very long and rambling

Hmm... Kitty said if I stay on the computer too long, my eyes will turn square. But I've only been on here like half an hour, and I took a picture of myself to see if they were square. They weren't, but I did look rather sweaty and ugly, so I deleted it.
EEEEESSSHHHHH why do I have to look so frickin ugly during the summer? It's my favorite season, and yet I look like shit! Crud!
No wonder no one wants to date me. No one likes fat girls.
Except for weird old geezers who like to Play Dick with themselves, apparently.
Ugh, poor me. Why do I have to be so effin fat and ugly?
It's really really annoying.
It doesn't even matter if you have a big chest, apprently, because that's not in fashion right now. Look at Teen Vogue and everyone looks like they just came out of an Anorexia Acceptance Program. I just know I won't win that photo contest, even though I had a cute outfit, cause NO ONE LIKES A FAT GIRL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, I should go on a diet, or go excersise or something, but it's so annoying. It's too much trouble.
I know I'm going to weigh at least 500 pounds when I grow up, though.
Society is biased! What's wrong with lovin' the healthy people? Natalie Portman is gorgeous, of course, but she's gonna pass out from hunger-induced heart failure someday. And then who will be laughing? Not me, because that isn't funny, but I'm sure someone will be.
So? That proves my point! I may be fat, but at least I've got a booty to shake!
Ludacris said he liked big girls. So there. (Although I'm not sure that really says anything, because I'm sure Ludacris would like any girl he could convince to come home with him.)
And I'm definately not that kind of girl.
I'm bored, though. I don't wanna get off the computer, because then I wouldn't have anything to do, and also Kitty and Sungmin are "playing", which of course really means fighting, so this gives me an excuse to stay out of their way. You can't break the computer, after all...
Sabbath is so... I mean, sure, it's a good thing! But, forgive me for saying this, I really don't- Well, I can't say that, but you know, right? Today Mom decided I needed to help her in Sungmin's sabbath school, so I missed all the singing in both my sabbath school, and big church because we were late. Crud! Then, I had to sit next to some weird, oldish dude who kept pressing his leg up against mine and smelled strongly of cologne. I couldn't move, of course, because Kitty, next to me was sitting next to another creepy oldish dude (he didn't smell like cologne though. He didn't smell too good, either, but that's another story) and far be it from me to make her be rammed up against this guy. Gotta protect the little children, right? So, self sacrificingly, I sat there throughout the entire sermon, growing more and more uncomfortable as Mr. Self Styled Stud put his moves (and leg) on me. You can bet when the sermon was done, I bolted...
Aaahhhhhhh, I feel bad! I dissed Jade's friends! I called them "A ravenous bunch of growling werewolves" or something of the sort. It's not my fault, though! They are! That group, who laughed all through the murder of 42 ninth graders, will never gain my respect again.
Especially TiTi.
Even though she wasn't actually present.
But still.
I think it's ok with her, because she didn't appear to mind (and she makes it painfully obvious when she minds), but I still feel baaaaaaaad! *Sobs with dramatical gasping cries and groans*.
Oh well. I am better off without that murderous crew anyway.
What would I want with a bunch of bourgeoise cutthroats anyhow? They'd probably just do themselves with kitchen knives.
TiTi especially.
*Snicker* that girl is so emo, she puts Nine-Inch Nails to shame!
She's so fat I used up a tank of gas trying to drive around her!
She's so annoying she should be used a weapon in torturing prisoners!
She's so gay she gets her Little Life Lessons from Lindsay Lohan!
She's so stupid she thinks wing nuts are served with the cheese course!
She's so weird they dropped her from the Attaining Nirvana training program!
She's so evil you could kill her by driving a stake through her heart!
She's so tenacious you could hypnotize her five times and not teach her a single thing!
AND SHE DOESN"T KNOW HOW TO WASH HER FREAKIN HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!
...
Ok, now I feel really bad. I don't like to call people stupid or fat, since it's sort of hypocrisy. But still, that girl is pure evil! She should change her last name to Cullen.
Wait, they're not supposed to be "evil".
Well, they are anyway.
Cause I frickin hate Edward.
Nyah.
Ohhhhh, but I looooooove Carlisle! He is like the epitome of hot! ♥ ♥ ♥ And he's, like totally kind too! And he doesn't like blood... EEEEEEEEEEE! *rabid fangirl scream* He is sooooo hot...
Speaking of hot, I saw the New Moon trailer, and it had Taylor What'sHisName in it. He cut his hair, y'know, and now he's like so.....
Mouthwatering! *spoken in a James voice* (or was it Lawrence? or whoever it was who wanted to go and off Bella.)
At any rate, the dude was so hot I almost had to buy a new ceiling fan! PURPLE CRUD
(I don't like to say OMG or anything like that, so I just say purple crud. Gets the job done, dontcha think?) (Justin does that too. Not purple crud, exactly, but he dose substitute random words in for cuss words. It sounds easy, but it takes talent! I mean, not every word works. You can't just yell "Oh, GLUE!!!" or anything. It's gotta sound cool. The longer, the better! Like.... "Flaming purple crud biscuit with moldy cherry butter pickle relish on top! It's a ickypoo geezerlicious creepzoid!" And yes, I actually have said that.) This is getting off track, but don't you think Justin is really cute? I mean, he's just so innocent and nice! And completely unaffected by his wealth. Plus being extremely good looking... Sometimes I just wanna marry him!!!
Just kidding. But really. There aren't very many people like him anymore!
Or Crystal. She's so nice it's almost creepy, except it isn't. Cause she's nice. I almost feel like a fake, cause I'm really a pretty bitchy person, but with her, it's genuine! (I think) I love my homies.
My homies are da bestest! Yay! ♥ ♥ ♥
This is Jasmine's Little Life Policy:
If yo my homie, there nothin I won't do for ya. But if you ain't, then there nothin I won't do to bring ya down.
*spoken with a gangsta face*
Ok, that's actually not true, but it sounds good, doesn't it? Especially the bring yo down part. Unfortuantely, I'm too simple minded to actually wish harm on someone, so I have to be content with cussing at TiTi and cursing Chris Brown by hoping he falls down the stairs in front of the entire court, thereby heightening his lofty sentence. (I'm sooooooooo glad Rihanna broke up with him! Whew!) Poor me... I'm a fool! Boooooo!
There was this thing in my Bible (It's a teen Bible) that had some guidelines as to if you are wise or not. Well... sad to say, I didn't match up with any of them URGH!
Hey, well, it doesn't matter if I'm a hero or not!
...As long as I dress like Catwoman.
Eeesh.
Actually, wait, what does Catwoman wear? If it's really sexy, maybe that's a good thing! Maybe I'm getting complee-mented on mah boo-tay! Mwah!
...But somehow, I don't think so.

xoxoxo~♥~