ramblings on a fine and sexy man

I am completely energized from choreography now. I'm very bad at it, but I do derive a certain measure of entertainment from blithely leaping and bouncing atop the risers careless of time and place. So if I cause us to lose the competition, I shall at least have the satisfaction of knowing that I had a good time.
...Who am I kidding, I fuckin hate it.
So! Have I explained in full and descriptive detail my date with JTJ? *licks lips salaciously* Dayy-umm, that man is FIIIIIINE! He got an ass like ME! Wait, what?
So! The day after Valentine's Day (I got 10 valentines, by the by, NOT to brag or anything, just stating a pertinent fact), as I was walking with Allie from AP Euro to math, I stopped to put my folder into the choir room. (I had taken it home to learn my solo for Madonna as I am le understudy grande. FUUUUUUUUUU-) anyway, where was I? Oh yes. So as I was leaving, I tripped on something in the doorway. What could it be, I wondered? Slowly my eyes traveled up the length of a strangely familiar object. What was it? Oh yes, a leg. That's what it was called. And what was this spectacular leg doing here in my path to the sidewalk? Obviously, it was... at that particular moment, I lost my train of thought as I realized that attached to this leg was JTJ, and he was looking remarkably fine. "Hey," he said. "Gnnnnfrrgggh" I replied with alacrity. "What's up?" he continued. "Um...." said I, trying desperately to recall some of the tips in Cosmo for talking to extremely sexy guys. Was one supposed to flip one's hair and then cross one's legs, or the other way around? And did not this sequence of events necessitate a sitting position first? I realized it had been awhile since I had said anything. "Not much, you?" I asked suavely. Wonderful, he probably thought I was a moron. "I'm ok," he said. Well, this conversation was getting nowhere fast. Where the hell was Allie? Surely she would have something to add.I turned to my left, only to collide with a very startled looking Bonnie. "Hi," she said awkwardly, before running off to chitchat with HorseFace, probably about the wonderful Speech and Debate and Masturbate Club D'La Moronne. (Seriously, why do they like it so much? They are totally obsessed. It doesn't take mad skills to stand up and tout your own intelligence for half an hour! Talk show hosts do the same thing! And for much more pay, too.) "You busy on Thursday?" asked JTJ in his wonderfully sexy voice. (Actually, his voice is as annoying as fuck, but that doesn't make this story sound like a rejected romance novel from the 1970's, so let us gloss over that minor detail) "Not really!" I replied perkily. I knew what was coming, of course. Enough guys have asked me out that even I can see the signs. Plus I watch Glee. "Wanna go do something?" he asked, still trying to affect the "smooth" voice that would undoubtedly tug on my heart strings. It was certainly tugging on my patience. "Sure!" I said again, sounding like a hybrid between a cheerleader and an anime character. "Awesome," he said, and drifted off. Well! Welllll.... I floated over to Ivy and Allie, who may have for all I know been discussing world peace or the cure for cancer or the new album from My Chemical Romance or something equally wonderful. "Phweeehheeheheheeeee..." I sang. "I, he, that is, asked, I me, he..." "He asked her out," explained Allie, who had apparently been forewarned of this plan. "Yes, we, me, he... DAMN, HE IS FUCKIN SEXY!!!" I exploded at last, lacking milder words to express the joy in my soul. "When?" asked Ivy tersely, not impressed by my eloquence. "Thursdayyyyyy..." I sang again, then fell immediately to deciding what to wear. "Black? Or black and red?" I asked. "Or maybe nothing at-" "JASMINE!" interrupted Ivy conveniently. "This is so exciting!" chirped Bonnie, who, it appeared, knew of this as well. "I know, isn't it?" said Allie. "Jas has finally got a real man!" "Is he a REAL real man, though?" asked Karen seriously. "I heard he was totally gay." "Then why would he ask Jas out?" demanded Anna. Sexy shit, did the entire school know about this escapade? "Oh gosh..." I gasped. "He isn't just using me to prove his sexuality, is he?" "You'd certainly be good for that!" said Bonnie with a knowing wink. I knew it was a mistake to tell her about the Austin-cherry-popping-dick-boob fandango. Now the entire Speech team believes me to be a slut. (Actually, that's not really a new phenomena, so I shouldn't be worried) "No, he's not like that," said Anna reassuringly. "I think." Gee, thanks, hun. You really helped me out there. By this time, we had gotten to math, so we had to let our cheery gossip wait until Chem when Eva ambushed me. "Did he ask you?" she demanded. "Yeah, he-" I started to say, when a loathsome voice cut me off. "Whaaaaat's this? Jasmine got asked ouuuuuut? I didn't know the mental hospital had a visiting day!" It was Monsieur Le Pothead. "I guess they did, otherwise you wouldn't be here, right?" I asked him. He had to think about that one for a minute. "Um. Go die." he offered at last. Pot has a way of altering one's brain cell function in a deleterious manner. Poor boy, I must have wounded him deeply. It was a whole minute before he started asking me for my answers to the stoichiometry problems.
Still. La la, I'm happy!
Actually, no. After our little date (he even kissed me! Kyaah! And he's really bad at it! Tee hee!) he hasn't really talked to me much. So he probably finds me irritating.
SEXY SHIT! Speaking of irritating! Are ALL MEN so fucking OBNOXIOUS???!!!! Dad is being a total prickbag right now! Totally stupid. He is so ungrateful! I can't believe he has the temerity to try and dictate Mom's actions after she has done everything for him! Ugh, now he's trying to spy on me. Wonderful. I just love men, don't you?
Ok, I think I'll go eat a whole bunch of stuff and get fat as shit and be so unattractive that JTJ will hate me forever. Cause that's everyone's dream scenario, right?

Yeah, it's short. Eff you.

Killer queen ♥
Hell yeah, that's me.
...I wish.
Dammit! I scored a date with Le Hotpot (HP) but after that he didn't really blow up my phone with texts, so I didn't text him back and he never said hi to me in AP Euro OR math, and so I think he hates me now! SEXY SHIT! The one effing time I get asked out by mi amour, he turns out to bear a deep grudge against my boobs! (Or something. I mean, he's a guy, so he should naturally think of me as sex in a skirt. Actually, that should be my new nickname. Sex-in-a-skirt. I like it! It has a more positive connotation than Le Stupid Cunt, which is the nickname I had previously been using for myself ever since the start of freshman year. More classy, don't you think?) Anyway, that's actually quite a problemo. He never made lewd comments fornication-ward, and never told me in exquisite detail the many attributes of his cock. Should I be worried? What the heck, of course I should. Besides the fact that he obviously does not like me, he may quite possibly be gay. Actually, I think he might be. He certainly acts like it. (Smart, hot, sexy, witty, nice, etc) Oh! Speaking of gay, I am almost absolutely certain that CTC and A are. I saw them smooching after class today and K said she saw them getting hot and heavy behind the risers after choreography. Day-ummm! What will happen when they break up? When CTC breaks up with A that is. She dated five guys in one month. That's worse than me! For a freshman, she sure gets around! Cough*slut*cough.
Maybe I shouldn't be badmouthing my own choir sister.
Wait, I'm not! Being a slut is a GOOD thing! Exhibit A, me!
Ok, bye.