If it's true that I've really gotten this job, then everything is changing in the best possible way, and I can't be more excited. I knew I'd absolutely aced the interview, and when she showed me around and introduced me to the staff, I was as optimistic as one can be while still being wary of everything and everyone, as is everyone in the job market nowadays, and she told me that I'd receive word on a specific day (today), and I could barely think of anything else until I got the call, ten minutes before I was about to sign my contract for another company. And I accepted of course, and now I have a time-frame to look at before I start work, and I need to find an apartment and probably get some better work clothes. And I need to save like crazy so E and I can finally be together and get married. Thank God for the IRS, because I finally got my stimuluses (stimuli?) and tax return (my fault for filing so late), and that plus the amount I found stashed away from high school in an old bank account are enough to set me up. And while we're thanking God for things, thank God for salary. And for opinionated directors who don't mind hiring opinionated people with few professional qualifications. And for my personality, difficult and stubborn though it is, because I'm so glad I didn't settle for something less than this. I just can't believe it's real, not really, but it also sort of feels right, like all the important things in life do, somehow. Things happen how they're supposed to, and I have to remember that. Maybe that's as close to spirituality as I'll ever get. I guess I don't mind. If I'm important to anyone, a version of me will be in their afterlives anyway. 

Maybe I'm high, but Proust was right.

 Maybe I should rebrand and make this blog more like it was meant to be, which is just a dump for my thoughts.

So what's up with the fascists these days, right? Omg literally my brother thinks you can be a Republican and a good person at the same time, like honey, in this day and age? However, the state of the world is such that I now hate liberals too, so I suppose from a reductionist, inflammatory, uninformed, grossly-calculated-and-undervaluing-of-human-life point of view, it sort of makes sense.

Well, I guess that's why.

Renting in LA is such a procedure, like you have to go on a fuckin quest to collect the bones of four martyred saints and ask the Virgin Mary for a reference, and then the rent is 2000 per month and you live in a cardboard box outside the Wilshire/Western metro, and parking isn't even included. I feel like more people should be radicalized by the time they meet their first landlord, but that may be unrealistic. Surely after you meet your first landlord, though, you should be able to get it together. They're like vampires, but not sexy, and if they kill you, it's absolutely not worth it. However, they can also be gotten rid of with a stake through the heart, if you choose to go that route (*not recommended for people of color). Why do you need my credit history, bro? Just trust me! I do have to say, though, that I would rather starve to death in my own place than live rent-free here. I don't care if that makes me a total Marius (I mean I kinda do), like bro I gotta live my own life even if it kills me!! It might, but then at least I will die before the planet explodes, so swings and roundabouts, innit.

Also, I think more people should want to hire me. I'm superb. I'm exquisite. I have fat tits. Literally, what else could you ask for? Employers simply do not know the blessing among them, and that's the sad fact. It's why they're hiring on Indeed. It's true, I am also on Indeed, but I have a lot more sex appeal than they do, so I feel like it all comes out in the wash. Hopefully one of the interviews I have this week will pan out. I am SO FUCKING SICK of just being at home all day. I want to wear cute professional outfits and gossip around the water cooler with my normcore colleagues </3 What's a guy gotta do to get boomer-level job security around here??

Maybe I'll have to be an assassin. I don't want to, but I've always sort of been convinced that I would eventually be obliged to take up the gun, or at least I have been since I listened to Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge in my young and formative years. After that, I felt, it was just a matter of when before I was inevitably thrust upon the murder scene. I don't even think I would be good at it, really. I'm not what one might call tough. That means I might have the element of surprise on my side, though, because just as no one expects the Spanish Inquisition, no one (outside of a small society of anime nerds) expects the little 100-lb blonde girl to start swinging. Maybe I can hide arson materials in my pigtails like LynZ did when she auditioned for Mindless Self Indulgence. Oh, and you know I need a Ferrari and lots of couture clothes and shoes as well. I'll be like Catwoman!