makes you a dickpad. And no one wants a dickpad around except walking vaginas. And I don't think you'd enjoy hanging out with a walking vagina very much. They tend to have assholes for neighbors.
Oh, what a pleasant and lovely family we have. The dad hates any and every sound, except for the sound of his own voice. He also apparently hates us. The mom is so self sacrificing that it is sad. The older brother is a whiny, bratty, smartassed college student who thinks that he is the shiznit of the earth (and is the shiznit of the town). The sister is a sharp tongued little artist who looks like a model and never stops complaining about how fat she is. The youngest brother is a brat as well, a hyper, snappish, internet addicted child who looks at least three years younger than he actually is. And me? Stupid, fat, and ugly, and convinced that I'm a genius because I manage to ace my honor classes with minimal to no effort, and possessed of a hypocritical and evil personality that never really manifests itself because I always act like an anime character. Wonderful. We are of the most perfect genetic material ever. We should become the templates for a new generation.
Dear me. Now we are all discussing the most effective ways of killing someone. Personally, I think criminals on death row should just be locked up with Dad for awhile and they will emerge as detritivore fodder. The efficacy of a discourse on demons, plastics, crop circles, and mass brainwashing is unparalleled.
So.... I'm on winter break now... It's amazing. Although somewhat lonely. I miss everyone already. Oh, how sad, I sound like a farmer. Wait, what? Oh my....
Singer songwriter, hmm? How smart do you have to be to do that? Songs are ridiculously easy to make, and you can have a voice like a sieve (i.e none) and still be famous, i.e Lady GaGa and Justin Beiber. (No, Bieber? Or is it Beiber? Dammit, these Canadian people...) Oh well. I think I will make a song now. It will be lovely and beautiful. It will be.... it will be one of my favorite WTF songs!
Indeed! This one is called Rose Of Decay. (Isn't that a sexy name?)
Fading, falling, death on death
Lying on the snow
Living like a flower
A million years ago
In the moonlight fading
In the dark lit sun
Wishes pay it nothing
Till everything is done
Dancing forever
Rose of decay
Swirling in the moonlight
Never fade away
Watching forever
Never reach the end
Dying a death that
Life cannot defend
Bleeding with diamonds
Gashes of gold
Treasures that everyone
Would die to behold
Richer than a king
Darker than a tomb
Festering bony fingers
Sweep a gilded room
Dancing forever
Rose of decay
Swirling in the moonlight
Never fade away
Watching forever
Never reach the end
Dying a death that
Life cannot defend
Reach for tomorrow
Stretch out your hand
Hear the angel calling for you
Heed the sharp command
Dancing forever
Rose of decay
Swirling in the moonlight
Never fade away
Watching forever
Never reach the end
Dying a death that
Life cannot defend!
Ohhh, I am a fucking genius. That song is soooo morbid! I am a veritable Orpheus. (Hopefully more intelligent though. And female.) Unless I am a hermaphrodite. Could that be? I have the hairiest upper lip known to man. I have to pluck the sides of it so as not to appear to be role-playing as King Kong. Pluck it! Is that not ridiculous? Maybe I should go in for one of those surgeries where they remove your hair follicles. But then what would happen if some evil villain kidnapped me and would only set me free if I donated the hair follicles in my upper lip? I wouldn't have any! And so I'd be screwed. That would be terrible! I think maybe it's better to keep my money, er, I mean nobly withdraw my petition for vanity in favor of some other unfortunate and let the hairs grow free and wild. They are, after all, just as much a part of me as my feet, and I don't go around plucking off my feet, do I? But that may have something to do with the fact that upper lip hairs manifest themselves again and again and feet typically do not, unless you are one of those salamanders or something. Er, no, salamanders regenerate their tails. Well, something like that. I never claimed to be a naturalist.
I was forced to attend the world's longest orchestra rehearsal today. Sort of an orchestra, at any rate. It consisted of (besides my family and myself) two rather talentless violinists, a bored looking cello, and about fifteen saxophones.
Oh, lovely, I must needs go.
Farewell.